Ruroken,
A lot of deep thoughts there. From time to time people come to this site and post a thread, that suggests a 'new' aspect to being Transgendered or being a Crossdresser. Like you they don't like the idea of being a Crossdresser, and they purge, start over ,purge again. Vow that they can't live with themselves if they continue to dress. It becomes an endless cycle that wears them down mentaly,emotionaly,work, just about everything. OR you can take a deep breath, accept that you are who you are, and that that person is a great gal/guy who happens to like wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. Life become simple and enjoyable again. The fact that there is a whole community of people in the world composed of thousands of people in very diverse backgrounds should give you peace that you are not alone.
