Hi Linda,
If you pass easily and no one in the bar thinks of you as other than female I would think the ladies room would be proper. But if you don't feel comfortable and are noticed as male then go to the men's room. If your wife accepts it and allows it in the future you will find the key to passing is attitude. I go out female all the time and often alone, using the ladies room. I walk confidently and even make chit chat on the line when there is an intermission at a concert we often go to! Good luck Linda and let us know how it goes!
