How do you view crossdressing? I view crossdressing as a wonderful way for a man to express how they view/feel themselves, in that my ex felt like he was a woman trapped in a mans body/life.

Are guys paying you a compliment by trying to emulate the feminine, by aspiring to show their admiration my copying the things you wear, the way you move, the way you talk? In the relationship I had, I can only wish that this answer was it. If my ex thought this way, he would have had more love, more compassion, more of everything for me than what he did.

Or, are they somehow competing with you, trying to do a better job of being a woman, wearing sexier stuff, in essence saying, "here's how you ought to do it." ? When I first found out, this was a thought. The more I learned the more I knew he wasn't competing due to the fact that I am just not a skirt/dress wearing female. I like pretty lacy things for bed, lounging around in and wearing underneath my clothes but basically I'm a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. Very loaid back and comfortable which is the opposite of his uptight nature. And I found out why he's uptight. More about that in a minute.

Or, are they simply a pathetic caricature of what a 'real' woman should be? Are they in effect embarrassing themselves by trying to be something they are not? I don't beleive that one can embarass oneself. YOu do things because you like them. The only way you can embarass yourself truly is to do anything it in front of one or more people. Since many crossdressers are in the closet, how are they embarrassed? I've learned that CD'ers aren't trying to be someone they are not, they're trying to be who they truly feel that they are deep down and choose their moments for doing so, trying to find that perfect blend for their life.


More on why he was uptight: I found out he was a CD'er the last 6 months of our 2 year relationship. I wish I had known from the beginning. I do not like lies. The hardest part to get past was the fact that I was lied to. In the end he got very violent in getting rid of me. He was very mean and mocked things I said in th relationship, said he hated who I was (then why have me) and said the reason he had women in his life was because he always hated himself for being a male and that by having a female, he could feel better about himself, knowing he had better things than that female did (kind of a competition but only in that aspect). All the better if she helped him in picking out clothing. He said that he picked women that were fatter than he was and in his opinion uglier than he was because he always wanted to be pretty instead of handsome (and in my opinion he was handsome) but wont give up his biker-manly image in order to pass. By having someone uglier and fatter, he could look at hiself while dressed and say "now I am more beautiful than my other half, maybe someday I'll get rid of the moustache and goatee." When he said all of this at the end, it shattered my already diminishing sense of self-esteem that I had, any love for myself that I still possessed and shattered my world and made him laugh as he was throwing me out into the cold and snow. All in all it matched the superiority complex that he carried in all other aspects of his life.

I hope this makes sense. I read it over and to me it does, I just know that sometimes what I want to say doesn't come out the way it should so that others can understand it. Just ask here or in private, I'd be most happy to "try to" explain.