Maybe rather than researching tons upon tons of information the best strategy is to make it out like it's not a big deal.
"You dress like a woman!"
"So?"
"So? You dress like a woman!"
Make them explain why it's a big deal rather than try to rationalize it.
You see, that just strikes me as cruel. Here we're going to burden someone else with our "problem" and then not give them the benefit of an explanation? In fact, we're going to make them defend themselves when they have no idea what they're dealing with?

Certainly, there are some people who don't deserve an explanation. The clerk at Victoria's Secret has no need to understand why I'm buying these panties, just take my money and I'll be on my happy way. Loved ones, family, friends, and other people we intend to build a relationship with, that we intend to live our lives with deserve to know why we are doing what we're doing and what it means in terms of the relationship and it's our job to tell them because it's what we've brought to the table.

I'm sorry, I maybe shouldn't be critical, but the approach of making our "problem" someone else's problem is irresponsible and inconsiderate and will just lead to much more pain for those we do it to.