Feeling rather blue and depressed
Well, just last week, after many years of denial and hiding, finally told my wife about my CDing. Well, let me just say that this has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Since that day, it’s been nothing but day after day of painful discussions, sleepless nights, and sadness. I understand it is my own doing for hiding all this time, yet there is part of me that was hoping to find at least a certain level of understanding and acceptance. So far I’ve found neither. I don’t fear for my marriage. I know and feel we both love each other enough to overcome this bump in the road. Nevertheless, her reaction has been nothing short of total rejection when it comes to CDing. Not once have I gotten the feeling she is trying to understand and help me cope. Not once have I received the slightest hint she can accept this part of me. Since we had the talk, her reaction has been akin to someone dying. All I am asking of her is for acceptance, not participation, yet this appears to be short of impossible to her. I am at the point where I’m ready to give up. Not on our marriage, but on myself. Don’t know how to cope and move forward…
