Turned off forever...your name says it all.
Sorry if that is harsh. But, I found what you had to say to be harsh...as well as confusing.
"rejected as a woman" What does that really mean? What standards are you even using? You loved this person who from the get go presented as a female. You two made love, and so on and so forth. So where is the problem, aside from you feeling "rejected as a woman". Did you express this?
"had no motivation to become more beautiful" I may be mistaken here, but for the most part, looking more beautiful is something you do for yourself.
YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE, you do not always have to please him. You state how wonderful it felt to make love with him as "a woman", what ever that means, and then he essentially asked to switch, and you got turned off.
Really? Seriously?
From what I am reading you two either had other issues, or you are basing the entire relationship off of sex...which to my understanding is something is done by teenagers.
Here are some suggestions.
1) lose the name, it is negative, and just shows EVERYONE that reads it you are unwilling to learn from others here
2) Call your SO and TALK THINGS OUT. Don't just dump him like this, relationships are a lot of work and ARE NOT JUST ABOUT SEX. I cannot over emphasize that. So many people base relationships off of the bed action... and look at the majority of the population.
I also find this line
"This whole thing made me feel like the world has only women and men who want to be women. So, falling in love with a man seems a utopia, it would be like I deceive myself.
My question is, you guys enjoy this, but does it really worth the pain you put us through? "
Just immature. Of course there are more than women, and men that want to be women. First off there is me. I in no way want to transition. To be honest the only things that would make me transition are if an all out law was put out saying men could only wear pants, or if my GG really desired it, and I felt like doing it. But I just like the looks and the feel of the looks. I am very straight, to a fault. I would like to seduce and love my GG when that time comes. I would love to be looking androg or even fem when I do so, and yes if she would like she can be in charge.
It sounds to me you want to be dominated, and if this is the case TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT. In my case I am just coming around to accepting the idea of dominating. The reasons I had issues with the notion is because of the negative connotations connected to dominant behavior by too many men I have heard of. But my GG is showing me that to dominate is not all that bad. I actually still don't like the term though.
You just sound like you need to remove the chip off your shoulder, swallow the pride, and re open communications with your SO.
In answer to your final question I ask this. Have you thought about the pain you just put your SO through just now. How about the pain you put both of you through by trying to maintain social constructs, because that is all that "making love to you like a woman", and so on are...social constructs, that pigeon hole people, and lead to false expectations.
Don't let others control you, and by others I mean society and its constructs.
