Are you a "tweener"?

[ReineD]

A posting I read today encouraged us to think about ourselves as "one" rather than two separate personas. I think Bree made the comment and I've been thinking about that.

I think this is a good idea. You are just one person, with many different facets. We all are.

I think that separating a "femme" side from a "guy" side might be a necessary coping mechanism for a birth male who was socialized as a male, to protect his/her more feminine facets from being trounced while growing up. But, I don't believe this is a recipe for happiness in the long run.

My SO considers herself dualgender, which is not something that many people understand. She has learned to live outwardly in a manner that people do understand (alternating gender expression among different groups of people, namely keeping her feminine expression private at work, with her elderly parents, and with our more conservative friends), all the while always being the same person internally no matter how s/he is dressed. The hair and fingernails are the same, the walk is the same (almost lol), the thoughts, the preferences, the emotions, the philosophical beliefs, the playfulness, the analytical mind, the sense of humor, etc are all the same, and this works admirably well no matter her mode of presentation. The only thing that changes is makeup, breast forms, and clothes, which takes her very little time to put on whenever she feels like it.


Edited to add: Come to think of it, the same things change for me when I get dressed for a nice evening out .. not forms, but I put on makeup and more stylish clothes.