when does Crossdresser become Transsexual if ever

[Bree-asaurus]

That seems to go back to the "difference between CD and TS" joke posted earlier.
:P

I know we covered that you don't need to crossdress to be TS, but can crossdressing act as a gateway to self discovery in some circumstances?

Sorry for the million questions, I'm sponging it up.

I'm sure it can. Crossdressing was more of an outlet for me. To have SOME kind of expression of who I am.

I, honestly, don't really like that joke.

[Katesback]

Well Kitty I will tell you this. When I worked for the state doing HIV prevention targeting the trans population I was in contact with countless trans people. That of course includes CDs. From my observations I had a lot of the CDs talk to me in confidence about thier desires. Of course they wont talk turkey around the wife! I can say that a shocking number of them were wanting to transition but the one big common factor ALWAYS came into play. Marriage. They did not want to loose thier marriage!

Now of course these were CDs that had enough confidence to at least go into the public to some degree. I would suggest that thats a pretty small percentage of the CDs because I suspect the overwelming majority hide in thier houses ONLY. Of course the ones with a bit of confidence get a taste of womanhood and the wheels start turning.

Add to it the insidious word they like to use incorrectly, ACCEPTANCE. See if they have not gained any acceptance then they tend to hide and never express themselves but if they gain some sort of acceptance (in thier words) the clock starts ticking to wanting to transition. Why do I call acceptance insidious? Well because they incorrectly add to word participatory to it. Meaning they want thier wives to be actively participatory of thier activities.

You know I could be but............. Why do so many cd's hate their male self? Why dress the male disrespectfully with out of date jeans, T-shirts, sportswear or anything that takes no effort at all but dress the feme self elaborately? This to me suggests a disrespect for the male self. If maleness was embraced equally there would be the same effort in the variety and quality of the male clothing? Infinate variety exists in the mens section, It is no secret I have shopped there. To me that makes no sense and also leads partners and family members of cd's to question their true identity. Most cds actions don't match their words. If my husband could have equally embraced his male self with the cd part time? I could have hung in there (well maybe not without a lot of medication, he was more than trans) but it never stays parttime. You read it here time and time again. In fact it seems rare that a cd can actually gain balance between the fem and male self. To me that is confusing evidence that crossdressing is just a transition to the realization that the truth is more transexual than anything.

[Jessica Who]

I used to have thoughts that one day I would want to transition (this was during my early college years), however I just needed to figure myself out and I found that transitioning would not be something I would ever want to do.

[Rianna Humble]

I found that transitioning would not be something I would ever want to do.

At least we can agree on that one! I never wanted to transition either, the difference is If I hadn't started down this road, I wouldn't be alive.

[kittypw GG]

Well Kitty I will tell you this. When I worked for the state doing HIV prevention targeting the trans population I was in contact with countless trans people. That of course includes CDs. From my observations I had a lot of the CDs talk to me in confidence about thier desires. Of course they wont talk turkey around the wife! I can say that a shocking number of them were wanting to transition but the one big common factor ALWAYS came into play. Marriage. They did not want to loose thier marriage!

Now of course these were CDs that had enough confidence to at least go into the public to some degree. I would suggest that thats a pretty small percentage of the CDs because I suspect the overwelming majority hide in thier houses ONLY. Of course the ones with a bit of confidence get a taste of womanhood and the wheels start turning.

Add to it the insidious word they like to use incorrectly, ACCEPTANCE. See if they have not gained any acceptance then they tend to hide and never express themselves but if they gain some sort of acceptance (in thier words) the clock starts ticking to wanting to transition. Why do I call acceptance insidious? Well because they incorrectly add to word participatory to it. Meaning they want thier wives to be actively participatory of thier activities.

