The rampant illogic that is flowing in this thread astounds me! Let's see if we can straighten out some of it:

Let's take one typical CD: Here she is, completely open with her SO, respecting her SO's limitations (which might include not announcing her feminine self to the world), and yet, some in this thread see this somehow as a negative effect on the perception of the transgendered!!! ???

HELLOOOOO!!! If this CD is completely closeted, NO ONE knows about it, and therefore has absolutely NO impact on the population in general!! They are completely transparent! Only actions IN PUBLIC can affect a public perception!

Sheesh.

Secondly, someone who is completely transparent to the public cannot be faulted for anything negative. Effectively, in the public eye they don't exist. No one...and I do mean no one...has the right to tell them how to run their lives or even cast a negative glance in their direction. They are hurting no one!

In fact, those who are unhappy with closeted CDs are being very effective about helping them to STAY in the closet by being negative about their decision to stay there. It would only be encouragement, and not castigation, that will help more CDs to venture out into the public arena.

So, what do we have: We have a population of closeted CDs who hurt no one, and we have that same potential army of people who might make us a little more visible in the population (hmmm, how are we visible when we wish to "pass" .... hmmm???) but who will only be helped to go into the public eye if they are not scolded about their choices.

Thus, why not say something like, "I fully support your right and decision to keep your transgendered nature as a private part of your life. I do hope that you can continue to help shape people's opinions about transgenderism in a positive way, and if the desire to venture out into the pulic arena strikes you, I hope you feel you have the support of all of us to do so."

Might that not work better?

tina