Any chance of finding a girl who is ok and maybe even intrigued by this

[Simply Joslyn]

Now I've been doing this pretty much from the age of 13 strait till now, even though I can recall my first instance at 5, anyway I'm 19 now and I've kinda really held back from finding a real girlfriend because I crossdress and I'd be afraid of the consequences if she ever found out, but all I want to know does anyone know if there are girls around the same age that would actually be fine with this and if so how can I find them without going out en femme. Its a little hard to hide you aren't a girl at 6' 5". thanks for your help in advanced then

[RADER]

Hi and welcome'
I found my wife of 18 years now on a blind date. My first wife did not go for the dressing.
In any way shape or form; After 9 years we where divorced.
I introduced my wife early on in a subtle way. We where watching a awards show on TV, and I
commented on a dress I saw, I said something like Wow, If they made it in my size, I would
like to try it on.
A week later, she asked if I had any dresses, I said no, just skits and tops. Go put some on,
I did and the rest is history. I married her about 3 months later.
Rader

[pickles]

Yeah, the trick is not to hide it.

I've found girls that were interested, and I live in Oklahoma.

Find clubs/bars in your area where it's accepted and go dressed up and talk to girls.

Dress as androgynously as you can day-to-day since you never know who you'll meet...

Make an OKcupid profile with both guy and girl mode pics.

You get the idea.

[Jorja]

At 19 you have a lifetime to worry about finding a girl that likes crossdressing. I would think with the way attitudes towards girls like us have changed in the past few years your chances are better than ever. Of course to find her you have to be where she can see you, not tucked away deep in a closet. And what if she is a few years older? You will find that love is love no matter what the age.

[Cynthia Anne]

There's always hope! Just be honest and patence! Hugs!

[kandice74]

please dont give up hope or settle. im a total girl ...a very girly girl in fact...and love my guy more than anything in this world. he dresses on average 5 times a week and although we still and probably always will have our struggles we very much love each other. I agree with the other posts...honesty is the only way.

[Vickie_CDTV]

To offer a perspective on the other side, I can tell you finding a GG who is accepting, much less participatory is a pretty tall order; it isn't something most GGs find attractive, and it isn't the kind of thing many GGs would willingly sign on for. If you have male-esque things going for you, handsome, successful, well educated, have a nice car etc. your odds will improve, as it would for any cisgender male. If you have any strikes against you to begin with, it will be much harder with TVism in the mix. Not all of us are able to find GG partners, I sincerely hope that is not the case for you, the loneliness can be very painful.

Even with that said, honesty is the best policy and is the right thing to do; she has a right to know what she is signing up for in a partner.

[Simply Joslyn]

I enjoy the truth thank you and I suppose I have the patience and years to wait until I can find the right one for me

[Krististeph]

listen to pickles- she is wise beyond her species.
get it out in the open within 2-3 months of sex.

if she leaves you, i promise you she is not 'the one'. better for both of you, just keep trying- chicks have an innate tendency to be decent to each other,

[Jessica86]

Welcome to the site! You are 19, and most may not understand....talking about this is a huge step. For that, I congatulate you. I have been dressing for 20 years, and I'm only 25. Is it possible to find a woman who is accepting? Very possible. Is it possible to find one who participates? Slim to none. I met my wife, and did not tell her for a while because she was the first woman I actually felt.....compatable with. I felt complete because she did things for me nobody had done before. After I told her, we hit some rocky roads after she participated for a bit. It went from she was ok, to ok and participating, to not ok, and back to accepting and participating. Now, after knowing for over a year, she says she is glad that I do it. She loves it, but Jessica does not come around a lot. Remember, a woman wants to be with a man if she is dating you. Some may find it interesting to have a best friend and a boyfriend in one. Just tell them from the start. If I had to do it over again...I would have told my wife from the start. It would have made things so much easier. I wish you the best of luck with everything, but remember it is definately possible. I had a relationship with a girl who participated before my wife. It was a different kind of participating.....I will leave that alone. It didn't work out at all, and now I'm with my wife. We've been together six years this year, and married for three of those. Anything is possible. Never give up.

[kandice74]

very well said jessica!!!!

[lilith.comunera]

Good question.