I think this is an important conversation. Many so's are so confused by this "activity". They cling to the fact that their husband is just that ..... their husband, when the truth is quite a bit farther from that. Like I said us so's are only privy to the very tip of the iceberg and when this so called "pink fog" sets in we are so confused and scared. Many find the secrets thoughts of their husbands in e-mails to others or read hints of it on forums like this. When they confront their cd...... adament denial is what they get not an honest conversation of what really drives them. Trust me............the hurt over being lied to is a much harder hurdle to get over than dealing with and faceing the truth. Sure some marriages will fail when faced with the truth but many may not. We all deserve to be in relationships where our partners respect us enough to be up front and honest. Maybe when the time comes and the cd finally confesses they are more than that and they want boobs, hormones and to live 24/7 we won't have to crumble so much from being sold a lie, or feel like we waisted the best years of our lives and will now have to face retirement alone or with someone you never really knew.

[Katesback]

Well Kitty let me say one thing. There is not a chance in hell that I would date or marry a CD. Why? Well because what you talk about all too often does come true. Another reason is I dont want the CD stuff jammed in my face, and then rammed down my mouth perputually. Of course if I say no then I am not being.... Accepting.

Crap I am all for someone being whoever they want to be but that does not mean I have to expose myself to it and finally if I marry a man I want a man 100% of the time. I dont want a man who really is a woman that has yet to come to that realitization but will as time goes by.

I guess I just dont like risks. I refuse to date an alcholic (even if they have not been drinking), I refuse to date criminals, I refuse to date addicts, and I refuse to date anyone that is trans anything! Just not worth the risks.

Katie

P.S. Kitty you noticed that when people disagree with you they either attack ya or try to discredit you. That is probably the most entertaining aspects of this forum. An example is that what I said in this post could very well get one of them so upset they will attack me and say I am not accepting, mean, am a hypochryt and watever else. Crap I am not mean I am actually a really nice person. I just keep it real and dont put pink fog around the conversation.

I think this is an important conversation. Many so's are so confused by this "activity". They cling to the fact that their husband is just that ..... their husband, when the truth is quite a bit farther from that. Like I said us so's are only privy to the very tip of the iceberg and when this so called "pink fog" sets in we are so confused and scared. Many find the secrets thoughts of their husbands in e-mails to others or read hints of it on forums like this. When they confront their cd...... adament denial is what they get not an honest conversation of what really drives them. Trust me............the hurt over being lied to is a much harder hurdle to get over than dealing with and faceing the truth. Sure some marriages will fail when faced with the truth but many may not. We all deserve to be in relationships where our partners respect us enough to be up front and honest. Maybe when the time comes and the cd finally confesses they are more than that and they want boobs, hormones and to live 24/7 we won't have to crumble so much from being sold a lie, or feel like we waisted the best years of our lives and will now have to face retirement alone or with someone you never really knew.

[whowhatwhen]

I'm not seeing any attacks though, people have pointed out very real exceptions to some sweeping generalizations.

Edit:
I'm not siding on either side.
o_o

[Marleena]

I'm not seeing any attacks though, people have pointed out very real exceptions to some sweeping generalizations.

I'm seeing a personal agenda in this thread that is just meant to scare GG's. It serves no other purpose.

[Katesback]

Scare GG? Crap it is keeping it real!!! Just like Kitty said denial is all too often the words they hear. At Least they hear the reality of CDs from me. Does that mean all are this way? Nope, but then as I said it's reality enough for me that I refuse to take such a risk.

Let me ask you this. Why is it that if you call ANY of the online CD stores and ask them what thier biggest selling items are, they will tell you that the herbal hormones are it. Aside from the fact that herbal hormones are useless I will ask you why are they the biggest sellers. Another thing, if the words of Kitty and I are skewed then why is it that you own posts in this forum 1000s of times over reinforce what we are talking about. Are we scarring the GGs. I really dont know, but at least they are hearing a distinctly possible reality they face.

Katie


P.S. This post was created two days ago. It has well over 1000 views. Any post that talkes about TS related issues, dating men, bisexuality, sex, hormones, anything that probably would more so be related to TS women gets huge numbers of views in the CD forum. Geee I wonder why that is.............

I'm seeing a personal agenda in this thread that is just meant to scare GG's. It serves no other purpose.

[Marleena]

Scare GG? Crap it is keeping it real!!! Just like Kitty said denial is all too often the words they hear. At Least they hear the reality of CDs from me. Does that mean all are this way? Nope, but then as I said it's reality enough for me that I refuse to take such a risk.

