Lola, i can only relate what I am doing along a similar line, and hope that the two of you can sit down and determine exactly what he was thinking and going to be doing. doing in violation of an agreed to boundary. And yes, sometimes our pink fog gets the best of us and we do dumb things, seldom maliciously.
About 8 weeks ago my wife went from a supportive, dress whenever, to a total DADT position, and wanted nothing to do with any mention of dressing. In my mind I took this to mean as long as it was ket from her I was free to do my thing. I went out 4 times, as posted here.
Well, Sunday night she wanted to talk,and she said she was ready to talk about it, and wanted to be included in knowing how i was progressing (only dressing for 9 months). She wanted to know what I had been doing, so i told her. She reacted as expected to my going out, and set a boundary that I would not leave the house enfemme to go out in our town. I was free to drive to another town, get a room, and dress and go out. She has serious issues with a friend seeing me in our town, and it impacting her/our position. I totally support this, and given her desire to discuss and know, and let me go out if I choose, it can work.
I know that the two of you can talk this out and determine exactly why he thought it was Ok for him to go out. He should be willing to recognize your boundaries and work within them. Sit down and be honest and make sure he knows your comfort levels, and can live within them. You need to know his desires/needs, and reach an agreement you both can live with.
Barbara
