Goodness you are defensive with a capital D.Originally Posted by Frédérique
[SIZE="2"]One more thing – a shell is just a metaphor. You assume I’m in a shell that I have created for myself, but, from my vantage point, I don’t detect the presence of a shell at all – you’re TELLING me that there is something wrong with me, and, on this point, I beg to differ...
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In fact I am NOT saying there is something wrong with you. Just the opposite actually, and when I used the term TG I was using it in the umbrella sense of all gender variant people. I fully understand that a good many (probably the majority) of CD's identify as men who just enjoy expressing some femininity or maybe just enjoy the clothes for whatever reason. That's great, but a LOT of these people are experiencing some soul killing guilt over this expression. You are apparently aces with your life the way it is and if so, nothing I say is of any interest to you but there is somebody standing in their bathroom right now in front of their mirror trying desperately to admit to themselves that they are cross-dressers and they are sick of being ashamed of it.
Have you been reading my whole posts because I make it pretty clear that the crux of this whole issue is self acceptance. I believe strongly (and possibly wrongly) that shame and humiliation are born from self hate. I think that acknowledging to like minded people that you enjoy cross-dressing is not the same as accepting yourself and in fact sites like this can be dangerous to the psyche because they can forestall or prevent self acceptance because they let the person believe that because they participate in forums that they have accepted who they are. The reality is quite different. There is a difference in keeping things private and keeping secrets. Everybody knows I poop, but nobody is likely to see it or hear me talk about it. It's not a secret, but it IS private.
You strike me as somebody who is fiercely independent and most likely not in need of a social acceptance. I'm very similar and I think that many of us have learned to cope with being shunned early in life by retreating into ourselves. Most people are NOT like this. Most people need other people and keeping deep dark secrets is not a healthy habit. I've also said that coming out is a very personal thing and every person will have a different methodology as well as different motivations. The ONLY thing I keep coming back to is self acceptance. I know it sounds trite, but when you really achieve it, you have a whole different idea about yourself. Purging for example doesn't just stop, it begins to seem ridiculous.
There is NOTHING wrong with cross dressing. There IS something wrong with being creepy and secretive.
