Quote Originally Posted by Nelson View Post
If she has been trying to accept you for three years, she is strong and I sense that both of you are very confused. I agree with everyone who has said you both need make sure this is the issue, but be prepared if it is exactly as she says.

Compromise is another word slow death. Move out and see if you can remain friends, perhaps with the pressure off she can work around her objections.

Best of luck to you both
Compromise is ONLY a slow death if you think you should get everything YOU want out of the relationship and cding. Marriage is about compromise, always has been, always will be. Nobody gets everything they want in a marriage. You may compromise about where to eat, where to live, how many kids to have, where to get married, where to honeymoon, vacation, retire, etc,etc,etc.

Counseling can help you. IF you both want it. It can help her figure out WHAT about the cding bothers her. She may find out it has nothing to do with cding. (my problems stem from being abandoned my whole life, everybody picking someone else to care about/for more) That doesn't mean it will go away, but you can work around that. And if she knows it...well, lets just say it puts a whole 'nother angle in there. But it will also help her learn how to communicate better. You too. But, she needs to learn how to tell you how she feels, without worrying about if you're hurt or not. And you need to learn to let her tell you. And realize she is not trying to hurt you. These are just her feelings. There are a long list of things that I won't go into here.

Reine is right, she will have to be the one to change. And it may make her VERY angry. That she has to do all the changing, all the stretching, all the work. Give her a reason for all of that. Treat her like a princess. Date nights. A new outfit once in awhile.

But, IMO, the feeling of wanting to crossdress is not a choice. But actually dressing IS a choice. In the sense that you have a CHOICE in whether you dress everynight or once a month. You need to learn to control the dressing and not let the dressing control you. I wish you luck.