Best I can remember; there was an episode of The Time Tunnel [Late 60's] where Tony [Dr Tony Newman] had to put on a wig and dress for something. Maybe hiding from the bad guys? [I think that was Time Tunnel ?]. Anyway it caught my attention. I was so excited that he would do that, just like I did with mom's stuff.
That's when I decided I wanted to be a Time Traveler. lol
i didn't find others like me until now, here in these forums, and in other reedings.
i allways felt different and alone.
very few people knew of me TG , like my sister, and a friend's mother in my late teens ( she was a single mother of two girls and boy and she asked me up front ).
but i never even imagine the many many TG people and the willing to help and tell theirs stories.
I was about ten years old and put on my sister's panties and was hooked. Then awhile after sometime I saw Jim Bailey on the Ed Sullivan show and he blew me away. That a man could look that good as a woman.
I think I was 13 when I first read about Christine Jorgensen; but I knew about gay people when I was about 10 (we had a gay neighbor). I knew I was screwed up when I was 8, because I knew a boy shouldn't want to wear girl clothes, as it wasn't 'normal' because people on TV were made fun of for it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
My cousin and I "dressed up" in the mid '70s. He was very deeply into it then. I just did it for fun. My mother frowned upon it and told me to stop hanging around my cousin because "he isn't right in the head." A few months ago, I got into a pair of women's panties when I grabbed my wife's accidentally (she put them in my drawer) and a whole lot of memories came flooding back as I wore them all day. I did some research on line and ended up here. My wife knows, she even gave me some jeans that didn't fit her any more. We don't talk about it much, I just wear what I wear.
I first read about CD items advertised in porn magazines. So, naturally, I assumed u were ALL pervs like me!
When I found this site about 5 years ago, it was complete revelation for me! Not only aren't u pervs, you're MOSTLY exceptional people! And, I mean that in a good way!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
About five years ago when I was I was looking for a program on google for a CD Jewel case printout software so I could label all my disk cases and their contents. I came up with this site and realized I am not a freak at all, there is a whole lot of us out there.
Well I used to play in some very seedy night clubs and every now and then I would see someone and think wow you are not by yourself after all. That was in the 60's. I would also go to New Orleans occasionally and you would always see someone there for sure. With the internet and this forum I have been able to actually talk about it without fear of ridicule and for this I am truly grateful.
Marilyn Monroe: I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
[SIZE="2"]I’m not a Baby Boomer per se – more like a cross-generational being, since I was never meant to be here in this form, at this point in time. Try as they might, I will not submit to generational labeling. That being said, I never assumed I was the only crossdresser in the Universe, but evidence to the contrary was scanty at best – I set about collecting any and all examples of MtF crossdressing, storing them in my mental scrapbook…[/SIZE]Originally Posted by ColleenA
[SIZE="2"]These days I completely dismiss DRAG for what it is, a comedic misrepresentation of female appearance, done purely for laughs at the expense of women. As such, I avoid these famous public (and thus sanctioned) versions of MtF, for they have done US much harm – as soon as I don my female attire everyone thinks I’m making a joke, and you can blame Flip Wilson, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Dame Edna, Dustin Hoffman and several others for instilling this idea in people’s minds. I avoid drag like the plague it is, and I had to look in to other cultures for a serious depiction of MtF crossdressing, bereft of absurdity and beautiful in its simplicity…[/SIZE]Of course, men in dresses had been a comedy staple since forever, with such things as Flip Wilson's Geraldine or "Some Like It Hot." But to see the concept taken seriously? Wasn't that kind of a revelation?
[SIZE="2"]Ms. Jorgenson was a TS, so that’s another matter entirely – people, meaning “normal” people, may understand transsexuals, but when a boy dresses as a girl for pleasure, yet remains a boy in all but appearance, this is very hard for outsiders to understand. There is no joke forthcoming, and there may be no hypothetical “woman inside,” so where do we place our intrepid explorer? It took me many, many years to discover the hidden truth about crossdressing – I knew it had to be there, and, since I don’t believe any opinions or viewpoints that I hear or see in the media, I just kept looking. Conformity hides non-conformist activity, or pushes it out of sight, and we all suffer for it. In the end, I just cultivated my own garden and arranged my thoughts in support of this tactile splendor I call crossdressing. There is nobody quite like me, so I carry on…I had heard of Christine Jorgenson, but knew virtually nothing about her, so her story was abstract to me.
[/SIZE]
Excellent post, Freddy. I'd just like to take issue with one thing you said:
You were meant to be here in this form, at this point in time so that all the rest of us could get to know you.
