Lingerie is a minefield! Lets face it lingerie isn't for her. Most women feel self conscious about their bodies and lingerie makes them even more self conscious. We like the way our wives look in it so we buy it for them. Not for them but for our own desire. My father had a saying," Never buy the one you love anything that you can plug in or lingerie for a gift because it will just get you in trouble." I realize that this was sage advise now that I am older and wiser.
That is one side of the coin. Now enter crossdressing, being transgender what ever you want to call it. I realize that I can no longer shop for or with my wife. I will always be accused of buying or looking at things for myself rather than her. It couldn't be further from the truth. When I buy a gift I buy it with her in mind. Not me. If I want something for myself I will buy it for myself and I will say it is for myself. I am who I am and I will buy what I feel I need. There is not a need to hide it under the false pretense of a gift for her. If I get her a necklace, bracelet or purse it has to do nothing with me wanting that item. It has to do with me wanting to demonstrate that an item pales in comparison to the love I have for her. If its not exactly what she wanted its not because I wanted it. Its simply because I mis-read her taste in that item.
My heart goes out to Allsteamedup and also her spouse. She sounds like a lot of wives that I know. Please understand most of us did not choose to be transgender. Its a burden or a gift, depending upon your perspective, that we had no say in carrying. Its a part of us and your sexuality, self respect, or attractiveness has nothing to do with us being who we are. Many wives often carry a "nasty lingering suspicion" concerning all of this and, depending on how and when we came out, many times it is initially deserved. However, after time passes there comes a point where she begins to own that nasty lingering suspicion. For a marriage to work there has to be trust not suspicion, honesty not deceit, and love not hate. I wish her and her hubby and all of the rest of us the best of luck in finding a way through all of this that provides everyone with happiness and love in the their lives.
