This is all very simple, yet extremely difficult to do.
Men who have other than hetero desires may not be gay, but they sure as hell ain't straight either. The closet cases argue with me as if I'm the enemy, when the enemy is the closet. I spent most of my life being closeted and trying desperately to be just a regular straight dude. I had times when I felt "gayer" than other times. Sometimes I felt like I wanted to be a man very much, and other times I felt like I wanted to just be myself, whatever that was. For years i was "totally straight" to anybody that asked, yet I was having secret gay sex at least a couple of times a year. Eventually I finally decided that I must be bisexual. I could admit I was bi, that seemed like it was better than the truth. How could I NOT like women after all? They are so beautiful and yadda yadda. It was just a year before I started doing real work on my issues that I finally came out to myself as gay. Totally gay. Men and only men.
The point is, this compartmentalization that CD's do in regard to their sexuality is a direct result of their inability to accept themselves for who they are. Gay, Bi, whatever, but sex with a man in a wig is still sex with a man and whatever that is, it is NOT hetero or straight. Accept it, own it, be proud of it. You will never be truly happy until you can stop being ashamed of yourself. Coming out to the world is optional as a CD, but coming out to yourself is not.
I was a closet queen for many many years. I am intimately familiar with the excuses and the denial. This "while I'm dressed" BS may work on your SO, but I see right through it because I lived it. Being with a man is wonderful and I'm ashamed that I denied it for so long, as if there was something wrong with me. This is just how I am, and I'm finally okay with it. How about you?
Reine, that post was just brilliant. You amaze the hell out of me the way you read men. I'm honestly humbled sometimes because I like to say that nobody knows men like a TS woman, but you consistently prove that wrong. Brava lady.Originally Posted by ReineD