Best wishes, Annabelle
I was in college and being the typical 20 something year old I took a Human sexuality class so I could maybe SEE naked bodies (pretty bad really considering I had been married to a Playboy Bunny by then) and the Professor basically told us that whatever we liked or wanted to do was OK (pre-HIV era) and as long as nobody got hurt then it was natural. We covered everything and when he got to the trans part, he discussed drag through transsexuals. Of course I knew about the drag queens, they were silly over the top GAY guys. I knew about the Transsexuals who had surgery (which at that time was basically nullification with very little reconstruction). I didn't know your could be in between. I was still convinced that what I felt would just go away but I also learned I wasn't the only one who felt they had been born in the wrong shell. Prior to that class I only "knew" Tg's were perverts or wackos. Then came AOL chat rooms...and the rest is history
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
It took a very long time to realize what a cross dresser was, let alone ever see one. Yes, I remember the flap about Christine Jorgensen, but, remember she transformed into a woman. I remember the slapstick comedy about men wearing dresses. You have to remember comedy is comedy. It is not real life. Growing up, cross dressers were perverts. Until the Internet opened up factual material concerning cross dressing, I figured I was in that category. And, it wasn't until this site that I realized I was not alone. Don't ever suggest to your wife or girlfriend to research cross dressers without a good pron filter activated.
Must have been the same article, but I think I was much younger than 8th grade. In fact, I didn't know I was a CD yet. My mom said, "didn't you know about men wearing women's clothes"? The article in Life must have been the early '60s, but maybe my timeline is off.Later in the '70s I found some info on transvestism and transsexualism in a psychology publication that helped me understand more about it. I also saw a few crossdressers in town grocery shopping or in the park during the '70s which made it more obvious that I wasn't the only one.
Oh, and I was surprised when Walter Carlos became Wendy Carlos. Sex change op was hard to comprehend at that time.
Last edited by Ressie; 06-01-2012 at 03:35 PM.
I remember back in the 70's when the show Medical Center has an episode about a transsexual doctor. I saw the summery in the TV Guide but was afraid to watch the episode becuase I didn't want anyone to know I had interest in transsexuals.
and as I remember when they did those shows they used a GG for the part. It always made me think I was never going to fit because after all starlets in LALA land are not what I look like dressed
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Wow, so many examples; so little time...
- Back in the early '60's when I was still a young teenager, and reading about people like former G.I. Christine Jorgensen and French performer Coccinelle (Jacques Dufresnoy) who had both undergone sex change operations. These stories were usually featured in cheesy tabloids of the National Enquirer variety with their shocking, screaming headlines and lurid pictures. They were also among my first indications that there might be others out there with inclinations similar to mine.
- Stumbling across a paperback book entitled "Sex Life of a Transvestite" in the most unlikeliest of places - a "mom and pop" type of convenience store circa 1965 when I was 17. It was a real eye-opener for me. The book is no longer in print, but I've attached a link to the amazon shopping website where a reviewer has provided their opinion of it.
It pretty much mirrors my own recollection of the book, and what I find awesome is how far ahead of its time it was. Not only did the author make it abundantly clear that he was completely heterosexual despite his fondness for female attire and presenting himself as his alter ego "Connie" in public - it provided the kinds of insights into this subject that we are still discussing on this forum almost 50 years later as though they were new revelations:
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-life-trans.../dp/B0007H9KZ2
- Back in the '60's and '70's, and '80's, advice columnists Ann Landers and Dear Abby would occasionally publish letters from crossdressers or family members seeking advice. At the beginning, neither Ann nor Abby were very conversant with this topic, were either ambivalent or negative in their comments, and simply regurgitated the typical misconceptions. To the credit of both, they eventually educated themselves properly concerning this complicated topic, and did a complete 180 degree turn compared with their previous views. They also ended up apologizing for their less-than-helpful past advice, and actually became very empathetic and supportive of crossdressers once they realized that we were not some type of perverts, but just regular people - albeit with a "special" gift.
- Seeing female impersonators and impressionists like Jim Bailey starting to appear on mainstream variety television shows such as the Carol Burnett Show (or comedian Flip Wilson's "Geraldine" character, for that matter), and being surprised by the overwhelmingly positive audience response that they received.
- Reading the first newspaper articles about Thailand's "katoeys" (ladyboys") back in the '70's when they were still very much an unknown quantity.
- Starting to see the topic of crossdressing addressed more and more frequently on the '80's and '90's talk shows and generally handled in an informative, empathetic, and non-sensationalistic manner. Phil Donohue, Sally Jesse Raphael, and Jenny Jones were probably the best at this, Montel Williams, Ricki Lake, Rolonda, and Jane Whitney were somewhere in the middle, and smarmy, smirking Geraldo Rivera was dead last (no surprise there!). Sadly, we have gone backwards from those more enlightened days when talk shows treated the whole topic of crossdressing in a more balanced and informative way. We are now left with the likes of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, whose appeal is primarily focused on the bottom end (read: "redneck" segment) of the viewing audience, and just reinforces their inherent ignorance about this topic. Thank you, television networks, for your current infatuation with "Reality TV".
- Seeing more and more magazines such as "Ladylike", "Tapestry" and "Transformation" devoted to crossdressing appearing in adult bookstores, with the latter actually breaking away from the pack and onto mainstream newsstands because of its overall quality and positive branding.
- Following the Penthouse "Letters" inspired versions of "Forum" and "Variations" magazines throughout the '70, '80's and '90's and reading the letters allegedly sent in by crossdressers describing their experiences and particular turn-ons.
