Acceptance

[ReineD]

I can't believe I missed this thread. Well, better late than never. :p

All the things that many here think are so much fun become rote quickly. Sort of like all the things that one does in daily male life but more of them. ... I have often thought one quick way to stop a cross dresser would be to say "Ok do what you want do what you will but you will do it all the time and you won't do it half way". ... It is the thrill and total acceptance kills it for many.

I agree with you. I also believe that Sheila is referring to a CD who wants to live full time and who is convinced that she needs to live full time, but finds many good reasons not to: the wife, the family, the job. These obstacles are daunting and they are real, and likely the biggest obstacle for a married CD is the wife. (Jobs can change, and children do grow up and move out). But if the CD loves her wife and the wife cannot see herself in a public relationship with another woman (which is common), the CD can live for years feeling unsatisfied with having to put on the guy mask while being unable to concentrate on anything other than being femme, all the while telling herself that she is making sacrifices for the wife.

So, what happens when the wife removes the biggest barrier and says, "Yes dear, I fully support you, please go right ahead"? I'm not talking about the husbands who know deep their souls they are women (the TSs), but the CDs who WANT to live as women, who may even believe themselves to be TSs, and who can think of little else. Big difference.

I believe Sheila is saying that for such CDs, the reason for not following through in the first place may have nothing to do with a wife's less than perfect acceptance after all, or any of the other barriers, but may have more to do with the CD being unwilling to admit that she is engrossed in the fantasy of it all. And that perhaps the fantasy is a lot more fun than the reality, as is evidenced by Sheila's example of a man who doesn't care to live full time when given the real opportunity to do so.

Caveat: not for everyone, of course ... just for the people who fit this scenario.

I am amazed how many bemoan how their wife or SO doesn't do this or that all the time. And yet in real life they don't put any effort in looking good for their SO (ever wonder why women look at a guy in a suit and their eyes light up? Because that man took time to not pick up an old T-shirt and sweats.)

On a separate note, .... how true.