Thought provoking question

[Cheryl T]

Well....I agree that at first (at a young age) that all this had it's fetishistic side. I was aroused by the clothing and the "forbidden" aspect of it all. Over the years that has faded away. I no longer have that intense desire to wear high fashion styles including sky high heels. I don't feel that makeup and all the other additions I make to my body to produce a more feminine appearance are tied to anything but my need to present to the world as a woman.
I don't dress for anyone but myself. I wear what I want to wear that day, that moment, that event. If I feel it's a skirt or dress occasion then that's what I wear. If I'm going to the mall I wear jeans or slacks or shorts or whatever because I'm just me. The fetish no longer has any hold on me. I am who I am and I dress how I feel.
There is also no more "arousal" at the thought of dressing or in the act. I am no more sexually stimulated by putting on my clothing than any other woman. Sometimes I do feel "sexy" and want to wear what will express that, but mostly that's the last thing I think about as I don my attire. I'm more concerned with the weather and will it ruin my hair than will I get stares if I wear this skirt.
I fear I have passed the plane of the average CD and progressed beyond. It's not about the clothes, it's about ME !!!!

[Christy_M]

Chemical dependency such as alcohol or drugs mixes blood with something foreign. Being addicted to the mix of those chemicals is truly a problem for many people. Considering that "adreneline" junkies are true addicts is a stretch. I think it is a little demeaning to think all I need to do is go through a 12 step program and be rid of my feminine self. There may be people who enjoy the thrill of dressing like the adreneline junkie but you shouldn't discount the feelings of so many others who "have" to express themselves for inner peace or personal sanity. If there was a way to definitively shift my thinking to something more "mainstream" I would probably leap at it so as not to fight myself every day about who I am and What I do with my wardrobe.

[Debra Russell]

"See, why doesn't a woman have the same need to wear makeup, heels, dresses, and fancy under garments to "feel right"?"

Because they ARE women. It's like wanting a corvette and owning one -- wanting = anticipation : owning = yeah so what? GG's don't want, they already have!!!!

[Sarah Doepner]

Mallory attempted to climb Mt. Everest and when asked why he said "Because it's there." Somehow everyone was happy with him putting his and other lives in danger and spending lots of money with that kind of explanation.

Why do I try to emulate the look of a woman? "Because I want to." Somehow that is unacceptable. So while the seekers are debating, I'll be changing.

[rachaelsloane]

I was about to write about a similar question and then saw yours. I do not know why not am I about to lose sleep over it. We all have different reasons for doing what we do, but what I do know is that we receive some form of satisfaction or desire to be accepted as a woman, which is all that matters in the end.
The best,
Rachael

[Crissy Kay]

IMO its our gender"s search for perfection!!!

[ReineD]

Vanessa, your points may well fit some of the CDers here. But I disagree there is no such thing as a woman trapped in a man's body. There are people who are transsexual.

Back to the people who define themselves as CDers .. I've also often wondered how much an obsession for the girlier aspects of the CDing (the *thrill*, sexual or otherwise, of wearing frilly panties, bras, heels, pencil skirts, soft sweaters, or what have you - even if someone doesn't identify as a fetish dresser) is, as you say, rooted in a desire for something that is appealing to men and that they desire. It is commonly believed that men in general have a much higher sex drive than women do:

http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/se...-women-compare

Your theory makes sense as to why the CDing might begin (obviously this does not apply to the TSs). And, as brain chemicals are released (the dopamine) that produces such a high when connections are made between the sexual gratification and the wearing of feminine things, it also makes sense for the brain to become permanently rewired, so that it associates the CDing with pleasurable feelings in general or a sense of well-being that continues to last a lifetime, well after the sexual component has faded ...

... in much the same way that an intense, sexually charged, higher than a kite, first flush of romance leads to falling in love, and then over many years settles into the more comfortable emotional bonding between married people.

I'm no expert and what I say is pure conjecture, of course.

I think it is a little demeaning to think all I need to do is go through a 12 step program and be rid of my feminine self.

That's true. Gender Dysphoria in itself is not a compulsion and it certainly isn't something that should be addressed in any 12 Step program.

