Question to CDs only, from Anonymous GG

[Tina B.]

We're busted, it is a great big slumber party on the INTERNET, that's why we are here. We get to gossip, talk about silly things like clothes and make up, how we feel about boys, girls and everything else. After all most of us didn't get to do slumber party's when we where teens.
Now as to why I dress, I don't know, and I just can't make something up. It's something I have done since I was a small child, do I want to be a women, heck no, just playing dress up is work enough for me, and it's just a part time thing, the rest of the time, it would just be silly. Do I admire women, no more or less than I do men, it's who you are not what you are. do I think it's greener on the other side of the fence, for some it is, for some, it's a lot harder, there again, it's situational, not gender related. All I can really tell you about why I do this is, if I don't I get depressed, resentful, and angry deep inside, and I become someone that I can't stand, and neither could anyone else. My wife and I have both come to realize it's just something that we live with, so we can live together in harmony. It works for us!
Tina B.

[cassandra54]

On occasion, the FAB forum mods will receive a request from an anonymous GG to post a question in the MtF forum. I've received such a request this evening:
*Originally Posted by Anonymous GGTo Crossdressers:*
I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.*
Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.*
On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side...

EDIT - The GG in question just contacted me in response to post #3, to say this question is indeed asked to Crossdressers and not TSs. The body parts thread she refers to is a thread in the MtF and not the TS section. There are many responses, mostly from CDs:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...asts-or-Vagina

And also, she refers to the many posts throughout the MtF section where CDs say they are hetero in guy mode, but they want to be with men when dressed.

This is a great thread and a great question. I have posted and responded to threads with similar content. I have some good input, or at least i think so and I will try to be brief. Let me preface this by referring to a conversation my SO and I had just this weekend. She usually dresses in jeans and a top. When she was in the corporate world, it was dress slacks, jackets, skirts and hose. She said she did this for many years and mentioned things like always having spare hose in her desk just in case and how uncomfortable this was in the summer. I told her that this was all new to me. But given the choice of wearing a dress or a skirt or wearing jeans and a top, well to me there is no comparison. I embrace the additional femininity that a dress or a skirt affords me. But the dresses and skirts are not always worn with hose and I do wear just jeans and a top sometimes. I am not always going to the sexy or glam look. I am trying to develop what my style would be if I dressed all the time, which would include casual and dress, pants, skirt, dresses, hose, socks, tights, and of course lingerie. Sunday morning, I wore a sweater and jeans, along with panties, a bra and breast forms and of course my wig, earrings and just some lipstick as I had on makeup from the night before. We decided to go to an early movie, and I changed. I was still wearing my jeans, but put on men's underwear, washed all the makeup from the night before off of my face and went out as my male self. I don't underdress.
So with that in mind, here are some of my responses.

1. I think a bigger question is: How many of us dress just to look like a woman or how many of us dress to look like a woman and wish to experience life as a woman as much as we can with physical limitations and try to feel feminine?
2. For me it is the latter of the two. I would never consider conventional SRS, hormones or anything like that. I consider myself a no-op TG. However if there was say a transplant that could make me biologically identical to a GG, I might consider that.
3. It's not always magic when I dress. It depends on how the rest of my life is going. Dressing and acting like a woman takes a serious and conscious effort. I don't always wear pretty lingerie or hose. Real GGs don't. And like them , just like on Sunday morning I wore just basic beige cotton panties, and a beige bra. A lot of people here talk about what it's like to be a woman, be feminine, but I think the real test is to see how you can be or feel that way with just simple things.
4. I've become aware over the years that I don't fit in well with other men. I've discovered that I am probably androgynous. I don't hate my life as a man, but rather I enjoy and make good use of the many ways I am different. If I never dressed or thought about it, I would still be happy and well adjusted as a man. However because I became aware that I have some feminine traits, mannerisms and habits, I am overjoyed. I have a different way to experience part of my life now. Like I said, it's not always magic when I dress. The rest of my life still remains in place. I have a job, bills to pay and a relationship with my SO to deal with, along with all of my other wants and desires.
5. At times in my life, I was in a gay relationship, had bisexual experiences and live most of my life hetero. Anymore, I just consider myself just sexual. I live with my SO, but am free to have playmates, either male or female. Since I've really come out as Cassandra, my desire for this is not as strong as it used to be. I've found that most me who say the are bi, or want to play with CDs are seriously messed up to put it nicely, are animals or just perverts. Women don't really understand, but I am hopefully. So these days, I am open, but very, very selective to whom I share my body with. I think this in itself is a feminine thing that has develped.

