I still think that this has to go into how you are viewing femininity.
That is a great part of your post Shan

I feel i view femininity differently too. Not all of us see femininity as a soft, frilly, emotion filled, mentality.

I think there has to be a FEW people out there that could balance their expression of their feminine nature without ANY clothing involvement. I see this a lot with husbands that stay at home and help care for the kids. These men that I know are actually very feminine in their care and actions...and, how I have learned to identify feminine versus masculine roles.
Gawd! i could hug you right now! What an awesome statement of an accepting perception.

-Donni-