BUT ... a 12 Step program might help with the shopping compulsions:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/f...mes-a-problem_.

Or compulsions for porn:
http://men.webmd.com/guide/is-pornography-addictive

If you think that make-up and clothing doesn't fulfil something in a woman, ask one of your female work colleagues why she just had to buy herself that new dress, or new nail varnish or whatever it might be, and ask yourself why we women love shopping for clothes and make-up so much if we don't find it fulfilling.

In my opinion, the women who buy into this (myself included to a small degree) are victims of consumerism more than anything else. We have impossibly high feminine beauty standards in our culture, thrust upon us from every direction. Personally, I wear the pretty things and I'm interested in looking my best because of the pressure I feel that if I don't do this, I won't measure up to societal expectations of what I should be or how I should look. And, having been raised in a society that provides positive feedback for pretty women, I also have been conditioned to associate looking good with feeling good about myself ... in public. But to tell you the truth, when I'm alone at home with no expectation that anyone will see me, it would never even occur to me to put on makeup or a cute outfit. I just get dressed in comfy clothes when I'm alone.

[EllieOPKS]

I have thought about this subject a lot. I Think there is a segment of the cd community that is like me. I like to cd because I want to try and emulate something that I find to be very sexy and very appealing to me. I love to look at a woman in a beautiful dress, sexy hose, just the right make up and stylish hair. I know I could never be as appealing but in my minds eye, I have some of the attributes when I dress like them

[shayleetv]

I have no idea why, it's just is there. Sometimes I think it's a conditioned response to all that crossdressing I did with my sister and my mother during my Cub Scout years. You know like Pavlov's dog kind of a thing. Ring the bell and my mouth waters just for the chance to dress. All I know is that my personality has a lot more feminine qualities the average male. I found that out when taking a psychology class at the University. Everyone who took the class had to take a personality test. No names were on the test, they just gave you a number to look up the results if you wanted the results. I had a note on mine that said the professor would like to talk to me about my results and gave a phone number to call him at. As a result I decided to delve more into my personality. A lot of things were revealed to me about this side of me and my need to represent myself in a feminine manner. He told me some other things as well and what would have cost me a about $500 back in 1964 didn't cost me anything. But I did have to release the contents of his study for research.( My name was kept from the study.)

[Julogden]

Hi Vanessa,

Some of what you said makes sense, but this part I particularly disagree with:

"I don't think anyone of us is "trapped" in a males body, but are trapped in the great feeling of wearing something taboo, women's clothes, silicone breasts, v-string vaginas, they all feel great. We chase the feeling, and naturl women don't ever experience that "high" and fortunately that "high" never goes away, and it is harmless, and we persue it to whatever extent it leads us to believe we can, are able to, and should."

Gender dysphoria, i.e the feeling of being trapped in the wrong body is a very real thing. Just because you haven't experienced doesn't mean that it isn't real. You're making the mistake of thinking that everyone is thinking like you, and we simply are not, our reasons for dressing vary all over the place.

When I was a very young child, I prayed to God every night to turn me into a girl while I slept, and that had nothing to do with your reasons that you cited. I dress as a woman in order to bring my appearance more in line with how I feel inside. The clothes give me comfort, they make me feel "right".

And there are indeed some females who love their girly clothes, makeup etc. and would never dream of going out without their girly stuff.

And Reine, you said "I've also often wondered how much an obsession for the girlier aspects of the CDing (the *thrill*, sexual or otherwise, of wearing frilly panties, bras, heels, pencil skirts, soft sweaters, or what have you - even if someone doesn't identify as a fetish dresser) is, as you say, rooted in a desire for something that is appealing to men and that they desire."

I'm sure that's true in some cases, but I don't think it's true for all. I think that largely, many of us are so enthusiastic about the girlier aspects because those girly things are as far from masculine things as we can get. To a degree, some of us dress to deny our masculinity, so wearing the ultra-girly stuff is possibly a way to deny that we're men, IMO. It's what feels right to us.

