How would you deal with your SO crossdressing?

[DaphneGrey]

So here is my question. If your wife or girlfriend started crossdressing would you be supportive?

I have no reason to ask other than my own curiosity as I think about trying to understand my supportive wife and what she goes through to be married to someone like me. I wonder if I could do the same thing. I think trying to see this whole thing from her perspective really helps me understand how amazing she is.

And please spare the women get to wear pants all the time and men can't wear aything remotley feminine, bla bla bla line. I mean crossdressing and everything it entails. Forum activity, male name, not shaving , going out etc..

Just wondering.

[Marie-Elise]

I would not mind at all. In fact, she told me she spent a year only dressing in men's clothes when she was in college. I might have an issue with full time because I am attracted to women only. But otherwise, I would be all over it.

[Amy Lynn3]

Like the gg's say....if I knew going into the relationship I would be fine with it. But years into the relationship if the issue came out of the closet I think it might be a problem, but I don't know, as I have not been there. I might be like the gg's and take it in stride. I would think I would, especially if the relationship was healthy anyway.

[Bethany38]

My wife really does not crossdress and if she did I do not think it would be an issue. I fell in love with her not the clothes on her back. A small side note when I quit wearing my boxer briefs and started to wear panties full time, she started wearing my old boxer briefs, and stopped wearing her panties. Go figure

[linnea]

Yes. If that is what she wants to do, I'm all for it. I would expect the same standards of behavior to apply to her as I apply to myself: consideration for each other's ideas and feelings, monogamy with each other, openness and honesty, support and acceptance.

[Joanne f]

I would not mind any of it apart from being very hairy as i do not like very hairy people and the going out would depend on what it was for .

[ninapuella]

I would not bother as long as she doesnt do it because she is lazy. A lazy girl that goes into a "male-style" is not hot at all.

[Mackenzie]

That's a great question that I have thought about and talked with my precious wife about.

If she wanted to "crossdress", female to male, I would have fun with it. I would buy her male underwear, some male clothing, a nice ball cap or something to hide her very beautiful hair, etc. Whatever name she would like to be called, that's how I'd address her. I would find out how she wanted to express her masculinity and we would do it. It would be fun and something very "us" that we would do together.

If she decided not to shave the legs and underarms, to me it's no big deal. It would be part of her wanting to express her masculinity. Again, I would support it.

She is very supportive of me so I would certainly have fun with her.

Mackenzie

[Misty G]

I wouldn't have any problem with it. what ever makes them happy is ok by me.

[ikthys]

I will answer this honestly and let the nay sayers say their nay.
Of course taking into consideration that there is no good parallel due to the whole "women wear pants all the time, bla, bla, bla", if she was actually trying to express a "masculine" image and manifestation, I should think I'd be turned off and grossed out. I married a woman, and I would be very concerned if she wanted to pretend to be the opposite. It's one thing to be a woman who has hair, or a woman who wears loose fitting clothes, etc. It's a whole other thing for her to be trying intentionally to personify a man and "manliness". Of course, I'd really have no other option but to work through it with her honestly and with deep emphathy

[linda allen]

That's a great question that I have thought about and talked with my precious wife about.

If she wanted to "crossdress", female to male, I would have fun with it. I would buy her male underwear, some male clothing, a nice ball cap or something to hide her very beautiful hair, etc. Whatever name she would like to be called, that's how I'd address her. I would find out how she wanted to express her masculinity and we would do it. It would be fun and something very "us" that we would do together.

If she decided not to shave the legs and underarms, to me it's no big deal. It would be part of her wanting to express her masculinity. Again, I would support it.

She is very supportive of me so I would certainly have fun with her.

Mackenzie

But what if she started wearing prosthetic male genitals? Sort of like us wearing forms and "tucking".

[ikthys]

But what if she started wearing prosthetic male genitals? Sort of like us wearing forms and "tucking".

Exactly- yuck!

[linda allen]

I will answer this honestly and let the nay sayers say their nay.
Of course taking into consideration that there is no good parallel due to the whole "women wear pants all the time, bla, bla, bla", if she was actually trying to express a "masculine" image and manifestation, I should think I'd be turned off and grossed out. I married a woman, and I would be very concerned if she wanted to pretend to be the opposite. It's one thing to be a woman who has hair, or a woman who wears loose fitting clothes, etc. It's a whole other thing for her to be trying intentionally to personify a man and "manliness".

I would be fine with that providing it's just occasionally and I was dressed as a female at the same time. Sort of a role reversal. She would be the male, I would be the female. Actually, I would be more than fine with it.

