Well this is as good a place as any to jump in. I was going to stay out of this one because it's clearly a CD issue, but the above quoted comment sparked an interest.Originally Posted by Kerigirl2009
I'm one of those that doesn't think the average CD has any reason to come "out" at all. Let's face it, many CD's are doing it for a sexual thrill so coming out is tantamount to announcing how you get your jollies. Frankly, somebody's masturbation ritual is none of my business and I don't want to live in a world where people aren't allowed that most basic sense of privacy. HOWEVER, there is a distinct difference between coming out publicly and coming out to yourself. I say stuff like this alot and I realize it might sound like new age silliness to some but I want to make clear the difference in being closeted and simply being private.
The above quote illustrates something that I believe to be endemic among CD's. They believe they are indeed LESS than a man, that who they are is shameful at best and perverted at worst. They are ashamed of who they are and what they are compelled to do. The whole idea of coming out is as laughable as it is terrifying. Like they would actually admit their shameful deeds to real people. People they know would be horrified at the deep dark secret, the hoax of a relationship with someone they thought they knew, and people they don't know would surely be disgusted at the very site of "it", the grotesque amalgam of a man and a woman. Even those that venture out would only do so as long as they feel confident that their identity is safely hidden under the wig and makeup.
What concerns me is not the prospect that CD's will not come out publicly, but that good people are living tortured lives because they just can't come to grips with who they are. This self hate is far more dangerous to themselves AND the community than being closeted could ever be. I don't want these people to come "out" physically, I want them to come out of their own prison. To come out of that place that contains the guilt for doing nothing but wearing clothes, or for fantasizing. There are many things about one's sexuality that are worth keeping private, or among like minded friends, but sexuality should never be considered shameful. The fact is as long as there is shame, then coming out to ANYONE is rendered impossible. Your own shame and distaste will actually influence your presentation of the material. People will sense your shame and try to "help" you instead of support you. On the other hand, people will sense your pride and joy and they will accept if not support. Everybody loves a good time and they love spending time with happy and contented people. After all, we invented the word eccentric for the sole purpose of describing crazy people that we like.
No, coming out is not for the timid. It is reserved for those who have truly come to terms with who they are and have learned to find happiness in it. I think it's perfectly reasonable for the average CD to remain closeted, my only wish is they are able to come to a spiritual place where they can freely make that choice, rather than let fear and shame decide for them.
