Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse View Post
It may be that GG's would take exception to many things that I do or feel. But I'm trying to explore myself now--again something that I've never done before. So if my initial attempts are clumsy, what really would anyone expect? And yes, I'm not happy with the idea that someone should attempt to judge me or my behavior at this point. I've had too much judgement. Right now, I'd like the freedom--freedom that I've never felt before--to try and figure out who exactly I am and where I want to go.
I can't speak for all the GGs, since we are as varied as there are CDers and it's difficult to give my opinion about "GGs in general" without painting with a broad brush. But, I can see the quandary between a CDer feeling the need to express his own particular level of femininity based on where he's at along his journey, and (many? some?) GGs taking it the wrong way and saying that he has a false idea of what femininity is all about. It boils down to a basic difference in perception and error in communication, and also a lack of understanding of what a CDer goes through. I cannot blame the GGs for not understanding it as well as the CDers who actually live it. We really have no frame of reference for how it must feel to want or need to express femininity from within a gender that is socialized not to. We don't grow up having been exposed to men who feel this need, and this is why communication (and patience) is important not only between couples in their relationships, but in forums where both CDers and GGs live side by side.

Another issue: there are (many?) CDers who don't do this to express an inner femininity but who rather do this for kicks or fetish. These are the CDers who put on the highly sexualized maid uniforms, school girl outfits, short short skirts with fishnets, lingerie, disproportionate breast forms, etc and who behave as if they believe this is what the ideal woman is all about, all while fantasizing having sex with men. It is likely that any member GG's husband doesn't do this, but when a GG sees it here and in other online sites it brings up a certain fear, this sense of disquiet that I mentioned in another post and she wonders if her husband doesn't feel like this secretly as well. As much as we like to think that every couple communicates effectively, there is still a lot about the CDing that most husbands find difficult sharing with their wives which leaves the wife wondering what he is not telling her. And again, this is why thorough openness and communication is paramount.

Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse View Post
I'll confess that I myself like pretty, frilly stuff--stuff that most GG's wouldn't be caught dead in. But I don't apologize for that. My initial expression of this long repressed side of myself may be exaggerated, but that's just an effect of repression. If I get the time and freedom to explore, no doubt my self-expression will evolve and mature. But most people don't live what we've lived through--this concerted, desperate attempt to close off and deny a part of yourself. They shouldn't judge us too harshly because they have no way of understanding what we've been through.
You state your position and your motives clearly and objectively, and I admire this.