There are two types of being out: to everyone you know, or to strangers only. Which "out" do you mean?Originally Posted by Cassandra86
My SO goes out on a regular basis in the next town over. She is, therefore, out to strangers and also to some of our more liberal friends, but she is not out to her parents, my parents, her sibling, her nieces, her coworkers, her students, and some of our more conservative friends. She is also not out to her neighbors, since her neighbors know some of her coworkers. She does not go to the grocery store down her street, since she doesn't know who she'll run into. She does not want the people at work to know because she feels (and I agree) that her coworkers would cease to take her seriously, and many would have a good laugh at her expense behind her back. Advancement in her career might also be affected, and there is even the risk of losing a job. Some of her students might think it was cool, but others would be creeped out. My SO does not want her gender to be a distraction in her classroom. And last, my SO has no desire to transition and live full time, so there is no need to expect her parents who are in their 80s, to wrap their minds around this.
My SO does not have children. But if she did, she would not want her children's friends' parents to know, since this might cause the more squeamish parents to not allow their children to come for sleepovers. My SO also would not want her children to be teased at school over their father wearing dresses.
But, if my SO was a transsexual and was planning a full transition, there would be no choice other than coming out to everyone.
