Why do you love CD?

[racquelr]

I don't remember exactly what age it was at, probably around junior high, but that's when I first started trying on women's clothes (it started with bras and slips I found in the hamper and then graduated to sneaking stuff from my mother's dresser when I was home alone).
Why was I first attracted to putting on women's clothes? Don't know for sure - probably just the sexual excitement a young pubescent encounters when seeing ladies intimate clothing. The JC Penney and Sears catalog intimates sections were like Playboy to me. Putting on women's clothes just took it to the next level for me.
Why do I continue to dress in women's clothes? For me, it's the thrill of looking sexy in sexy clothes. I don't find myself as sexy dressing as a man, but I do as a woman. I also love the way women's clothes fit and feel against my skin.
And yes, there is still a sexual thrill to dressing as a woman - my libido definitely kicks up a notch or two when I'm dressed and seeing myself dressed as a woman is still a sexual turn-on for me.

[Piora]

I think very few of us know what exactly was the trigger for our desire to crossdress, but I support the theory that it's the same kind of thing as being gay - it's something we're born with. We have an extra bit of "something" that makes us this way.

I looked at what it is about the female clothing I choose to wear, and although I haven't got an extensive wardrobe, the things I pick and like to wear, is the same kind of clothing that I admire on GGs. I largely like items that are very feminine. And it's the same as when I see those things on a woman.

Why I love it......it's that removal of my maleness for a while, and getting in touch with the feminine part of myself. It's a desire to embrace that, to keep it alive and part of who I am.

[DanaR]

So who said I love it? I started when I was 7.... Before I knew what sex was. I kind of blame my mother for letting me know I was supposed to have been a girl! But its something that just never goes away. It screws up relationships. Its expensive as hell.... I'd be more than happy if it went away. Being caught between two genders sucks. I'd settle to be in one or the other. Either one! I'm not choosy! Lol. But the reality is I know it never goes away so I embraced it and moved on...

My story is similar to Karrens. I have several pictures of me when I was about four years old. My older sister (10 years older) caught me a few times when I was 7 or 8 dressed in some of my moms clothes. Through out my life I was always close to my mom, so I suppose that I wanted to be like her. I've been married for a long time, my wife knows about me. She is alright with my CD'ing, but I'm sure that she wishes that I didn't.

[CaseyMarie]

You know, I have been in therapy for almost a year talking about this very issue and while my therapist and I have found a few things like my relationship with my mother and the absolute disaster of a marriage I am in - not for much longer - I have to admit, I don't have a clue why I like to dress. All I know is that i enjoy the way I feel. I can't even say I enjoy the way the clothes feel because, in all honesty, they don't actually fit quite right in some key places. I just like the way I feel. I do know it is as much a part of me as my male pattern baldness and even though I have "quit" a few times, the desire is always there. It is not a sexual thing for me either. It is just a feeling. There are certain masculine clothes I can wear that give me different feelings; my cowboy boots, jeans and a pressed shirt make me feel powerful and confident, my tux attractive and sexy. Dressing in my panties and bra with garter and stockings with a nice top and skirt make me feel at peace. What's to explain? Who cares how or why. For me it just is.

[Acastina]

In regard to Karren's statement that one cannot stop crossdressing, I will differ with that statement!! Any crossdresser can stop completely IF THEY WANT TO!! As Suchacutie says, our minds are wired the way they are! However, we can change the wiring if we really want to. It takes hard work and dedication, but it can be done. I made it go away for a 5 year period, and only started crossdressing again because my dear wife begged me to!! If my children, or my girlfriend, tell me to stop, I will. I know it can be done!!

With respect, what you describe is called denial and repression, and it's generally unhealthy emotionally. It's also the stock-in-trade of "pray away the gay" con artists.

"Changing the wiring" misapprehends the whole theory of prenatal development that is the single best scientific explanation for gender variance. Psychological conditioning, "brainwashing" and the like can distort and retrain the consciousness, but they don't "re-wire" the brain. Nuns used to beat left-handedness out of students in the belief that it was wicked; those kids still instinctively used the south paw anyway.

The brain-wiring theory essentially means that we're hard-wired for these behaviors; it's firmware, not software, on the hardware between our ears. Education, conditioning, that's software, conscious reprogramming. Hardware changes are neurosurgical. In between is something immutable, IMHO. If it weren't, so many intelligent, reasonable people wouldn't end up on sites like this talking about it at such length.

We all want to understand it to some extent, even if we claim not to. Accepting it unquestioningly is fine; if it's that easy for you, more power to you. What I read here a lot is questioning acceptance, a lot of looking for answers, and that involves comparing one's own experience to that of others with this same unusual behavior, wondering why we do this. From that flows the question of whether one can take it or leave it. If you can leave it, why spend time here?

This is big, serious stuff, and it's down deep somewhere, so I have to question the proposition that it can be willed away.

