I remember puberty and being unhappy about the way my body was developing and I guess I didn't want to turn into a guy. I think this is when I started cross-dressing, but didn't understand it as that at the time... we are talking about decades ago. It has taken me a long long time to begin to understand all this and most of my life I have been a male with a great family, a great wife and mother etc.. but it was always lurking in the shadows... now I accept it. Is there a sexual element... yes, and increasingly. I feel far more sexually 'aware' when in Kaz mode and I have to admit it the feeling of some of this 'stuff' turns me on... the actual clothing and the associated 'ideas'. I also just more comfortable wearing women's clothes with no sexual or shpould I say sensual element at all... the feelings vary continually. The more I dress the more I wonder what it must be like to actually be a woman and have fantasies... does this make it a fetish? or pervy? Or is this part of understanding the duality of our gendered condition as human beings?
Men are supposed to be sexually aroused by attractive women (by that I mean the clothes, the perfume, the make-up, etc..) - there is an industry built up around this - so if we want to dress like this it must be pervy, becaue we want top attract a male partner, a fetish... whatever? But why do real girls do it? To atrract a male partner? Or to just look as good as they want to within what is available? Women dress in great clothes primarily because they want to, because they like the way they look and feel in them, NOT to attract a mate.
I think our problem as a community is that some of us ARE fetishists, and possibly even wierdos at one end of the spectrum, and at the other are proud/confused to be men in skirts because they just feel great!
And then somewhere in the middle lay the vast majority!