Let me ask you this. Why is it that if you call ANY of the online CD stores and ask them what thier biggest selling items are, they will tell you that the herbal hormones are it. Aside from the fact that herbal hormones are useless I will ask you why are they the biggest sellers. Another thing, if the words of Kitty and I are skewed then why is it that you own posts in this forum 1000s of times over reinforce what we are talking about. Are we scarring the GGs. I really dont know, but at least they are hearing a distinctly possible reality they face.

Katie

Too bad we can't do a poll here. The majority of Cd's here want to be a male, remain a male, but crossdress. Kitty had a bad experience, and you Katie want an alpha male! That makes it anti CD to me.

[whowhatwhen]

P.S. This post was created two days ago. It has well over 1000 views. Any post that talkes about TS related issues, dating men, bisexuality, sex, hormones, anything that probably would more so be related to TS women gets huge numbers of views in the CD forum. Geee I wonder why that is.............

That's certainly a possibility and people will eventually figure themselves out but I'm still not sure we can tell them what they are before they're ready.
Also, there is the fact that there are real posters here that simply aren't TS.

Personally, I have no stake in this.
I've decided that if I were to get involved with anyone I would tell them that if they're expecting a man 100% of the time then they're barking up the wrong tree.
Forever alone maybe, but it's honest I guess.

Edit:
Can't we all just get along?

[Marleena]

Okay Katie you edited your post. You can feel free to look at thousands of my posts and see mine are supportive of CD members. Can I say the same for yours? I kow what I will find in Kitty's for sure.

Who cares what we find interesting here the general public can read many of them it proves nothing.

Anti CD is obvious here..

[Katesback]

Kitty I have always enjoyed watching people. If you ever get a chance to observe CDs in a group it can be very interesting. How so? Well CDs when they are toghether and have no wives around will act as much like a woman as they can. CDs in a group where wives are present are the most entertaining. See they will walk this fine like where they look like a woman but will still act a lot like a man.

Why? Because after constantly denying about wanting to be a woman they figure that if they act like a man in a dress it will keep the wife at ease.

Whats even more funny is if a TS woman sits down with a group of CDs and thier wives. That my dear is truely priceless. You can see the fear in thier eyes. They will even do thing to get the TS woman out of the group as fast as possible (the word acceptance goes out the window LOL, they wont even TOLERATE the TS). If they cant they will try thier best to get her aside and tell her not to talk about TS issues! Its priceless. I mean lord knows if they wives were to hear about TS issues they might see some of those aspects in thier husbands and start to put the puzzle toghether.

Now take the same exact group of non accepting CDs and remove the wifes. They all of a sudden are very accepting of a TS girl in thier presence. They ask the question about transition, they really enjoy the presence of the TS. As a matter of fact its not uncommon for the CDs to proposition sex with the TS. How do I know this? I have been to conferences I have watched these events many a time over. I have been propositioned for sex more than I can think of.

GGs. just know that your husband will do whatever it takes to keep your marriage and I mean whatever it takes. That means anything you dont know about falls into the word whatever it takes.

Katie

I think this is an important conversation. Many so's are so confused by this "activity". They cling to the fact that their husband is just that ..... their husband, when the truth is quite a bit farther from that. Like I said us so's are only privy to the very tip of the iceberg and when this so called "pink fog" sets in we are so confused and scared. Many find the secrets thoughts of their husbands in e-mails to others or read hints of it on forums like this. When they confront their cd...... adament denial is what they get not an honest conversation of what really drives them. Trust me............the hurt over being lied to is a much harder hurdle to get over than dealing with and faceing the truth. Sure some marriages will fail when faced with the truth but many may not. We all deserve to be in relationships where our partners respect us enough to be up front and honest. Maybe when the time comes and the cd finally confesses they are more than that and they want boobs, hormones and to live 24/7 we won't have to crumble so much from being sold a lie, or feel like we waisted the best years of our lives and will now have to face retirement alone or with someone you never really knew.

