Mrs G and Sierra

I told my wife of 15 years around 16 months ago about CD'ing. We have 3 kids and are pretty close. She doesn't have a problem if I dress around her but not around the kids and we don't go out locally. Our CD'ing is possibly similar to what Reine describes for her partner but earlier (only been out a few times shopping, concert and stuff).

From what I have read you have got the whole pink fog thing going on. I did it as Reine said, soon after telling spouse (breaking out of 2nd closet). Everyone does. What you need to do Sierra is take a good long hard look at yourself and work out what is relevant and what isn't. To give you an example when in the pink fog I would get my chest and underarms waxed, paint my toenails, have clear polish and tried to grow my fingernails longer, tried wearing mascara, light foundation and a neutral lipstick / lip gloss. Well after a little bit (a few weeks) and also a swift kick up the behind from my wife reminding me about the "pink fog" I dropped most of the stuff. I still do wax chest and underarms regularly, I rarely paint my toenails (haven't done for 2-3 months), and even rarer still I might put on a smidgen of mascara if going out somewhere. The other stuff though is just, whatever. I'm not obsessed by it either way. Yes I do do the whole lot if going out girl mode so to speak.

One thing I would say (though PLEASE do not take this as a recommendation or that you should do it) is that after going out for the first time (i.e. Reines 3rd closet) and no one really pointing going "ew, freak" I actually found the pink fog thing less of an issue. It was like "oh, OK, I can do that and turn that switch on when I want to" so I became less obsessed about trying to be "feminine" on a "daily" basis. (NB: I am also fairly self confident so I pretty much came out of closet 4, i.e. interacting with people, at the same time as closet 3, i.e. just going out).

It sounds to me like you guys need to really sit down and have a good talk and work out some agreed common ground and some agreed boundaries. There needs to be give and take from both sides and there will be some things that work and others that don't. As always the key really is communication.