Hey everyone,
I'm a new member and wife of a cd (I guess I'm a GG?--not sure what it means). I found out about my husband through his cousin (also my friend) who opened up a browser on the computer and my husbands sexylittlecrossdresser myspace popped up. This was four years ago. We had been together for 3 years, almost to the day, were 19 at the time and had been living together for a few months. I remember being so shocked and upset. I didn't know what to think or do. I also remember blurting out a few minutes after I saw the pictures that, "It's wierd, but I can't think of anything that Jeff could do that would make me not love him." Don't get me wrong, it was very awkward that night when I confronted him about it. He has always been very emotional and this was no exception. He said he never wanted to do it(he had been doing it for 6 yrs then) and always felt guilty afterward. He promised he would never do it again-I didn't ask him to..it was his idea-not that I, honestly was opposed to it then. Anyway, we spoke very little about it, yet continued with our life together.
We had a beautiful baby boy a couple years ago and finally got married this last year. Every once in a while the fact that he was a crossdresser would get to me and I would pick a fight about it. Well, actually, I have to say it was mostly because of all the lying--I mean, he had a completely separate life from me that he was hiding since the beginning of our relationship! How was I supposed to trust him? Trust became a huge issue all the time. I started to notice how he wasn't as happy as he used to be (neither was I, but I suspected there was something else going on). Of course, my first reaction was that he was cheating on me.
Moving on, a few days ago I was looking through the pictures on his phone, deleting any ugly ones of myself and cooing over the adorable pictures of our son, when I came across about 50 pictures of him from back in the beginning to our house now! My heart was pounding as I walked in to talk to him and almost passed out. He was, of course, in denial-even when i had the pictures right in front of me! We talked a lot about what was going on and why he was still wanting to do it. I kept trying to tell him that just like in the case of a homosexual- you are born that way and theres nothing you can do but learn to accept it. He said he never wanted to do it again. I told him that if we were to move forward with our relationship we would have to create some sort of a compromise and it would have to include his crossdressing--even if I never seen it(for example..Tuesdays are his girlie days). He asked if I would be around still if that were our compromise. I told him, honestly, that I didn't know. Now, we have made up, but still havent set our rules completely. I am trying to be as accepting as possible because I love him more than life itself and I KNOW he feels the same. I would never want him to hide his true self. How aweful would that be to go through life (I know many of you know what I'm talking about) and have to hide the real you? IT disgusts me to think that that is what I've been having him do the last four years! I hate myself for it.
Well, thanks for listening--it felt good to get that out. I would love to hear any of your responses- cders, GGs, TGs, and anyone else. THanks!