Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
I was wondering if it would be possible for you to go into a bit more detail or explanation of discovering your partner cross dresses verses your partner has hidden, kept things about himself from you and/or lied to you about this. My personal experience and observations of others over many years leads me to believe that is is the lack of honesty and NOT the transgender activity itself that causes the most damage in the majority of relationships. I would value your input on this.
Well, Holly, let me be honest for a second. Let me first say, that after learning everything that I can about it, it is a bit easier to deal with. But, the grit of the initial shock is a little harder to say without feeling guilty. But, I promised myself and others that whatever questions were asked, I would give my honest answer. So, I breathe, and now write.

Thought #1 (Denial) You are joking, right? Pulling my leg? You wanted to get a rise out of me! Silly husband!

Thought #2 (confusion) Wait. You were being serious?!?! Are you gay? Do you want a sex change?!?! Where the hell do I fit into this?!?!

Thought #3 (feelings of judgement) This doesn't happen to people like me! I went to Catholic School! I was raised in a home where my parents stayed together, and still are! This happens to (socially embedded stereotypes) rapists, pedophiles, and people that are mentally ill! This doesn't happen to me! This isn't something that I was supposed to be concerned about! This doesn't happen to a wife of manual labor, blue collar, average joe!!! OMG! What the hell are my parents going to think?!? What is my brother going to say?!?! OMG. OMG. OMG.

Thought #4 (denial) He can get rid of it. It's a disease. It is a choice. He can change it. He WILL change it.

All of those thoughts happened within minutes of the words exiting his lips. I was at a loss. I feel horrible for thinking them now, because I am educated on the issue. I had never thought myself as a simple minded person. I am very intelligent. But, on this matter, I was plain and simple.... Stupid.