[ReineD]

I would buy her male underwear, some male clothing, a nice ball cap or something to hide her very beautiful hair, etc.

But what if she decided to get a man's haircut?

[JustWendy]

Wow, this is not as easy a question to respond to as I thought it would be. As a TG male, the easy response would be that I hope I would be as accepting of her as I want people to be of me. But to truly understand what we ask of our SOs, I have to ask myself the question, “what if I were a non-TG hetero male, and I fall in love with a woman. I not only admire and love the person she is, but I’m crazy about her looks – the smooth hairless curves of her body, the smell of her perfume, the way her earrings sparkle in the light as I brush her hair to the side as we kiss. Then one day she comes to me and says she really needs to explore her masculine side. She prefers the scent of Old Spice, she hates wearing jewelry, she wants to stop shaving, and asks how I would feel if she started wearing a men’s styled wig when we were at home. Can I truthfully say this wouldn’t be a deal breaker? I could see where it could be.

[darla_g]

You know asking this question puts ones own crossdressing in a new light. If i were to ask my GF she would say she doesn't mind the crossdressing, but it's not her hobby not mine and she likes seeing the masculine side of me too more.

If you flip it around and she wanted to crossdress I suppose I would be supportive, but i must confess I'm not really into masculine trends (eg. wingtip shoes flat) making their way into female styles. I guess that comes off as a bit of a double standard. But if you consider it from a female perspective thats how a bunch of women tend to view their partner's crossdressing.

[ikthys]

Wow, this is not as easy a question to respond to as I thought it would be. As a TG male, the easy response would be that I hope I would be as accepting of her as I want people to be of me. But to truly understand what we ask of our SOs, I have to ask myself the question, “what if I were a non-TG hetero male, and I fall in love with a woman. I not only admire and love the person she is, but I’m crazy about her looks – the smooth hairless curves of her body, the smell of her perfume, the way her earrings sparkle in the light as I brush her hair to the side as we kiss. Then one day she comes to me and says she really needs to explore her masculine side. She prefers the scent of Old Spice, she hates wearing jewelry, she wants to stop shaving, and asks how I would feel if she started wearing a men’s styled wig when we were at home. Can I truthfully say this wouldn’t be a deal breaker? I could see where it could be.

This almost brought me to tears thinking about how much I must have crushed my sweet wife's innocent and natural feelings for me at first. Thanks for exploring it from "their" side like this.

[Pythos]

If my female SO popped on me she wanted to be male, it would really depend on how she acted. If her behavior in male mode was one that mocked men, and exhibited those qualities of men that I despise, then we would be over. Pure and simple.

If she just liked the male style and wanted nothing to do with female styles, I would accept her clothing that she is abandoning

If she was hypocritical however and said that I could not wear "feminine" stuff, but she could wear masculine styles. Then our relationship would be damaged.

There are many factors, but the bottom line with me is, I would not care what she wore, as long as she remained the person I loved, and was not a hypocrite. If she went out fully as a male, then she would not balk at me going out with her completely en fem.

[Mackenzie]

Maybe I need to clarify. No, I would not want my beautiful wife to get her hair cut any more than she would want me to grow long hair. I would not want her to have fake genitals any more than she would want me to have mine removed and for me to grow breasts.

But my point is that I would extend to her the same understanding and kindness that she so lovingly extends to me.

I am a man and want to remain a man. I do manly things. I get rough, I hunt, I would fight for my family at the drop of a hat.

But also, like the rest on the forum, we "slip into" our femme side and have fun for a bit, then revert back. That's what I would allow her to do if she so wished. Slip into "male mode" but then get back to my beautiful and ever-so-feminine bride of 31 years.

Mackenzie

[suchacutie]

Looking at the situation from the reversal of roles is, or course, fascinating. It looks like my wife and I have been more careful about this than we knew at the time, though it's likely my wife is simply brilliant and has seen the issues in the clear light of day.

With that preamble, all I would ask is that the agreements that we have cut both ways. We married as a heterosexual couple and we both agree that this original attraction must be maintained as we are not interested in others of our biological genders. Since Tina is her girlfriend, Tina would continue to be her girlfriend regardless of gender presentation, and I would be her boyfriend. The rules about "she gets her man when she wants him" would also apply in reverse.

With us, Tina is an adventure in trying to understand who this feminine creature is and what part she plays in my life. I would presume that the same would be true in reverse, leading to all manner of discussions of "how to be masculine", some of which we have already had as comparisons of how to be feminine, including growing up in the particular genders, psychology, socialization, and the like. In fact, it would be a bit of a hoot to help her work through her masculinity just as I'm working through my femininity.

