Is It OK to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?

[mymysterycd]

Am I strange or is this common?: Everytime I'm dressed, I desire being with a man. I remember going out on a date one night, and since I don't dress in public he picked me up in guy-mode. As I was in guys cloth I just chatted with the guy as we were heading to his place...I had the least of attraction to him..it was just two guys riding around. Then, when we got to his place I dressed up and became Lisa, and from then on I was just the total girl. When we went out to our date I was such a lady and felt so good being admired by him. I was all over him and it was such a romantic date. Does anyone else feel this way? If you will like to know more about me just visit my blog at mymysterylisa.com. Thank you.kisses...Lisa

[juno]

It is very common for people to have a female personality that differs from their male personality. Having multiple personalities is very common, such as people that become jerks when driving. That is why "multiple personality disorder" was renamed to "dissociative identity disorder", which is where the identities don't know each other.

For many people, that personality difference can be enough to include a different gender preference. My female self definitely has more interest in men. If I was not married, I am not sure how far it would go.

[VioletJourney]

You wouldn't believe how common it is. My theory? CDing gives you a different perspective on gender that breaks your inner "taboo" against homosexuality and makes you heteroflexible at best.

[Pythos]

I become lesbian when I am dressed. LOL

[Marissa]

Lisa, with that pose, anything I said before just went out the door you look like a very well toned woman.. and its okay to have those feelings.. many do.. its a persona we take on..and with it comes everything else... some are drawn to only women or other cd/ts..some to men.. so if that is what you feel..its okay..be who you want to be..when you want to be.. that is called 'freedom of expression'..

Hugs,
Marissa

[Aeron]

I become lesbian when I am dressed. LOL

I see it that way, myself. I've never been attracted to men, whather I'm dressed femme or not. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Rachel Morley]

Is It OK to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?

I think this is known as "bi when dressed" .. personally it's never interested me, but I think I understand that the ultimate "accessory" to being a T-girl when dressed (better than any purse) is to have a man on your arm.

[DebbieL]

The short answer is that this is not unusual at all. There are a number of dynamics involved.

Personally, I didn't really enjoy sex with ANYONE unless I was dressed. Having sex as Rex was a betrayal of my "True Self". When I did have sex as a man, with a woman, I could get an erection but I didn't climax. Sometimes, I would go deeply into fantasy world and imagine myself dressed up with the girl I was with while she was dressed up. That would be enough to get me over the top, but not terribly satisfying.

Getting dressed up and being seduced as a woman, whether by a woman or a man, was validation of my "True Self". In reality, I had split my personality into the male identity I was forced to be, even though most of the time I didn't want to be a boy. Because of this I had to lie, to pretend to be something I didn't want to be, I had to try to play with other boys, even though I knew that most of the time I would end up getting physically abused by the other boys. Eventually, I even started taking theater courses and literally learned how to "Act" like a man by creating and enacting male characters. From about 12 to 17, I wasn't very good at acting like a man, and most men, and women, assumed that I was gay. Men would try to come on to me, and I let them know that I was not interested, but I might be able to introduce them to someone who would be. Soon I was the social director for the gay community at my high school.

The onnly tme my feminine personality would come out was when I was very inntoxicated. At that point, I went from the bashful boy to the ****ty girl, who liked girls. All of the girls figured out that if a girl wore a skirt, and waited until I looked them in the eye through the corner, and gave them the "****ty smile", all she had to do was ask me to help her find her coat and she could have my head up her skirt until she had multiple orgasms and wanted me to stop.

When I finally told Leslie that I was transgendered, and she seemed to accept it, I could be honest with her, and I wanted to marry her. When she decided she didn't like my feminine side, I had to go back to lying and acting.

When I finally started going out in public, and started going to dances and clubs, it was much more exciting. By then I was seeing a therapist who was taking me through the Benjemin process. He gave me assignments. He had me go to 12 step dances, gay bars, straight bars, and lesbian bars. There were only two bars in Colorado that had lipstick lesbians, but they weren't interested in me.

What was great about the gay bars that had cross-dressers, was that there were men who were more than eager and wanted me. I loved their attention, the validation, the affirmation of my femininity, and knowing that I was desired and could have sex if I wanted it. There were a few times when I a really attractive man would make a nice offer, like a ride on his bike, and I knew that if I had been drinking or drugging, I would have gone with him in a heartbeat.

