Originally Posted by muzzy
well welcome to the site, you will quickly find that what you thought this site is or what it is supposed to be is not what it really is. If you oppose a GG on the subject of cd's and what and who we are, you'll find yourself bullied by them. You will not win. It's a lovely world
Last edited by ReineD; 04-06-2012 at 12:05 AM. Reason: Edited Muzzy's post for TMI
See...I knew that our stereotype of being passive/submissive/staying in the kitchen and wearing our high heels was a total fallacy. I keep telling men that my vagina does not dictate my personality, but I keep having to prove myself. I'm glad we have one vote that women actually aren't passive little push overs that are obsessed with clothes and being on our backs. (Even though "bullying" is a strong verb for expression of opinions).
I do love contradiction. It seems that when someone does not like something that is done to them (generalizations), they react to the situation with the same response (generalizations). It IS a lovely world.
Back to the line of bisexuality and crossdressing. Someone asked me today if I had a boyfriend. It's kind of weird that many people just assume everyone around them is straight. I mean, I do it too though...I never ask, "Do you have a significant other?" It sounds a little awkward. I was also informed that being "bisexual" is the new "in" thing for women to be. I was unaware.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Oh definitely, it goes something like:
Bisexual women: Doing it for the attention.
Bisexual men: Gay. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Just plain ol' gay.
It is interesting though that submissiveness in men is seen as such a negative thing, anything but the man being in charge of everything means he is a failure and deserves mockery.
I wonder how much damage that has done...
My mom gave up almost everything, I would never ask that of anyone as it's completely unfair.
*halo*
I don't understand why people say those things. I know a lot of girls that get drunk and want to kiss another girl...because, I guess there's a song about it. (?) But, I knew I was a little weird a young age...before I even knew the actual words to describe my sexuality. It is weird for many people too...especially if word gets around in the locker room that you are "gay." So, therefore, you are about up jump every girl you see. (?) What is worse is that I never really knew what it was that made me feel so weird. Sex and relationships were described to me as being between a man and a woman. My parents didn't go into the other technicalities. So, at about age 7-8 (Maybe earlier), I knew I was weird. I didn't know the words for what was weird about me. As I got a little bit older (about 11 or 12), I knew I was into women in a way other women weren't. At about 13, I actually found out what lesbians were....from Cinemax (at night) lol. It was a holy sh*t moment of revelation. It wasn't until a bit later I learned that you could actually like BOTH, and then it was like, "Oh my God...I understand that I am bi. This is what's wrong with me." At about that same time (13 or 14), I was talking to a girl that I knew was a lesbian. When the school started calling her a freak, I pretty much abandoned her and the friendship. Yeah, I was pretty sh*tty. Then, I decided I wanted no one to know.
For some reason, I think drunk college girls that want to try out bisexual for a minute to get attention arent going through the same things. And, usually when a girl tries to kiss me (that isn't into girls), things get a little weird after she realizes that the kiss wasn't exactly the peck or whatever she was expecting. And, then, you have the girls that get totally confused and you have to hear their lifestory about being Christian.
Being "different" usually sucks for everyone in some way. You might as well get used to it now...as sad as that sounds.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
I'll cast my vote with the "bi/gay while dressed" group - in guy mode I don't really think of other males in a sexual way, but while dressed I enjoy gay contact.
So I guess that makes me straight, or bi, or gay. Whatever
I'm going to pipe in here and tell you what I've been told, and what I've observed:
I'm not even going to bother mentioning the dominant/submissive thing.
I was a t a seminar at a transgender conference, and a the speaker did a study was done with over 1000 people (moi included) who identify as transgender. I don't remember the exact specific stats, but the percentage of TG that are heterosexual is in the range of 40-something percent, the TG's that identify as bisexual is also in the 40-something percent. Homosexuals account for something around 10 percent. This study is still ongoing, and I hope there are more like this. It's hard to say whether the conditions for the study were ideal, or whether they actually represent the overall population. That's why more research needs to be done.
Now
My personal observation, being at TG events, gay & LGBT establishments (...i'm a pretty boring hetero guy, btw), and I will tell you that most TG's that I know personally, or have met, are either straight, married, ......or they are bisexual. I know a few that are in open relationships with a woman, but have a bi side. Either way, the number of outright gay CD/TG folks I've met seem to be a bit outnumbered. That being said, it could just be my peer group that I associate with.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 04-06-2012 at 07:25 PM.
I don't know what box to put myself in or what label I should even apply. I'm predominately hetero when en femme or not. Been with other women while en femme on several occasions. But, here's the big but, I've also been with several other CDs on different occasions while en femme and with a couple transgendered women both en femme and in male clothes. On all those occasions, the CDs and the transgendered women presented highly feminine. Now, on the other hand, while I may have fantasized being taken by a man while en femme, when some guys have come on to me I've been really turned off by it (maybe not enough booze, lol).
So, what box am I in, other than the one that says I'm generally happy where I am along this spectrum.
I hope you don't mind that I'm singling out your response, but we often have new wives question whether their husbands secretly are attracted to men, especially after reading many posts in threads like this one from CDers who say they are straight in guy mode but bi while dressed. The writers of some of these posts are indeed bi since they do cite ongoing experiences with men, whether they are dressed or not. But, we have a great deal more posts from members who make this statement without backing it up with actual experiences, which raises the question as to whether or not they might *THINK* they are bi, they might think they have a real attraction to men, based on merely their fantasies of wishing to feel feminine.
Thank you for confirming that no, the reality did not match the fantasy for you and I dare say would not for many of the other members if they actually went out and tried it as well. I can say that my SO also wondered many years ago if she too was bi, and discovered she was not after some real experimentation. :p
Reine
Good Lord, Tara ... please let it go. You were taken to task in the past for breaking forum rules, not because you "went against any GG". Enough already, and stop trolling. I'm warning you.
To Muzzy: you'll find GGs on this site who are supportive while others are having a hard time. Some of the GGs have SOs who are open and honest with them, while others have SOs who go behind their backs and lie. Some people have great relationships, while others don't for many reasons that have nothing to do with the CDing. Please don't listen to anyone here who makes broad-brush statements. Such people generally just don't get it.
It's a fantasy that many CDers have. Come to think of it, lots of guys have it too, who aren't CDers. And yes, there are GGs who are into the domme/sub lifestyle too on both sides of the coin. People have all kinds of sex that isn't vanilla. There's a rather good site called Fetlife you should have a look at. You will see there's quite a variety of sexual tastes out there. I went to a local BDSM demonstration evening once because I was curious. It was in quite a large hall with a few demonstrations, knot-tying, lots of vendors, people into all sorts of different things. It was a public demonstration (for members of Fetlife only) so there was no nudity. There must easily have been 300 people in that room, and I only saw a handful of CDers. One thing about the people in that community: they are up front and honest, they discuss all the rules clearly beforehand, and most of all, they fully respect anyone's boundaries. No surprises. I gained a lot of respect for them.
Last edited by ReineD; 04-06-2012 at 02:02 AM.
Reine
Posting Permissions