While most of these letters were/are likely made up since so many of them sound the same, what always struck me was the fact that whoever was behind them invariably appeared to be well-versed in the subject, and were therefore likely crossdressers themselves. It seems more than coincidental that they were always so factually "bang-on" in the stories they told, and often mirrored by own feelings, fantasies, fears, and insecurities in that regard. I would expect that only a true "insider" could have that degree of insight into this subject - just like my fellow posters here.
- Then, of course, along came the '90's, together with with the explosion of the Internet and all the information available in it on it. The rest is history...
Last edited by Leslie Langford; 06-01-2012 at 07:46 PM.
As a boy, browsing in bookstores in the Psychology section reading about boys who crossdressed and had fetishes. That only let me know I wasn't the only one. I remained alone, acting on those strange desires, pretty much into young adulthood.
Beth Mays, I'm sorry, but I don't understand your response at all. Can you clarify?
Someone who is TS may be another matter from your perspective, Frederique, but in my posting, I posed the question for both CDs and TSs. I did so not only because both are present in abundance on this site (granted this thread is in the MtF CD section), but also because throughout the process of trying to understand themselves, many people who don't conform to society's binary gender standards must distinguish between what a CD is and what a TS is (as well as what a homosexual is) to best sort out where they fall.
As evidenced by many comments and stories on this site, it can take someone a while to sift through these distinctions and come to terms with who they are. That is true even today, but I believe it was so much harder in the "dark ages" before the internet, when we were grateful for any scrap of information that might come our way - ergo, my original question.
For myself, I remember at 15 or 16 considering the question of whether I should be female. After serious reflection, my answer was a very clear "no." And the few times I have pondered that question again, including last year, I've always arrived at the same conclusion. But I do feel it is productive and realistic, as well as important to one's peace of mind, to at least confront the issue.
(Wow. Reviewing my reply, it sounds kind of harsh. Please don't take it as an attack on you, Frederique. I really just intended to use your comment as a springboard into explaining why I posed the question to all.)
Leslie, thank you for this comment. I had forgotten how important each and every one of those letters were during my teen years.
One that I often think back to - although it was printed later, when I was in my late 20s or early 30s - was from a TS who said she hated anytime she had to use the boys' restroom at school. She was embarrassed even just walking in there. Her comment went off in my head like an atomic bomb. I had never imagined such a perspective. That one letter showed me the magnitude of difference between me, who merely played at being female, and someone who truly was female, irrespective of how their body caused them to be classified.
Robert Reid, Mike Brady from the Brady Bunch played the transsexual in this episode.
Ugh! I had a neighbor, a boy much older than me, that transitioned in the mid-1970's. It was awesome to know that somebody I had actually seen with my own eyes was like me, but she was fired from her job as a teacher and the neighbors in my blue collar neighborhood weren't very nice. Then I remember finding a psychology book in the school library that basically said I was a sick freak. Finally, I worked in a store that sold porn, and any trans portrayals were pervs, ****s, or submissive's! All great for one's self esteem!
The internet is a bunch of crap for the most part, but for giving kids like we were the ability to realize they are OK, it is a blessing.
Debby
Debby
Nicole, your comment about remaining alone reminded me of a poignant short story I read on fictionmania a number of years ago about three casual friends in 7th grade. After school one day, the friends say goodbye, then each heads home. We see each one, once at home, pulling out a secret stash or sneaking into mom's closet and proceeding to dress up. The story ends with each regretting the feeling of isolation their "hobby" prompts. After all, who could possibly accept that they cross-dress?
So I don't post here much, but this chat that i have read is real, and it is nice to read this. I have dressed femme at home for as long as I remember, and the internet is key to chatting with nice people that do that same. However, in the past, rooms existed that we had to fend off the trolls, but that was fun, and we won, which was fun. Us girls used to chat about the win... nice.
[SIZE="3"]Amy[/SIZE]
I don't know how in the world I missed that but I did. I was a fan of Her music (and , it goes without saying, BACH as well) but for some reason never made the connection to Walter.Must have been the same article, but I think I was much younger than 8th grade. In fact, I didn't know I was a CD yet. My mom said, "didn't you know about men wearing women's clothes"? The article in Life must have been the early '60s, but maybe my timeline is off.
Oh, and I was surprised when Walter Carlos became Wendy Carlos. Sex change op was hard to comprehend at that time.
It was a June day in 1958. I'm 12 years old. I'm sitting in the yard reading the afternoon paper. There's an advice column written by an MD. The column headline read "Transvestism". Dear Doctor, my husband likes to wear my clothes ...... That's when I knew (1) I was not alone and (2) I was mentally ill. Knowing I wasn't alone made me feel good, but it took decades before I knew I was mostly sane (although deep inside there's a little part of me that things I'm still a bit crazy... )
Not until 1994 when I got my first computer and AOL. Before then I only knew of DRAG queens, gay prostitutes, and serial killers, from TV shows and movies. I knew I wasn’t any of these and thought that I was alone.
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