So yeah, maybe I get it or maybe I don't. What say you?

[Sara Jessica]

I can read and I won't make this about me. However, the first thing that came to mind as I read this question was a recent situation a friend of mine found herself in. If you had to paint her with a particular brush, she self-ID's as a CD'er and she made some comments to which I replied as follows:

...You may say that you could never know what it is to be a woman but your heart betrays that sentiment. I do think you know more than you give yourself credit for...

My point is that even when someone might claim not to know a thing about what it is to be a woman, there are subtleties under the surface which are simply part of us. These things are not so much traits one can learn, the seeds must be present in order to be cultivated should they be recognized.

It may not be the complete package of the feminine experience that only natal females can know but still, there are personality traits, habits, expressions that if natural come as close to knowing what it is to be a woman as a lot of us can ever hope to get.

[NicoleScott]

I've read and re-read the Anonymous post and still have trouble seeing a legitimate question there. It strikes me as rhetorical: you'll never know what it's really like to be a woman; it's just one big dressup fantasy.

[Marleena]

Okay, I'll bite but this only applies to me. I respect and admire women, always have. I'm only interested in women in either mode.

Cding is a need for me I need to do it. I started CDing as a kid like most of us. I only recently embraced it because I'm tired of fighting it. It won't go away. I'll compare it to a gambling addiction only for comparison. A gambler has something tuggin away at them to gamble. Hard core gamblers think about it all the time. They will sneak around and find money to keep enjoying themselves. BUT gambling can be cured usually, therapists say this is with us for good.

I don't understand the urge either. I just go with it now. I want to be feminine when I dress, fully dressing is the best way for most of us. I do not want real boobs, forms are fine for me. In guy mode I'm your typical male.

Only a genetic female knows what it takes to be a real woman because they are one. Grass greener on the other side? I don't know or care I do what's right for me. If people don't get it oh well... Too many don't get it so we have to hide.

That's it. I want to keep it short.

[IamSara]

Dear Anonymous GG,

First of all, thank you for your question. Such questions produce a good opportunity for us CDers to reflect and gather understanding about what we do and why we do it, and then share some of those findings.

I think I understand where you are coming from, because even I, as a CDer, am bothered by some of these threads that seem to focus only on the trivial, frivolous and morphologic aspects of being female. Though I sometimes feel differently from some of my peers, crossdressing is not a science. Different people pursue it for different reasons. And in all fairness, no single reason is better or more legitimate than the next. All are equally valid.

Perhaps, to better address your questions, I should tell you a bit about myself. I started dressing at age 5 or 6. I fantasized about growing up and developing into a woman. Through puberty I understood it wouldn't happen. So, I embraced my gender the best I could and tried to act manly, as was expected of me. Having to sustain that outer masculine shell led to a big disconnect, full of anguish, confusion and self-loathing.

Through my teens and twenties these gender issues would come back to haunt me on occasion, but I'd just shove them back inside the closet, as I had done countless times. Until the closet door finally bust open, spilling everything in my face, and I was forced to deal with it. After some period of analysis paralysis, I was able to educate myself enough to first understand and then accept my life. It was either this or else.

So, you see, it's not a big slumber party to me. There is no choice involved, as I was born this way and can't help it. I'm not ready for transitioning and don't know if I'll ever be. So, CDing provides me with temporary relief to that eternal anguish, by bringing me closer to being the woman I was meant to be from the start. Do I know what's it like being a GG? Certainly not, but I'd give everything I have to find out and never look back.

Bottom line, it is not a matter of thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, but of knowing that, whichever side is greener, my grass is sitting on the WRONG side of that fence.

I can imagine this may be a difficult time for you, one of many questions and not enough answers, so I hope this helps. Please let me know if there's anything else you would like to know and I'll be happy to delve into it.

Take care and be well.

