It's a mystery to me as well. Two men having sex together are having homosexual sex, no matter how they're dressed. If it's just a fantasy, then it is a homoerotic fantasy.Originally Posted by SweetPea_GG
I believe there's an element of denial involved as some have suggested here, but I also think it's deeper than that. I may be way off, but this is my best guess:
Most guys who have feminine desires or tendencies (even if they don't recognize them as such) need to bury them pretty deep if they will survive childhood and their teen years. Guys growing up are not supposed to like pretty things, they're not supposed to be passive or submissive. They're busy positioning themselves along the male pecking order. So, CDers need to compartmentalize their inner landscapes to the point of not allowing themselves to do some things in guy mode, that might give a clue as to what is going on internally, that non-CDs have no issues doing when they reach maturity. Some of these things might be dancing, or art appreciation, or enjoying cooking or sewing, or having an opinion about what color goes on the wall. The compartmentalized preferences are different for everyone. Until they've reached self-acceptance, CDers don't want anyone (including themselves) to come close to guessing who they really are. I think that (many?) CDers have built such a thick wall around their feminine desires that they grow up to actually believe they are different people when they're dressed. How many members here refer to their femme personas in the third person? How many say they have different interests when they're dressed, such as loving to do housework, or enjoying different music, or knitting, or being more outgoing? These CDers are not integrated because they've never given themselves permission in guy mode to follow interests that might have gotten them creamed when they were younger, had their peers had any inkling about the CDing desires. So is it a surprise that they also compartmentalize sexual fantasy?
Either that, or it is pure fetichism of the autogynephilia variety, and the guy is the ultimate femme accessory ... and when face to face with a real guy the illusion shatters pretty quickly (if the CDer is hetero). If the fantasy doesn't shatter, then he certainly is not hetero. :p
At least a CDer has a reason for the compartmentalization. But can you imagine the level of denial among the admirers?
