Originally Posted by
Badtranny
Well I think you answered it RD, they IDENTIFY as male and say over and over that they like women, some have even regaled us with stories of gleeful violent retribution for a smack on the bottom from some poor admiring guy. These "straight" CD's have indeed somehow accepted that they have a "fem" side but apparently only under the condition that they remain faithfully attracted to the Vag. I can speak to the power of denial and I can totally understand that the "fem side" is an attractive loophole.
You know that for me the most important lesson that I've learned from this journey is to be honest with yourself and be proud of who you are. I believe denial is a significant barrier to self acceptance and being allowed to be situationally gay, only serves to prolong and perhaps deepen the denial. A man in deep denial is a creepy man and that creepiness will manifest itself in other areas of his life. This I know to be true.
For me, being bisexual was just a way to continue denying my real desire. Being bi is freaky and fun, being gay was a total surrender of whatever masculinity I had. A masculine CD can live with wearing a dress, as long as he can kick your ass because he's still a man. Maybe better than a man, but to admit an attraction to other men is something he cannot do. Dressing like a woman is bad enough, but there's nothing worse than being something less than a man. This is where the denial is rooted.