I could not have said it better than this.. As in Gabriella's case I realized in my early on in my life what I should have been. I also have repressed these feelings all my life and acted as macho as I can. The little bit of time that I can dress and really feel comfortable is my escape into what I should have been. I struggle sometimes not wanting this in my life at all and to just make it go away. That isn't going to happen and we all know that including my wife. It is a struggle since I have but my wife and my kids realize that part of my makeup and the way I treat them is due to the feminine side of me. The man side of me tends to be a real jerk.
I guess I kind of got off track there but in answer to your question I would say that I am taking advantage of being acting and being a woman by wearing the clothes because that is as close as I can come to being a woman. Sad but true. I will not give up my life as a man because I love my wife dearly and will not ruin that relationship by taking the next steps to becoming a transgendered person.

[Amy Lynn3]

ReineD, May I suggest the anonymous gg read the post..Something I Want Take For Granted Again. It is written by another gg and it expresses what most crossdressers feel and seek. If one looks deep enough into her post they will get a better understanding of what crossdressing is all about. I hope that is what the anonymous poster seeks, rather than just sour grapes.

[Jenniferathome]

Dear Anonymous GG,

You will get a hundred viewpoints on your question. Like all things, there will be a bell curve of responses. Mine will fall into the mainstream, I think. Firstly, I do not want to be a woman. Occasionally, I like to express myself in a female persona. It makes me feel good to try on outfits and look "pretty." I suspect, in the very same way that any woman would. When dressed, I do not think I am a woman I simply like the look that I can achieve and love the clothing styles, fabrics, colors, etc. I have no desire to be with a man. I think that is quite a minority among crossdressers and likely they are homosexual crossdressers who have not yet come to grips with homosexuality. What I told my wife is that I know I dress as an idealized or sterotypical woman. Hey, I like dresses. Mostly I like the transformation. Once transformed, I simply feel pretty, a feeling I can never have as a guy. Nothing more.

[GeminaRenee]

Since I am not yet entirely familiar with the machinations of this particular forum, and don't know how to break the OP into individual quotes, I will just have to commence in barbaric fashion. Please bear with me, I feel I've got something to say...

"I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman."

Is there a universal definition? Do you know what it's like to be a Somalian grandmother, or a young girl growing up in Taipei? Everyone's life is constructed from their frame of reference - your definition of a woman is based upon the various factors and experiences unique to your life. What "womanhood" means to my femme self,Kali Brooke, is of course, also going to be different than your perspective on the topic - because Kali Brooke is a man, was raised a man, and has always viewed womanhood from the outside. I have no idea of what it means to have a uterus, give birth, have a period, etc, and nor do I want to have those uniquely female experiences. Kali just wants to dress up prettily, wear soft things, and enjoy the everlasting challenge of trying to turn something largely unfeminine, and not particularly pretty, into something that is those things from time to time. That is what crossdressing means to me. I'm also sure that this definition can't be applied to plenty of other t-girls. As human beings, we're all at different spots along a continuum, and a multidimensional one at that. Cxing is just a way for me to embrace what I see and enjoy in life.

"It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums."

Hmmm, is it more than that? Again, we're running into those pesky definitions. According to the strict, theoretical definition of a CD, it's really not much more than that. But let's start divesting ourselves of definitions, because they're far too narrow to really encapsulate the broadness of the human experience. I'm sure a lot of girls on here who ID as CD experience some gender dysphoria, some desire to go beyond the outward accoutrements of it all. By that same token, there are unquestionably other people who ID as CD, yet are content to simply throw on a pair of dirty panties and a pair of L'Eggs and call it good. We all exist on a continuum. For me, it's mostly about the clothes, the makeup. So what? That's me. And I like your analogy of a slumber party... that's what the Kali in me wants: girlfriends to laugh and giggle with and have silly fun with, and maybe make out with when no-one is looking. As a CD, for me, it's about fun and superficiality. Do you know what it takes to be Kali Brooke? (;

"Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc."