But this is all kind of a waste of time, really. Does it really matter why we dress the way we do? It all boils down to doing what makes us happy, and why do we need to understand or justify it as long as we aren't hurting anyone? I would say it matters if we feel that our dressing has become an addiction and is out of control, that probably needs some attention, but other than that, I don't think we should waste any more time speculating about "why".

Carol

[ReineD]

I'm sure that's true in some cases, but I don't think it's true for all.

I agree with you. One thing I've learned on this site .... one size does not fit all.

About the trend to ask *why* here, I think it's natural for people to go through that phase. Eventually the individual will have obtained answers for him or herself and will stop asking why.

[2SpeedTranny]

There are glipses of hope - for example, Andrej Pejic's wearing femme attire at Jean Paul Gaultier's men's fashion show.

Sorry to say, but I don't think Andre Pejic on the runway in a dress has the slightest damn thing to do with fashion freedom, trans-whatever acceptance, crossdressing, or anything but the typical modus vivendi of the "fashion elite" who foist all manner of self-aggrandizing claptrap on the public whilst secretly thumbing their noses at the nouveaux-riche idiots who lap up their bile.

In other words, Gaultier found a pretty boy -- a really pretty one at that -- to parade before the public, and say, "look at my beautiful woman here... don't you love her?... wouldn't you **** her?... it's a MAN!!!! Suckers!!!"

Mark my words. Poor Andre from Serbia will have been chewed up and spit out by the fashion world within 5 years at the most. Hope he saves his money and invests in real estate or something.

This is exactly the same kind of thing that similarly arrogant ****s like "architect" Daniel Libeskind vomit all over the populace, only shorter lived. They like to rub the public's nose in their (armpits), call it art, and see how many of them believe it.

However, lucky for us, we don't have to depend on these freaks to change the world. Ghandi said it: "be the change you wish to see in the world." BE. Just go do your thing, and have no fear. Sure, people will laugh at you, but generally, they grow tired of laughing at the same thing and look for new entertainment. I think a worthy -- and easily achievable goal -- is for John Doe to see a tranny and say... "Meh."

Let's see... I was going to tie this back to the OP somehow...

Oh yes. I've been asked many times by many people why I dress like a girl (and a few other questions as well, unrelated, but the answer and end result are the same). My answer is simple: I like to. I find it an enjoyable activity. And I'm always greeted with the "Ah" and a nod. Okay. Question answered. And really, that's enough for most anyone. Why do you like football? Why do you build model cars? I dunno, I just do. That's good enough.

So there it is. I do this because I like it, and it needn't go deeper than that. We may have been given the gifts of psychoanalysis and self-analysis by Freud and Jung, but like all gifts, they are half curse... and as such, are far over-used.

[Julogden]

2SpeedTranny,

I tend to be a bit less cynical about Gautier's thinking behind choosing Andre Pejic as his model of the moment. I think he was chosen mainly because he's new, beautiful enough to pull it off and would get people talking about Gaultier.

Androgynous fashion madels have been around for a long time, but they've primarily been female. There was a brief flurry of DQ's as runway models several years back, but for the most part, they weren't naturally femininely beautiful like Andre is.

IMO, Andre is sort of the male Twiggy, if you're old enough to know who she is. She shook things up back in the '60's because of her supposed androgynous look, and she was pretty much the start of primarily using boyishly beautiful female fashion models on the runways, if memory serves. Twiggy's modeling career lasted about 4 years, Andre will probably be lucky to last that long, as he's at an age where he's probably going to become more masculine looking every year, if he doesn't fiddle with his hormones. Hopefully, he has a good financial counselor. I'm sure he's making enough money to keep him living well for the rest of his life, if he's smart.

I do agree, we shouldn't have to justify what we do to others beyond saying it's because we like to do this, it's what makes us happy.

Carol

[Misti]

...I do agree, we shouldn't have to justify what we do to others beyond saying it's because we like to do this, it's what makes us happy. Carol

That makes 2 of us, Carol. I'm sitting here at my computer, shaving my legs while reading all of this "stuff," and thinking to myself, "Who cares? You know what, I'm doing what makes me happy!"