I think something as contentious as going out fully dressed en femme, when the wife is safely at work is implied betrayal. To say that there was no agreement is IMO splitting hairs. There are lots of things in life and marriage that arent specifically gone over with a fine tooth comb, its just obvious what is expected.
For example - when you get married, its fairly well implied that you are not going to sleep around. You dont specifically agree not to do so. If you decide an open marriage is what you want, then you would brooch the subject and discuss it. You wouldnt expect to just go ahead and sleep with the nextdoor neighbout and then say "well you didnt say I couldnt" would you???
Lola was, by implication, lead to believe that her SO's dressing was "bedroom fun" - therefore the implication was that it was going to stay in the bedroom. Something as fundamental as going out fully dressed 'in secret' when she wasnt around is pretty sneaky - that's not just 'not sharing every detail' that's downright deceitful. Lola may have been absolutely ok with her husband going out dressed but she wasnt given the opportunity to say yay or nay.
You cannot seriously expect a wife to say what she is ok with if she doesnt know what there is to be ok or not ok about. The onus is on the husband to say what it is he is wanting from the dressing and then discuss with his wife what she is ok with - and take it from there, regardless of what the intention was or where the husband was going when he was dressed. IMO that is slightly irrelevant in this case. The issue here is something being done deliberately behind the wife's back. I would be pretty damn miffed about if it happened to me and I am very accepting of my husband's CD'ing. I would add that my husband would not do this without running it by me first anyway.