[Marleena]

Kitty I have always enjoyed watching people. If you ever get a chance to observe CDs in a group it can be very interesting. How so? Well CDs when they are toghether and have no wives around will act as much like a woman as they can. CDs in a group where wives are present are the most entertaining. See they will walk this fine like where they look like a woman but will still act a lot like a man.

Why? Because after constantly denying about wanting to be a woman they figure that if they act like a man in a dress it will keep the wife at ease.

Whats even more funny is if a TS woman sits down with a group of CDs and thier wives. That my dear is truely priceless. You can see the fear in thier eyes. They will even do thing to get the TS woman out of the group as fast as possible (the word acceptance goes out the window LOL, they wont even TOLERATE the TS). If they cant they will try thier best to get her aside and tell her not to talk about TS issues! Its priceless. I mean lord knows if they wives were to hear about TS issues they might see some of those aspects in thier husbands and start to put the puzzle toghether.

Showing your true colors here. Thank you!

I'm out if any of the Cd's are brave enough (or maybe stupid enough) to continue good luck!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Too bad we can't do a poll here. The majority of Cd's here want to be a male, remain a male, but crossdress. Kitty had a bad experience, and you Katie want an alpha male! That makes it anti CD to me.

A poll wouldn't help
..people would lie (sometimes to themselves)

I don't think its obviously anti-cd at all...
Kate shared her experience...it is a GIVEN that her perspective has a ts slant

i know that i told my wife I was a crossdresser, she divorced me, and i ended up "realizing" why i crossdressed.
There was no doubt in my mind that i WAS NOT transsexual.. i am an honest, sincere, intelligent person, and yet i somehow fooled myself...it boggles my mind to this day how i was so blind.
My own experience has clearly influenced my views. So take it or leave, that's what happened..

Transsexuality is rare. If a person crossdresses, that is "risk factor" for being ts.. that's pretty much the bottom line, isn't it??

It doesn't matter Marleena if the majority of cd's here have no interest in transition and never will(you are likely correct, they don't)...but enough do that the wives and SO's of CD's are well served to be aware of it...

Luckily its a personal thing, you can talk to your family, and i can talk to mine, and we all try to work it out
..if you are open and honest in your communication, that's basically all you can do..

[Badtranny]

and you Katie want an alpha male! That makes it anti CD to me.

There is nothing anti-CD about wanting an alpha male. I'm not attracted to feminine men or femininity in general. I like MEN. If my man wants to express a feminine side than he will have my full support, understanding, and acceptance but he won't have me as a lover anymore. I have already paid my dues trying to live my life for other people and those days are over my friend. I stand proudly and loudly as an openly transitioning TS, with no place left to hide and I'll be damned if I'm going to let somebody, anybody pull me back into a closet or give me secrets to keep.

I've noticed lately that it's become kind of trendy for the CD's to claim persecution from the TS's and GG's but I can say with some certainty that if we hated CD's we would not bother posting here. I personally love the idea of a cross-dressing man and I think more of them should be open about it. I think it's fabulous for a guy to have a feminine side and I have met some really wonderful CD's that I am proud to call friends. I would hang out with them anywhere anytime dressed drab or fab.

There is NOTHING wrong with cross-dressing. Every girl will say that it's fun to dress up sometimes and if a guy wants to dress in women's clothes, well why the hell not?

[Katesback]

By the way someone suggested taking a poll to here. Crap that would be the most unrealistic poll ever. I mean its already been stated 1000 times over that the CDs will lie to protect themselves. I mean the almost certain kiss of death for a marriage would be to say you are thinking of transitioning. So why the hell would they admit it. I mean they all LOVE thier wives. LOL. Funny thing is love is not really important in CDing except when it comes to the excuses for not being authentic. I love my wife and [I] DONT WANT TO LOOSE HER. LOL.

[BY THE WAY I have another interesting question. Why is it in the Tri Ess by laws that yoou have to be hetro male? Why do their by laws expressly say that if your are gay, taking hormones, talking of taking hormones, or talking about transition, you are no longer able to be part of the group?

Why is it that a group of people that talk so heavily about the word acceptance and discrimination can be discriminatory against other trans people?

