Chances are I am TG. But I am routinely getting flustered with the forums method of arrangement.

I have had one thread deleted, guess it was too honest (in the Lounge). I don't really mind, it was just a comment, I thought I kept it civil, but a mod didn't like it and I have always felt, it's just a post, someone was unhappy with it, no real loss so no real reason to complain about staff deleting it.

I have had a few threads moved, and I really wasn't bothered by it, I just can't seem to pick the right forum very often it seems though.

I recently had a post deleted just because it wasn't considered relevant to the thread, and personally I thought it was, I tried my best for it to be so, but I guess it was deemed not. But I came away thinking there are places here I am simply not welcome.

And I am not 100% sure I am TG, because I am not as of yet sure I am not suffering from two actual different personalities. Just because I don't conveniently fit into psychiatric terminology, doesn't mean I am not an example. Until I find out what the shrink wants to talk about, I am leaving the labels alone.

When I post I often wonder, am I a cross dresser?, because it isn't something I just want to do 'occasionally' regardless of magnitude.
But also inside of me there is a guy, that wants to be a guy, an all guy type guy, and not at all interested in giving away his male parts not to mention not interested in female clothing. Leslie is not me though.
Leslie is the reason I can't get rid of the male parts. Me, I'd rather be a female, and an all the way female even if I believe an all the way female is never an option. Because just removing my male parts doesn't make my body magically female. You might greatly adjust the appearance, but Leslie's bone structure isn't going anywhere for instance. Leslie can't become entirely female regardless of how much Lesley (me) wants it.

I don't think I belong to any of the forum categories actually. It sure plays hell with my trying to post. And it gets annoying, because I pour myself into these posts, and then next morning I discover 'oh it got deleted'. And all that effort is gone. This isn't a game forum where all I am doing is blathering about the latest game. It's not a tech forum, nor a science forum. And every single post I have submitted was very important to me.

I might feel happier if I had a Transgender section I could belong in.
But I might be happiest if there just wasn't as many subdivisions.
If you ask me, every last one of us is a crossdresser, because every last one of us is wearing the other genders clothing. A guy wearing girls clothes is identical to a girl wearing guys clothes in the context of this community. But a lot of us are not wearing the other genders clothes for amusment. Right now I am genuinely bummed out that I will likely always look peculiar in women's clothing. I have the capacity to be honest with myself. I DO NOT HAVE BREASTS. I HAVE MALE SEX ORGANS THAT ARE NOT EASY TO IGNORE. And I simply have too many male anatomical features. It sucks.

It really depresses me, that in spite of how incredibly blunt I have been in comments to friends, they can't really seem to believe I am not the guy you think I am.
They seem to actually behave as if I have never said any of the things I have said on Facebook for example.
It's almost like if they don't accept it, it will just not be so.

I want to be able to show up at my friend's place, for an afternoon of playing Civilization on our computers and then a great steak dinner, and do it in a nice dress or a skirt and let it be HIS problem that it looks like he is dating me to an outside observer. Gee Bill are you queer for Les? Are you two having sex?
I want to be sitting at the game table and be sitting there dressed as a girl, and as a girl and not have to explain why my role game character is a girl. It's because I am a girl you moron. Why are you playing a male character?

I have yet to find where I belong here at Crossdressers.com which I might add, is a site name that is not entirely useful to some of us.