Stacey,
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' I would like to maybe guess that if your wife flung your eye colour out at you in an argument it would just seem ridiculous, right? Regardless of what you do with your clothing, I would like for you to try and learn how to accept and love yourself as the person you are.
So often when we fight with the people we love, we do or say things because we know it is a sore point with the other person... I'm not sure exactly why your wife brings your dressing up in fights, but what do you think would happen the next time you fight if you were to look her straight in the eye and say, 'I'm truly sorry that I didn't understand or accept myself for who and what I am enough to tell you when I should have. That was a mistake and you have every right to feel upset about it. But this is a part of me that isn't going to go away and it doesn't mean for one minute that I love you any less. You don't have to like this, you don't have to see it if you don't want to but you need to know that it's a part of me.'
I think sometimes one of the things GGs are worried about (besides honesty issues, and getting their heads around gender in ways they've often never had to think about) is that they'll lose what their man represents to them - presumably strength, dependability, and that partner they can lean on. It's important to have both people in a couple realize that anyone can have those traits. Hopefully having a little bit of confidence in yourself will help convince your wife that the core being of your person is still someone who meets her needs.