[KellyJameson]

For some I think crossdressing is an escape from their socialized masculinity, that learned behavior in childhood on how to act and what is expected of you because this is a role in service to others and so by it's very nature is work in exchange for the benefits that this exchange allows in the market place for securing a partner and position in society. An escape from a specific form of self imposed stress of being a "man" that pounds the life out of those who are sensitive to their humanity that other men thrive on.

For others it is the desire to possess feminine beauty as an extension of their heterosexual sexuality and possible erotiiscism of the act of crossdressing.

But than there is the much smaller sub group who for them is not an escape from masculinity but movement toward their repressed or undiscovered natural feminine state born from a state of confusion and possible panic often with a life long sense of not being 'normal". Acastina is correct, the seeds were planted in the proper soil and the brain was feminized (not masculinized) even though it is in a male body so the person is literally at war with everything outside their own minds, the mind is raw and life is the sandpaper that is constantly rubbing on it.

Than there is the force of nurture (environment) that is equally powerful in shaping identity. Every human being is set on a path not of their choosing but than must make choices of who and want they are and shall become, with knowledge we create ourselves instead of being created.

We live between two opposing dualities and each person must find their own balance between opposites while being aware that everything is always changing forcing us to constantly adjust to stay in balance and for some their balance is found on the extreme ends of the spectrum.

I'm on the extreme end represented by Yin (femininity) and find my complement in others who are on the extreme end of yang so CDing for me is born out of me as an extension of who I am not as a means to change what I am.

I do not "love" to CD, I "need" to as a symbolic representation of the way my mind experiences itself and by extension my reality ( my truth)

[Nicola2876]

From a young age I was attracted to femme things. I was always told I was expected to be a girl before i was born. I had an operation when I was a baby and carried an ugly scar on my groin which i thought was from where surgeons had changed me from a girl to a boy and made a huge mistake.

Clothes wise, I tried on dresses preschool. Regular crossdressing from ten or eleven. virtually lived as a woman at home in my mid twenties. Got married, had kids. Feelings of gender confuion. Diagnosed transexual at 37.

Also, girls clothes are brilliant. I just cant understand why anyone wouldnt want to wear them. They make me feel great and its wo I am

[Jilmac]

I started very early in life when a cousin dared me to wear a dress and panties (I was 7 he was 11). I fell in love with the way the panties felt against my skin, and how pretty the dress looked on me. I had five sisters and only one brother so I was always comfortable with girls and doing girl stuff. Three of my sisters were older than me which gave me plenty of clothes to experiment with. However back when I started, boys wearing dresses were either considered sissies or just plain wierd, so I stayed in the closet through school, military service, two marriages and raising a family. When I became an empty nester and widower, I was finally able to come out and enjoy being the person I really am.

In the beginning, there were some sexuality issues which I incorporated into my dressing but the more often I dressed, the less sexual it became. Now it's pure enjoyment and I can honestly say that I love dressing any time I choose, but I can also appreciate my male side as well.

[KelleyG]

I started at an early age. (7 or 8) I can remember when my sisters would leave the house, I would sneak in their room and try on their close and shoes. I'm not sure why I even started doing it. But every time I did, it felt right. It could have something to do with being the only boy in the house but who knows... the feeling has never left and still today there is nothing like putting on my favorite outfit and pair of heels, painting my nails and walking around the house. I only wish I could do it more.
Kelley

[Brittany CD]

It's definitely not a sexual matter for me. I've been interested in women's fashion for years and I honestly don't know why I like the idea of putting on makeup and a wig. That's the one aspect that's always been a mystery because I've never actually felt like a woman or even slightly feminine

[crissie cd]

as a kid i had a friend or like an older sister so we hung out. in the late 60's early 70's we were together a lot of the time. i tried on some of her things pants, shirts & shoes no dresses at that time. i received hand me down clothes from my aunt from my cousin, but there was a cool pair of purple button up pants no zipper from my female cousin, was the style in the late 60', early 70's love them. i guess that's how it started. pretty much stopped. years later got up the nerve to go to a close friend's Halloween party went dressed in black skirt, top fishnets and heels. crazy black wig from my boss at the time. make up was terrible done by my wife's friend. some years later went again this time with my band a gig we were playing at a pub. great fun wearing my sister-in-law little black lace mini dress with fishnets, black panties, bra and pumps. the feeling was great scary, but so exciting at the same time being dressed up. i found this year being fulled with such stress i want to dress and purchase things and enjoy it. also thank you Jennifer for that great story i must tell my wife, but at this time things are too crazy.

[sissystephanie]

With respect, what you describe is called denial and repression, and it's generally unhealthy emotionally. It's also the stock-in-trade of "pray away the gay" con artists. This is big, serious stuff, and it's down deep somewhere, so I have to question the proposition that it can be willed away.

Acastina,

What I described is the complete truth. There is no "Denial" or "Repression" involved. Each one of us controls our own minds, or at least we should control them, and that being the case we can change them. If you do not believe that to be the case, just ask any Health professional who specializes in Gender disorders. I have, over many years, talked to many of them and they all have agreed with my theories! If we don't control our lives, than who does?

[Frederika]

I think there is a multitude of reasons. I am very sensitive to what Briana90802 said. To me, femininity is a fascinating art and this art is my favorite because I can become the media of it.