I don't know if I believe your answer. We're all imitators in one way or another. Even when we think we're being unique (and maybe we are, in a relative sense), we're still taking cues from others, whether overtly or covertly. I see what you mean; I may admire Mohandas Gandhi from a philosophical perspective, but that doesn't mean I'm going to dress like him. I don't even know how he dresses! But, I absolutely fawn over the way Kim Kardashian looks, so if I see her in US Weekly wearing the hottest pair of tan platform pumps I've ever seen, then I'm going to take a cue and go after a pair myself. It's all superficial, but so what? I liked the analogy of following a sports team. I may put on a Detroit Lions jersey, but I'll never be mistaken for one of the Detroit Lions, nor would that be my intent in wearing it. I'm expressing in interest in my interpretation of the subject. Make sense?

"On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side..."

No, I don't. I'm well aware that surviving & thriving as a woman in today's world is a complex thing that's not all fun, games, & lipgloss. Nor am I one of those "male apologists" that believe that women are somehow the superior gender. Believe me, I've been exposed to some awful cattiness, backstabbing, and passive aggressive behavior on the part of women. Earlier this year, I was involved with a girl who was, in retrospect, pure, selfish evil. Fact is, people from all genders can be good or bad, wonderful or complete asshats. Personally, I like the grass on my side of the fence: the side where I can watch football, spend all day taking photographs, or maybe slip into a babydoll & some thigh highs. It's a big yard, with a nice privacy fence. (;

In sum, I don't totally agree with everything you've said, nor would I deny that you've made some valid suppositions. I can only answer for myself, of course. I'm sure lots of other CD girls would find my interest in boyshorts & body glitter to be entirely vapid. So what? That's what I enjoy, that's where I fall on the continuum of things. So don't judge, don't hate, and do everyone a favor and toss out the word "definition," except perhaps in relation to eyebrows. Anywhere else in the CD/TG/TS/TV/DQ/GQ/Etc community, it's not doing anyone any favors!

[sissystephanie]

I was born a man, and unless something really changes I will die a man! Yes, I do crossdress simply because I love the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. I started wearing my sisters panties at age 6, and have crossdressed most of the time since then. But I have NEVER wanted to be a woman, and have never had sex with anyone other my late wife!! I like to dress as a woman, but that is as far as it goes!! BTW, with my wife no longer available to do the work I no longer wear makeup or a wig when I go out dressed enfemme!! Just a man in feminine clothing!

[girlygirly]

I always dress in female clothing, but I'm fairly discrete and don't put on makeup, wear breast forms and hip padding, go out in a dress, or try to pass in any way, because my voice would give me away, along with muscular arms and such. Yes, I wouldn't mind being a girl, just to try it out, but probably not if it was permanent. I would probably want to try it all out, including having sex with men, and trying to get the right ones to take interest in me without looking like a tramp. I would want to feel what it was like to be a woman, and having to survive in a "man's world". I don't think I would want to stay that way, though. I've always been mostly OK with being a guy, when it all comes down to it.

I wouldn't want a to change my designated sex, I don't want to have sex with men while I'm in any mode, and I respect the right of women to be the only ones who consistently get to behave like women. I'm fine with letting nature be, I just like wearing the clothes and dreaming about what it would be like to be a girl once in a while.

[Cheryl T]

MMmm...Do I know what it takes to be a woman?
May I ask in return, Do you know what it takes to be a woman?
I'm not asking to be silly, I'm just presenting the question.
Certainly you know what it takes to be female, but does that make one a woman? This seems more philosophical than anything else and if that is the case then do any of us have the true answer?

While I'm not TS, I am more than CD and personally it is not the panties, the stockings, the heels, the skirts or the physical attributes of a female that drive me to express my feminine side. Actually I don't know what the motivator is. Had I been able to answer that question at some point during my life I would most likely be in a different place than I am now. I don't feel that anyone can tell me why I feel as I do, but it's not because I covet the clothes deemed feminine by society. Those articles simply allow me to present to the world the image that expresses my inner feelings.
Over time I've discovered that I don't need sexy lingerie or exotic dresses and heels to feel the way I need to feel. That is accomplished as well in jeans and t-shirt.

No, I probably cannot tell you what it is to be a woman, but then I cannot tell you what it is to be a man either.
Society has it's perception of each and I believe we all have our own definition.

[Miss Maxine]

What if I said I don't have what it takes? Does that somehow invalidate me? If so, to whom, and do I really care if those people consider my actions to be illegitimate? I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone, so such questions are lost on me. I do what I do because I like it...not because I want some sort of social acceptance.

