I'm with Suzy1 entirely on this! There is very clearly a section of my brain that is wired differently from the section of my brain that matches my biological gender. It took a long time to realize this, which is why my wife and I only found "Tina" when I had just turned 55! As has been posted elsewhere in this forum, there is a growing body of biological research that shows it is rather complicated for the fetal brain (which would develop female if left to its own devices) to change to a male...the phrase is "hormonal washes" that bathe the brain in the appropriate male hormones to have the brain and body biochemistry match. Sometimes, these washes do not get done completely and, well, here we are! The speculation (a logical one) is that the differing amounts of success of the hormonal washes dictate the varied depth of femininity in an otherwise masculine biochemistry, e.g. some just enjoying the clothes to those who must transition completely!

I'm one of the remarkably fortunate members of this forum to have a wife who understands completely, and has stated directly that it must be just impossible to live a life without allowing what you really are to surface! My wife very much sees the differences between my masculine and feminine sides, and has stated that she finds this very positive! The other day she said Tina was, "so sweet".

The problem with having a brain that represents two genders centers around the massive confusion about what and who we are! I can only biologically experience being a man. I was socialized as a boy growing up. The only thing that I can do now is to attempt to learn what I missed, and to experience, as best I can, life from a woman's perspective. I can live, as best as possible for blocks of time, as Tina. This exposes me to all the vaguaries of life that have been well-documented on this forum. Nonetheless, there is no other way if I am to understand as much as possible about what I missed by not growing up as a girl (at least parttime), what I will never understand biologically, and those pieces that are impossible to understand because not ALL of my brain is wired in a feminine fashion.

Thus, I see the goal is to know who we are, know our limitations and deficiencies, and be happy with the knowledge that we are the best we can be. And being proud of all of that might not hurt either!!

best,
Tina