I will answer the question. Because at Tri Ess they welcome wives and as I said earlier they will do anything to protect thier marriage even at the expense of other people and the truth.[/B]

[whowhatwhen]

By the way someone suggested taking a poll to here. Crap that would be the most unrealistic poll ever. I mean its already been stated 1000 times over that the CDs will lie to protect themselves. I mean the almost certain kiss of death for a marriage would be to say you are thinking of transitioning. So why the hell would they admit it. I mean they all LOVE thier wives. LOL. Funny thing is love is not really important in CDing except when it comes to the excuses for not being authentic. I love my wife and [I] DONT WANT TO LOOSE HER. LOL.

[BY THE WAY I have another interesting question. Why is it in the Tri Ess by laws that yoou have to be hetro male? Why do their by laws expressly say that if your are gay, taking hormones, talking of taking hormones, or talking about transition, you are no longer able to be part of the group?

Why is it that a group of people that talk so heavily about the word acceptance and discrimination can be discriminatory against other trans people?

I will answer the question. Because at Tri Ess they welcome wives and as I said earlier they will do anything to protect thier marriage even at the expense of other people and the truth.[/B]

I am A Crossdresser; -defined as an individual, typically a heterosexual male, who occasionally chooses to make a social role presentation considered appropriate for persons of the opposite genetic sex, for the purpose of personal expression, without the intention of entering a program leading to sex reassignment surgery, and without attempting to attract a partner of the same genetic sex.

An international social and support group for heterosexual crossdressers, their partners, the spouses of married crossdressers and their families."

Wow.
Homophobia and transphobia from... transgender people?

[Katesback]

Ya paid your dues eaa? I did as well. And like you I have no desire to re-live that shit all over again. Sadly the CDs that would want to date TS girls are and would be even more assuming and pressureing (than with a GG) on the TS girl that they could do all thier CD stuff as much as they want. The thought of dating is TS is so enticing because the TS will want to play dress up games. Want to have sex with them dressed as a girl. Would want to..............

You get the picture. NO CHANCE IN HELL I WANT TO DEAL WITH IT. I have to give some GGs a lot of credit for putting up with it. I mean that dreaded word called Acceptance is nothing more than a never ending push for a free for all ticket to CD whatever and whenever they want and of course they expect you to participate.


P.S. The post now has nearly 3000 views in TWO days!!!!!!! And I still see people suggesting that CDs that are really TS are a extreme minority!! LOL Why do I come here? Crap where else can you see so much entertainment? Wondering if I should try to go to a Tri Ess meeting for fun. Wonder if they would be ACCEPTING. Opppps sorry I am not a Wive of a CD and I am TS so I CANT GO. They discriminate! LOL

Whats even more funny is that some of the people here say I am mean, bitter, whatever. You should read some of the posts I put in the TS forum. I am far more harsh with those people since most of them have screws loose or missing. Here its more about the lieing and denials.

There is nothing anti-CD about wanting an alpha male. I'm not attracted to feminine men or femininity in general. I like MEN. If my man wants to express a feminine side than he will have my full support, understanding, and acceptance but he won't have me as a lover anymore. I have already paid my dues trying to live my life for other people and those days are over my friend. I stand proudly and loudly as an openly transitioning TS, with no place left to hide and I'll be damned if I'm going to let somebody, anybody pull me back into a closet or give me secrets to keep.

I've noticed lately that it's become kind of trendy for the CD's to claim persecution from the TS's and GG's but I can say with some certainty that if we hated CD's we would not bother posting here. I personally love the idea of a cross-dressing man and I think more of them should be open about it. I think it's fabulous for a guy to have a feminine side and I have met some really wonderful CD's that I am proud to call friends. I would hang out with them anywhere anytime dressed drab or fab.

There is NOTHING wrong with cross-dressing. Every girl will say that it's fun to dress up sometimes and if a guy wants to dress in women's clothes, well why the hell not?

[Nigella]

Why do some members have to make threads so personal, they are doing a disservice to the OP and others who have responded. I really would like to say to some, wind your neck in, its not about you.

sorry OP thread closed