[Katelyn B]

KaliBrooke makes a good point, what exactly is this secret "womanness" you feel that men lack.

Its an issue I've struggled with for a very long time, how do you really know what you are, what does being a woman actually feel like, and if I feel like that and not a man and am therefore a transsexual, how would I know because I just feel the same as ever, there's nothing to compare it to, I'll always be "me" and innately feel like me. In which case reverse the question, do I feel like a man?, what do other men feel like inside. I don't think that makes sense, but I'm trying to say its impossible to compare one person to another regardless of gender when you take away social constructs.

Is it any harder to "have what it takes" to be a woman then it is to be a genetic male who needs to be one at any point on a sliding scale of under dressing to having transitioned full time, both bring with them there own set of problems, trials, and joy in any ratio you can think of, its down to the individuals experience. Is it really more than shoes? for most / some people of course it is, but some no it isn't, there are people on both sides of the genetic divide who embrace traits of the other without ever considering themselves transgendered, so there must be something more to the need of dressing as the opposite sex. For some there is going to be a fetishistic element to it, but I can't speak to that because its not what I get out of my chosen "lifestyle" (for want of a better word)

You did ask for mainly CD responses, and whilst I have no idea what I am I'm pretty certain I fall quite far away from that definition, but from your question it sounds like a challenge, asking people to justify who they are to you.

[KandisTX]

On occasion, the FAB forum mods will receive a request from an anonymous GG to post a question in the MtF forum. I've received such a request this evening:



EDIT - The GG in question just contacted me in response to post #4, to say this question is indeed asked to Crossdressers and not TSs. The body parts thread she refers to is a thread in the MtF and not the TS section. There are many responses, mostly from CDs:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...asts-or-Vagina

And also, she refers to the many posts throughout the MtF section where CDs say they are hetero in guy mode, but they want to be with men when dressed.

Dear Anonymous GG,

My simplest answer is "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". In truth for me, I am a heterosexual male who enjoys the beauty of crossdressing. I do not know what it truly takes to BE a woman as I have never been a woman. I have emulated women whom I have observed in my life and all in all it has just been me with some feminine attributes added on whilst dressed in my pretty finery. I have no desire to change my gender, nor have I ever enteratined the thought. Sometimes it really irks me to read some of the posts you referenced with regard to "What female body parts do you want" or "I desire to be with men ONLY when dressed but I am hetero". By the very definition of being bisexual If one desires intimacy with BOTH genders they are classifed as bisexual. I have never had the desire to have intimate relations with a man, while some intimate encounters with my own female partners involved what some would probably call leaning toward bisexuality, since it was not with a genetic male, it is only chalked up to being "kinky". A dear TS friend of mine once said when asked what she was answered "I'm more man than you shall ever be, and more woman than you shall ever obtain". I think that about sums up my thinking with regard to being a TG.

[Ressie]

Originally Posted by Anonymous GG
To Crossdressers:

I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.

Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.

On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side...

Seems to be more of a statement than a question. Where's the ?

I understand there's a lot more to being a woman than clothing, make up etc. If I were a TS I might be more interested in going to arts & craft shows or getting hormone treatments. There's no way IMO of crossdressers knowing what it's really like to be a female. Just as there's no way for a female to know everything about being male. But most CDs are much more in tune with women's feelings than most men, don't ya think?

I believe one would have to experience truly being the opposite sex to really know what it's like. As a CD, I can only wonder and imagine - although I've never imagined myself as having babies. In conclusion, how many GGs really understand what it's like to be a MtF CD?

[Sally24]

Originally Posted by Anonymous GG
I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.

You seem to be doing some selective reading. There are plenty of threads on all sorts of things. I agree there are many about the more shallow elements to being/appearing as a woman. Part of that is those things are in the reach of almost everyone. Many CDs don't even contemplate something deeper because it is not economically or socially possible for them. They do the bare minimum that will make them feel a little better.

It is also much easier to discuss clothing and makeup with strangers than the hard to describe feelings of loneliness and wrongness. Though many of us are not TS, we have a deeper connection to the female side than just dressing-up. When we don't even understand it ourselves, it can be extremely difficult to frame into words for others.