Can one buy crewcut wigs? Which issues would be harder FTM as compared to MTF?

The key would be that we much continue to work on this together as a part of our relationship.

tina

[linda allen]

........ I would not want her to have fake genitals any more than she would want me to have mine removed and for me to grow breasts ............

That's not the same thing. If you can wear "fake breasts", why couldn't she wear fake genitals?

My wife doesn't know I CD but if she came to me and said she wanted to dress up like a male from time to time, I would say "OK, then I'll dress up as a female." Genitals would be fine.

I am not one who wants to become a female or feels I was born in the wrong body, I just like to pretend from time to time that I am a female. What better way to do it than to have a trusted "pretend male" to do it with?

......... Can one buy crewcut wigs? Which issues would be harder FTM as compared to MTF?

Hiding the breasts might be an issue depending on their size. "Bald" wigs are available but I don't know if they would cover long female hair. Beards, mustach, etc. are available. Male genitals are available as flacid and erect (I hope I'm not going too far into no-no land here).

[Tina B.]

For over thirty five years my wife has put up with me dressing up like a woman, and lately I mean a lot. I have not presented as a man in over a week now. So just how could I tell her she could not do the same. In all honesty, do to health issues, the sex life is pretty much over anyway, and with me dressed most of the time, we have become girlfriends more than anything else. If she decided to cross dress, then the differences would not be that much different. She only wears pants now, and the style of tops wouldn't even change that much, other than the buttons being on the other side, and maybe a different fabric. She has very short hair and wears in what I would have to call a gender neutral style. Hairy legs and genitals really would have no effect on me. Then we could be boyfriend girlfriend again, but I get to be the girl, hey I love this idea!
Tina B.

[meri]

I wouldn't like it very much, I married a female, not a male.

Now, I will say this, fully CDing women (hairy legs, full "drab" clothing, etc.) seem to be less frequent that CDing men. I believe this is because women have the latitude in their normal dress to include masculine looking things freely. For instance, jeans... I have known women who have gone from jeans, plaid shirt, pencil holders by day to a pretty dress, makeup, nails etc., by night. Women have earned the right to this wide range of choice over the past century.

I believe that one of the reasons men fully dress as a female is because we don't have the latitude to wear any female looking clothing at all. Hence, you need to adopt a fully female look to be able to wear anything female in nature.

I believe that if we as men had the full range of clothing choices available to us as women do, the incidence of fully crossdressing men would be much lower.

I practice what I preach, I am truly a "skirt" aficionado. I just plain "like them". I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be permitted to wear them (tastefully), so I do. Most of us are living in a country where they don't "stone" you or cut your hands off for such infractions. Hence, despite the numerous odd looks, I proudly go forth with my skirts. I am trying to achieve the same "balance" that women have already earned. I guess, I am earning my way too....

[Abbyru1]

My wife would still be my wife. I married her for better or worse in sickness or health etc.
When I said those words , I accepted who she is. This wouldn't change anything at all.
I don't expect it to happen but if it does so be it. I don't see me kicking her out of my life
for something as small as this.

[Holly]

[Sarcasm] Oh, I would support her/him. Of course s/he would have to abide by my boundaries. Under-dressing in boxers would probably be okay... except in the bedroom. S/he could fully dress one afternoon/evening a week and I would be happy to help pick out which dirty jeans and torn shirt would be least compatible. And I would be extra observant as I watched her/him cut the grass, trim the trees and shrubs, pull weeds, apply fertilizer, etc. Perhaps one day, when I am more comfortable, I will accompany him/her to the auto parts store while s/he gets the parts needed to repair my car. On our anniversary, I would get him/her something that would let her/him know that I accept and love the masculine side of her/him as well... maybe a nice nail gun or a box of cigars. Maybe in a few years, I will be comfortable enough to accompany her/him to the menswear store and go shopping together. I could hold different things up and ask, "Do you think 'Bob' would like this?" [/Sarcasm]

Okay, so here is the real deal. I married my wife for the total person she is... warts and all. If she decided that she, as a person, was more comfortable presenting as the male of the species, how could I deny her that?

Here's an unspoken truth; none of us are the same persons we were when we met our partners. It's the basic nature of living... we change, we grow, we discover. Ah, but love, love is different. It's constant. It's that point where our relationships are anchored (or should be). Love reaches past the physical and into the heart. Love allows us to live so that we can change, we can grow, we can discover. If we truly love our partners, how could we deny them?