Ah, relatives. You can't live with them and you can't push them off a cliff. You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family. You have heard it all before.
It comes from fear and ignorance. Ignorance can be fixed. But the ignoramus must want to learn. Remember that kid in school who would not listen no matter what? You can't teach that type of person. In this case they have a frame of reference that is based on years of misinformation.
Unfortunately if they did have a gay child, these are the type of people who would cut all strings and never speak again. You don't think they would quit "loving" their child? They would in a heart beat. Talk about sanctimonious. They wrote the book.
It will take something earth moving for them to even start to see. In this country, with interstate highways, internet access, and cable news, we are still a cloistered and ignorant society. We still live in our shells.
I have been in similar situations as you have with relatives. I have ranted, raved, argued and even pointed out scripture that refutes their ideas (when they have used scripture to argue their point). The advice above seems to be the least painful for you and your spouse. Ignore it and move on if you want to keep any ties you have. It is hard, but you can gently try and skew their misinformed ideas with time. Softly gently.
Make salient points they may comprehend. Ask then how a gay or TG person affects them personally. Does it take food from your mouth, money from their pockets or breath from their lungs? If you look at it hard enough you can refute their arguments with logic. You cannot win by emotion, no matter how passionate you are. I don't think it is a lost cause, but you have to choose your battles. That does not mean you roll over and play dead. You did the right thing when the FIL said something about gay children. I usually add that I don't really care for statements like that and although I love them (unconditionally even if they were green and slimy and all ickky) I personally find such comments offensive and would appreciate that they keep them to themselves. Adding, you never know who they may know who is in that lifestyle. Usually they look at me with a shocked looked, I give a crooked smile and sometimes a wink and they shut up quickly.