Originally Posted by Anonymous GG
On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side...

I might say more accurately that it's a different type of grass. I've been married 33 years and also have a 30 year old daughter so I am intimately familiar with just what good and bad go with being female. Would you admit that women are treated differently than men in almost all social situations? I know they are and much prefer how women interact than how men do. And I know all the physical and emotional pain that can be experienced by a women in our world. I would willingly take the good with the bad if given that choice.

Now note that there are many recreational CDers who have no interest in anything but the fun. I don't think they reflect the majority of us, but that's just a guess.

[docrobbysherry]

"I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman."

Not a clue! Do YOU KNOW what it takes to be a man? Neither do I! And, I r one!



"Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc."

It has NOTHING to do with "admiration" for ME. And, everything to do with attraction! Dressing is an unbelievable exciting hi for me! I can no more explain it to u, than u can explain to me what being a woman is like!



"On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side.."

Just like a woman! I don't get this! What precisely do u mean? Judging from the other replies, the other members here aren't sure either!

[Alice Torn]

I dress for a lot of reasons. I first had the urge at a young age, about 14, vur did not fully dress until 51! I have never been married, been a lonely, but artistic and expressive male, yet was stuck on blue collar jobs, including gravedigger. I don't think very many women have a clue about the stark lonliness, rejection, and inner sorrow many men are afflicted with. Dressin up as an attractive lady, is one diversion and escape from my lonely world, as an unwanted male, in a female dominated America, where men are not needed anymore.It is fun, thrilling, tet a lot of work. I realize that women have the opposite problem, of too many men hitting on them. I have personal ads out there as my male self, and almst never have a response. I also have personals out there. as my lady self. Almost everyday, new guys are hitting on my lady ad!

[Barbara Ella]

Keep trying to respond to this thoughtful thread. Kudos to the OP and the responders. I get tears in my eyes when I go back to the onion analogy (chuckle, bad one I know) but it fits in with the emotional development we all go through as we progress from a child (newbie) to an adult (person reaching their stable level of activity). There is nothing wrong with slumber parties, juvenile talk, etc. I think the majority of the GG went through that as they grew up. When we first recognize we are CD we are as children. We may be a mature male, but we know nothing about what we are programmed to do, express our femme side. What little girl didnt get her fingernails painted by Mom, and what little boy didnt get disappointed when he was told no. and what little boy didnt get delighted when Mom loved him as much as his sister.

The slumber parties of the juvenile GG where they did the girly stuff and talked the girly stuff was expected at that stage of their life. I responded to the panty color thread, because for a lot of us, we are in the juvenile stage of our development, but have to deal with matured capabilities, hence the dichotomy in our behavior. Sure we know it is trivial, but it is developmentally appropriate IMHO. Most will mature and progress to other concerns, eventually reaching a stable level of development. For some that may be SRS, for others they will never get closer to it than reading the wonderful posts and seeing the joy of those who do realize their dreams. We all have dreams. Can I explain them no way, but I believe in them, and know that my femme side has taken a larger bite of my heart and brain that i gave it credit for a long time. Now it is fighting back, and if I go overboard, so be it. I fault my male side for supressing my femme side for so long, so without compromising my very necessary male side, my girl is going to let it all out til she drops, just part of my maturing. i only hope that I mature I can approach the sensibility of a GG without becoming one. To gain that, my self needs to experience in a rather short time all the things you as a GG experienced over your lifetime that made you what you are today. Not all, I know, but each experience is a progression.

Sorry to babble, but isnt that what young girls do, and I am just a toddler in an adult body.

Babes

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, I have so much to add. And yet, after reading the preceding posts, I would say that I have nothing to add, other than my agreement.

Yes, Anonymous GG, you will certainly see many posts about the external things. For some of us, it is all we'll ever know. Guys, being the visual creatures that we are, tend to key on what we see. What we see is what we know, essentially. You will also see some posts from those that 'get it.' You will see those here who understand that it isn't what we look like. It isn't what we buy or wear or do, but what is in our hearts and minds. As Sara said, there are things under the surface. We may not know what it is to be women, never being one, but we are men. We know what it is like, both through who we are, who our peers are, and who we are socialized to be. Some of us here know what a man is supposed to be, and we see ourself . . . lacking, if that's the right word. So, in a binary society, if you're not one, you're the other, right?