I had this girlfriend for a short while who liked me CDing, she once said that she would let me be with other guys if that made me happy. She is Bi, so Im sure that made her more accepting. Anyways since we broke up after what was just like 3 months, I don't know if she was like that because she didn't love me and didnt care too much or what.

But the conclusion anyways is that its good to be honest, and you never know! although I did have another girlfriend who broke up with me precisely because of that :P

[Joanne f]

Yes i would say that there is a very good chance of you finding someone who will accept you for who you are as your age group is far more accepting now but you just have to go a little bit careful how you go about it, if you are looking for a long term relationship , first of all tell no lies that will get you nowhere but that does not mean come straight out with it as pier pressure can sometimes stop a girl getting to know you just simply by the remarks their friends make , so get to know them first and you can always give little hits on your feminine side and build it up as the relationship grows but as i say if you are asked a question answer it honestly that is the only way to build trust and that will go a long way in build that relationship up and in my opinion even more than looks which you say you already have ,(lucky you )

[mscatie85]

Trust me there are GGs out there that accept and love crossdressing men. In their eyes it's like having the best of both worlds, a man to satisfy all her womanly needs (emotional and physical) and a girlfriend. Your crossdressing should not stop you from dating. I mean if they find out (either by accident or intentional) and they have a negative reaction then you know they are not the right person for you. This also means that you shouldn't settle on an accepting GG if your not compatible in other ways. If your looking for something long term, remember the key to a successful relationship is honesty. This does not mean you need to reveal all up front but you do owe it to your partner to tell her before things get too serious. Trust me you will know the right time to expose your secrets. Good Luck.

[Miriam-J]

Yes i would say that there is a very good chance of you finding someone who will accept you for who you are as your age group is far more accepting now but you just have to go a little bit careful how you go about it, if you are looking for a long term relationship...

I agree with Joanne that your chances are much better given the much greater openness of your age group (vs. my 50+ group). But do you really want your clothing choices to be at the center of your relationship? Start by looking for someone with whom who can really connect on many different levels, just as you would even without crossdressing. Your conversations should reveal if she will be open to a variety of lifestyle choices. Once the relationship has shown sufficient promise, but before it gets too serious, there will be a time where each of you can share your inmost secrets. This is the time to share about your crossdressing, but only in the context of what it is (and is not). If you can make it past this point, and you can accept her secrets as well, the future may be very bright in many ways.

One caution: At 19, many of your peers will not respect confidentiality, especially after a relationship breaks up. Be very certain about the respect for confidentiality of your partner before revealing. If you can't gain this confidence with anyone, just wait a few years - people tend to get much better about respect for privacy as they get to their mid 20s. I know, this seems a lifetime away, but it's really not.

Miriam

[Tina B.]

First Midnight, let me welcome you to the forum. Now as to your question, if you read a lot of post around here, you will see there are a lot of us that are happily married, with wives that understand, or accept, or tolerate or enjoy us as women. But you will also see there are many stories of heartbreak. But it is an expected idea around here, that your generation is much more open and accepting than those that went before you, so I think your chances are good, if you take you time, and find a girl that is open minded.
Tina B.

[Sheren Kelly]

Relationships are complicated multidimensional things. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and your partner. You have to have a solid foundation built on honesty if you hope to last through the long run. But also realize that being transgender is only one aspect of you and your relationship. If you are compatable on many levels, you can find a compromise of the few things you aren't compatable on.

That being said, I have met women who find crossdressing an interesting varriation of sexuality, but very few who actively encourages their partners cross dressing. Remember that a relationship is give-and-take and you should be prepared to work at any relationship.

[suchacutie]

They do exist and they are worth looking for!!!

My wife just stated that I must be in Tina-time deficit as it was a long week.

If you find some that aren't excited by your femme self, move on and don't look back!

And Welcome!!!

tina

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Wow to be 19 again, just be true to yourself and to any partner you meet. The best policy is honesty from the start, that's the only way you can be sure she is right for you and you are right for her. I am happily married for 27 years and only told my wife after 19 years, needless to say it was a shock to her and she felt betrayed, she says that it was as if I was living a lie for 19 years and she was right. We are still happily married and she is pretty accepting but I can't help thinking it could have been better for a long time or it would have not lasted or ever started if I had told her up front, at any rate I owed it to her to be honest from the start. The rest was just being selfish on my part.

