A friend of mine once described the dysphoria and the constant rumination as a cricket sitting on your shoulder chirping, sometimes softly, sometimes loudly but always chirping. I've tried to knock that chirping little f***er off plenty of times too and it never worked.
It took going into therapy for depression to realize that the only way I was going to deal with the dysphoria, the depression, and that damn cricket would be to transition. I still struggle, but I'm starting to feel a certain peace coming over me that I've finally made a decision.
I hope you can come to terms yourself Anna.
