The Lady or the Family?

[Leslie Langford]

Leslie Langford I'm at a loss to know why, when this post was made by a person who I am assuming is a TG, you have you felt the need to reply in such a defensive way? I sense a real hostility towards wives/GG's in your post.

The original post asked "what is most important to you, CD'ing or the family" not "choose which you want - CD'ing or me"

I find it really sad to read such a hostile post - once again GG's are getting a lecture on how they should react despite the fact that throughout this whole thread not one GG has made a negative or "inflexible attitude" post! How can you expect us to be understanding, flexible and compromising when we get an unprovoked tongue lashing like that?

Well, the way I see it, Silentpartner, Abigail threw a very general question out there to see what kind of a response it would attract, and I happened to interpret it in my own particular way.

Actually, it is a rather loaded question along the lines of "Does this make my butt look fat" as Scarlet Rose alluded to, and as we all know, anyone answering such a question with total honesty does so at their own peril.

I'm sorry if you find that my post sounds hostile towards GG's, but I'm the type who calls 'em as I see 'em, and I think that I speak for most other forum members here who are locked into this kind of dance with their non- or barely-accepting/tolerant SO's.

I would surmise from the subliminal message projected by your screen name here i.e. Silentpartner (with the emphasis on the Silent part) that you are the type of SO who is accommodating and non-confrontational with regard to your partner's crossdressing. That is not the reality for many other members here, a lot of whom find that their wives use their guilt and shame over their crossdressing to try to manipulate and control them - sometimes even to the point of being bullies about it to get their way and define the relationship on their own terms.

So within that context, the question of whether the crossdresser would be inclined to chose either his family or his crossdressing over the other falls into the realm of manipulation as far as I am concerned. It is also an unfair question, because unless the issue of the male partner's crossdressing is being used as the basis of a power struggle between the two and constitutes a red herring that masks other, more fundamental problems in the relationship, then there are other ways to address this concern.

And that other way - to my mind - is a mutually agreeable compromise wherein both partner's needs are addressed equally and in a respectful manner.