Eventually, I discovered that bisexual women really enjoyed Debbie, and that they also enjoyed being seduced as women but having the security and stability of men. I could offer both. Ironically, many of the bisexual women I dated were "tom-boys" and were more aggressive, more sexually aggressive, had lower voices, and had a bit of extra weight. Ironically, they enjoyed getting "dressed up" for sex. Wearing a bit of lingerie was a great way for them to draw attention away from their stretch marks, the extra weight, or breasts they considered to be either too small or too large, and other "imperfections". They felt sexy, and they made me feel sexy.

The nice thing about dating men as a woman is that you can have easy sex, the men are eager to please, and they want you to keep your lingerie on. On the other hand, it's harder to find men who are looking for long-term commitments. They might want Debbie in the bedroom, but they didn't want to have to take her to dinner and a show. Or most other public places for that matter.

[Barbara Dugan]

I crave being with a guy all the time but is way lot more fun dressed or undressed as a girl

[SweetIonis]

It's okay as long as you don't pick up the soap if you drop it! LMAO!!!!

[Mistybtm]

Oh yes very common I have been with guys dressed and not dressed, for me it feels more natural when I am dressed up but i like it both ways as well.

[Tina B.]

Is It OK to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?
Well lets study this, 1.are you married? 2. do you have a girlfriend? 3. Do you feel shame,or guilt, after having been with a guy?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it's probably wrong, but if you answered no to all three questions, what could be wrong about it, have a ball, oops, no pun intended.

[Vieja]

We come in all flavors. I am strictly a ladies man but at my age I wouldn't be much use to any of them.


Vieja

[Sheren Kelly]

Consider that you may not be turned on by the guy as much as by being affirmed in a feminine role.
(That is to say you don't crave sex with a man as much as you want to experience a relationshipp as a female.)

[christina s]

I guess it's safe to admit this here. This is one of my biggest fantasies to be the girl in the bedroom .

[Schatten Lupus]

What isn't OK about it to begin with? I think having sex with a guy having guy parts myself would be kinda awkward. Not in a grossout or uncomfortable awkward, but just weird. But once that issue is taken care of I think it would be awesome.

[janet1234]

When dressed I occasionally find myself morphing into a horny female persona.
It's fun.

[Stephenie S]

Of course it's OK.

That is unless you're married, have kids, or you are in a committed relationship of some kind. Then it becomes NOT OK pretty darn quick.

Many macho guys harbor secret homosexual fantasies. This is perfectly fine. There are NO rules until you make a commitment to another person (such as marriage).

If you are not in another committed relationship go have a good time! And PLEASE don't feel guilty about it.

Stephie

[Kittyagain]

To me the defining difference is can you fall in love with another man as one gay man would with another gay man. A bisexual person accepts sex with another man but is incapable of falling in love with a man. Just always good to know where you are.

Kitty

[Aprilrain]

What isn't OK about it to begin with? I think having sex with a guy having guy parts myself would be kinda awkward. Not in a grossout or uncomfortable awkward, but just weird. But once that issue is taken care of I think it would be awesome.

It's not as bad as you might think. just sayin!

[sterling12]

If you want us to give you an Approval. The Short Answer is probably "No!" We don't spend much time passing judgment on what others do or don't do. Many will express "An Opinion," but you will have to decide what is right for yourself, irregardless of what we opine.

However, there is one very large Caveat, and typically around here you will catch a lot of Hell for it. If you are married or in a relationship with someone, most of The People around here would give you a very large ration of manure about that. Why???? Because that's being Unfaithful. Lots and lots of Folks around here won't care for that, and they will be quick to tell you so.

So, if you want some of us to opinion "Yay or Nay," please give us a bit more background.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Anna Bee]

It's more than okay, it's fabulous

[docrobbysherry]

If you want us to give you an Approval. The Short Answer is probably "No!" We don't spend much time passing judgment on what others do or don't do. Many will express "An Opinion," but you will have to decide what is right for yourself, irregardless of what we opine.
Peace and Love, Joanie

As far as "approval", what Joanie said!

As far as understanding becoming bi just by changing your clothes? I probably never will! But, that's MY problem, Mystery, NOT YOURS!

[whowhatwhen]

I guess it's safe to admit this here. This is one of my biggest fantasies to be the girl in the bedroom .

Same here, OP it's definitely fine.

[StarrOfDelite]

It's definitely fabulous fun to be undressed as a girl with a man. As other posters have noted, it's common for CD's who desire men sexually to not feel aroused by them when dressed in DRAB. I've found myself looking at guys in stores and wondering what they're like, what do they look like naked, are they nice people, and stuff like that, and I daydream about them, but always in my daydreams it's Ingrid (my girl name) who is with them.

There is nothing wrong about being a man with another man, mind you, but, as Barb M. said, it's more enjoyable as a girl.