[reflections-of]

There are many women who enjoy having a boyfriend who is a crossdresser. I have many friends and girlfriends who have accepted me and love me for being me. Just be open and honest about who you are. I told my present girlfriend I dress, did drag the night we met. On our first date I went out dressed. She is accepting of who I am and loves me regardless whether I am in a dress or a suit.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

[busker]

Yes i would say that there is a very good chance of you finding someone who will accept you for who you are as your age group is far more accepting now but you just have to go a little bit careful how you go about it, if you are looking for a long term relationship , first of all tell no lies that will get you nowhere but that does not mean come straight out with it as pier pressure can sometimes stop a girl getting to know you just simply by the remarks their friends make , so get to know them first and you can always give little hits on your feminine side and build it up as the relationship grows but as i say if you are asked a question answer it honestly that is the only way to build trust and that will go a long way in build that relationship up and in my opinion even more than looks which you say you already have ,(lucky you )

Perhaps you and Lillith were writing at the same time, and as she is THAT AGE GROUP, it doesn't appear that your suggestion is on the money. Kids of that age group here in the US use a phrase "that's so gay" so it isn't any more likely that they are accepting that the rest of the world. There is a lot of pressure to conform in that age group and bigots exist at all ages.

[Alaina R]

A few decades ago when I was 21, I told my 18 year old college girlfriend about it. She was totally unfazed and helped me dress and actively participated in it. I was so relieved at the time. The nice thing about 18 year old girls is if they are really into you they will make a lot of allowances. Note: I did wait until we had gotten pretty close before telling her. We broke up a year later but that was not the reason and she never told anyone - she just didn't think it was that big a deal. As I went through life I did find a lot of woman do think it is a big deal so I don't want to minimize the difficulties. Still I have since been with a couple women who seriously like it - including my wife. We've been married for 10 years and she considers my crossdressing a major positive in our lives. So, yes, there is a chance of finding a girl who will love you as you are - all of you.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Kids of that age group here in the US use a phrase "that's so gay" so it isn't any more likely that they are accepting that the rest of the world. There is a lot of pressure to conform in that age group and bigots exist at all ages.

While I do agree that there are plenty of closed minded kids, I do think there's a lot more young people who are more accepting of stuff like this than there used to be simply by virtue of the fact that it's more prevalent in society than it used to be. When I was in school there was only one kid who was openly gay and he was very much an outsider. I substitute taught at the same school just 5 years later and there were a bunch of openly gay kids.

The "that's so gay" phrase seems to have little to do with actual sexuality to most of the kids who use it.

[Vickie_CDTV]

My relationships are pretty unique (perhaps unique to this entire forum), but I think there is more to it than the generation the women grow up in. Older women (late middle age+) have more life experience and are more likely to have "seen it all" (if that makes any sense.) They tend to shed the more superficial expectations of what they want in a man; not necessarily a matter of lowering their personal standards, but the superficial things mean less. They tend to be more appreciative of love and attention and are willing to overlook things young women who can find a mate much more easily might not. I am not saying that older women necessarily dig TVs by any means, but they tend to be more open minded when it comes to a mate. I was turned down by women my age when I was young because I was not "man enough" for them; the older women I have been involved with it wasn't quite as big a deal for them. Again, that is my experience, others mileage will vary.

[mika]

A few decades ago when I was 21, I told my 18 year old college girlfriend about it. She was totally unfazed and helped me dress and actively participated in it. I was so relieved at the time. The nice thing about 18 year old girls is if they are really into you they will make a lot of allowances. Note: I did wait until we had gotten pretty close before telling her. We broke up a year later but that was not the reason and she never told anyone - she just didn't think it was that big a deal. As I went through life I did find a lot of woman do think it is a big deal so I don't want to minimize the difficulties. Still I have since been with a couple women who seriously like it - including my wife. We've been married for 10 years and she considers my crossdressing a major positive in our lives. So, yes, there is a chance of finding a girl who will love you as you are - all of you.

I ve been very lucky a lot of my friends are female & find my crossdressing a positive thing, one woman let's me borrow her clothes & even goes shopping with me, I think crossdressing is so much more enjoyable when women enjoy it too.