As for the slumber party aspect, yes. I can see that. This is a place where we can engage in many types of fantasies, and have people who won't look down on us for it. It is a place of support. Because of that support, sometimes anything goes, and the conversation topics run from the interesting to the inane.



Kathi

[DonnaT]

For me, it's not about being female nor admiration for females. Nor is it about trying to emulate or imitate being female.

It's all about the clothes. How they feel, and how I feel in them.

When I first started, out of simple curiosity, it just felt right for some reason. I chalk it up to being trans, not as a fetish.

And being trans means different things to everyone. There is a wide variety of being trans, so some may be more feminine than others, etc. etc.

When my wife asked me a similar question, she wanted to know why I needed to wear a wig and makeup. I explained that I don't need to, and would be perfectly fine with just wearing a skirt out and about. Her response was, not with me you wouldn't. She'd rather I wore the wig and makeup out and about if she's with me.

[Rachel Flowers]

I really worry that the Anonymous GG is not going to get what she needs from this thread. This morning I corrected another poster for interpreting the question as bitter or negative but the more I read it the more, like others have commented here, it reads like she is afraid to ask the question she really needs the answer to and that question is one she must address to her own partner. The question has made some people here defensive, some defiant, some flippant and some gloriously generous and supportive; but no answer she can get from us will be valid for her own relationship. Did she anticipate we would give her a reply she could use to slap her partner in the face? Did she hope the voice of this forum could reassure her the he is faithful, isn't going to turn into a woman, isn't going to embarrass her in public? Her question seems so full of unspoken upset and anger (I accept I could be totally wrong, but her need to stay anonymous unfolds a panoply or possible interpretations.)

I had misgivings when this post came out about the wisdom of allowing people to ask anonymous questions in this way, but didn't have time to reflect on what was causing those misgivings. I asked Reine if it was "fair" and she essentially replied that it was necessary for the GG. That's a different adjective. I don't think, GG, you have asked the question you need the answer to. I think you are hurting, scared and angry and I'm really worried that our replies here won't soothe, reassure or calm you.

Me:

I label this side of me Rachel to help me understand and describe it but I feel both the man and the woman inside of me at all times. To me, we are both the same person, coexisting. I dress because when I do, the woman inside of me leaps for joy at being free to express herself in my behaviour after so many decades of neglect and suppression. Simultaneously the man inside me celebrates release from having to keep up the preposterous pantomime of masculinity. The answer to all your questions is, no I do not have the temerity to think I can understand what it means to "be a woman" in the way you mean it, but that is only one of several ways to mean it. Yes some discussions on here are very puerile but it won't help you to judge us, nor your partner, by the frivolous banter of anonymised alter egos seeking psychological release from the strain of lying to the world about who we are inside.

I genuinely hope you resolve whatever issue caused you to want to ask this question. Best wishes, anonymous GG.

[drushin703]

I thought it was just fantasy. Isnt it? This dressing in womens cloths thing. Just make believe.Our ts sisters might not agree but even they cannot enter
the world of established beliefs and traditions of female orthodoxy.When I was a young boy sneaking into moms girdle drawer it was pure pleasure, anonymous
and alone, guilt and fear.I am still guilty and afraid but now with money and privacy, I think some of my most unrealistic desires ARE attainable (thanks
Eluuzion).

I tried and tried to find a Dallas cowboys cheerleading outfit and finally, eventhough two sizes too small, I got one.And I danced around my room and
sang and cheered until my matching white boots cut off the circulation to my big toes.So I spent the rest of that evening soaking my feet in Epson salt
and cursing the moon..........gg baby, its just dress up.......dana

[Marleena]

I've read the OP's original questions a couple of times. I still see it as condascending to CDers. Maybe it's the way it's worded.

It isn't a slumber party, it's CD girls just having fun and posting thoughts. How can a genetic male know what it feels like to be a real genetic woman? Grass greener on the other side? Bad question I think. Imitating women, no for the most part. Just doing our thing.

It's like how dare you play around and pretend to be a woman. You think it's easy being a woman?