Above all, what I like is that crossdressing can be very subversive and almost revolutionary like any artistic activity should be.

Is not it amazing how a woman can change his appearance?
About this, I often think of Marilyn Monroe.

(Excuse my english: I am not a native speaker. And the worst is that I'm French:D)

[Patsy]

Well I must admit it started out as a sexual thing. Now, I don't know. It kind of opens up new worlds. Take away the societal pressures and my own inexperience and I'd certainly be living at least part time as a woman I think.

[Krististeph]

I am new here and just starting to learn about the world of crossdressing.

I was wanting to know what and why you love cross dressing? Is it sexual or not? How did you start? Where would you like it to take you?

Thanks for replying!

i CD because it fits the way i think of myself. I love nice white cotton blouses (slightly oversized styling) over jeans for just lounging around. elegant- but not fussy, not sexual except pleasing to the eye-
other times. i dress sexier- and this will sometimes start something with my wife- she can appreciate some of the appearances. Mostly it is part of me feeling like I identify more with women than men, in attitudes and outlook. I'll never be able to reach my 'destination, but then, one's reach should exceed one's grasp, according to robert browning...

[Stacy L]

At my current age, I am not only older than most of you but have been crossdressing longer than some of you have been alive!


In regard to Karren's statement that one cannot stop crossdressing, I will differ with that statement!! Any crossdresser can stop completely IF THEY WANT TO!! As Suchacutie says, our minds are wired the way they are! However, we can change the wiring if we really want to. It takes hard work and dedication, but it can be done. I made it go away for a 5 year period, and only started crossdressing again because my dear wife begged me to!! If my children, or my girlfriend, tell me to stop, I will. I know it can be done!!

You are right Sissystephanie, a person can stop if they want too, I've stopped hundreds of times.

I'm 10 years younger that you by the way and stopping for 5 years doesn't prove that you can stop for life.

[ArleneRaquel]

I do love CD'ing, it's something that IMHO is a part of my DNA. If it isn't why do I have the urge to dress enfemme nearly always 24/7 ?

[hmerkin]

I Love To Crossdress!
The Bottom line is Nylon Panties, Pantyhose, Silk dress, High Heel Pumps! Not Too Mention Make-up, Wigs, false finger nails, ear-rings and pearls!!! Being a Woman is hardwork!!!
Love, Crystal

[LeaP]

So who said I love it? I started when I was 7.... Before I knew what sex was. ... But its something that just never goes away. It screws up relationships. Its expensive as hell.... ... But the reality is I know it never goes away so I embraced it and moved on...

... I could also do without it much of the time. Being caught between genders is a pain that never leaves. It saps time and money from me, and forces me to live in a turmoil that I'd rather live without. But it never goes away for long, and always comes back. So I guess I CD because I have to and because I want to.

Yes, in spades. Mine started pre-school. Karren and Maria's experiences are like mine, except that with the most recent return of a year ago, it hasn't left for a single minute. Have to definitely turned completely into want to, though that hasn't made the conflicts go away. It was like reaching a tipping point where the conflict was about pushing it away where it now dealing with the baggage. Like Nathalie, it's now wanting to present as I feel.

I still can vividly recall secretly putting on one of my sister's slips when I was perhaps 4 years old.

Kim, you have no idea how timely this comment is. I've had several such vivid recollections come back to me recently. It was always slips when I was little. I wrote recently about how I loved ironing with my mother. I loved the time with her, of course, but I remember those slips, and in particular sitting on the floor under the ironing board in one. I was probably 4 or so myself.

Lea

[josee]

I have no memory of not wanting to wear tights. My mom dressed me in them as a baby. By 6 or 8 I was checking out her underwear drawers. I remember going through the Sears and Roebucks Fall and Winter Catalog spending a lot of time day dreaming in the women's intimates section.

I've struggled with not doing it through two marriages. Kept on thinking I could stop. Still married to my poor second wife who has known since the beginning that I liked female underthings. Have been underdressing daily for a couple of years.
Coming up on a year since I decided to quit fighting it and try to learn to accept it.
Been going to a TriEss like group.

Realizing that I would like to be dressed all of the time.

When I am dressed, a bit of make-up, looking as girly as I can, the world seems to slow down just a little my anxiety slips away, my mood is happier and I feel like it is how I am supposed to be. I think what some would say Zen like.

[PretzelGirl]

I am the classic latebloomer. In my teens, I went through about a 1-2 month period where I would try on things and then take them right off. And then it was gone....

Fast forward to my forties and it started to take root a little at a time. It started with a sexual component to it, but that went away fast. Then it was just enjoyment.

I am the kind of person that accepts things as they are (Que Sera Sera). I thoroughly enjoy letting this side of me out and I generally don't worry about things involved with this (can't brush it all off, I am human). So I just want to go where it takes me. Let my gut tell me and follow its lead. If you don't force things, then they can't become stressors for you.

[sara.s]

Women look hot in women's outfits.. I just try to be a copy cat.