Oh, I disagree. My SO who is middle-aged is anything but tacky when she goes out. She does not wear super tight clothes, skirts or dresses that look good on a size 4 college girl, or stilettos (aka f***k-me shoes). lol. I think it's entirely possible to dress in a way that blends, while at the same time indulging in a love of fashion, since there are so many fashion choices out there.
Just so you know, none of my female friends dress like this either and I would also not be caught dead in a getup like that. I did go through a phase of dressing like that (two or three times) early in our relationship when my SO and I were going to drag shows, but this was at a night club and not in the mainstream, also it was short lived. It just wasn't me.