Passing vs. Looking good?

[Marleena]

I think everybody knows how I feel about "passing" by now.:D

Don't pass go, don't collect 200$ and try to blend instead.

[Foxglove]

My situation is perhaps a bit unusual, given that I live in a small town where everybody knows me. No matter what I looked like, I couldn't pass.

It doesn't matter. People treat me well. That's the main thing. When you're out in the world as yourself, interacting with people as yourself, and they're all being nice and accepting, then it is a real buzz. It makes you feel good about life.

It's not really about passing. It's about living. If you're being yourself out in the world, that's what makes you happy.

Annabelle

[ArleneRaquel]

As long as I fell that I look good I'm satisfied, being passable is something that I'm not concerned about at this time.

[Beverley Sims]

I think if you look presentable and look good as a dude in a dress, it messes with peoples minds enough for them to let you pass.

[Lorileah]

I "own it" most the time. I am past caring (or I don't care if I pass?). Head up, walk like you know where you are going and smile.

[Debra Russell]

I Pass, I pass, I pass, I pass, Ipass I pass, I pass, I pass, I pass, I pass ----my mama told me I could have anything I wanted - If I wanted It bad enough, I pass, I pass --- delusional minds are a intriguing study.......................Debra

[I Am Paula]

I "own it" most the time. I am past caring (or I don't care if I pass?). Head up, walk like you know where you are going and smile.

I'll take the acceptance of those around me over passing anytime. I used to obsess about it, but now I just do my best and go with it. -Celeste

[ReineD]

I still would love to try a transformation service just once to see how close or really how bad it would be.

Transformation services or makeovers are great! My SO had it done once when she was at the BeAll in Chicago, for a photo shoot. But, you can't go out in the mainstream looking like that. The makeup was for photography and it was way too extreme to wear out and about, my SO would have been read as a drag queen. They had her skin taped taut into her hairline and put a big wig on her even though she has her own long hair. She had a lot of fun with it, but she doesn't use any of those pics as avatars anywhere because this isn't what she looks like in real life.

[rachaelsloane]

I'll take the acceptance of those around me over passing anytime. I used to obsess about it, but now I just do my best and go with it. -Celeste

I have to agree with Lorileah and Celeste, acceptance way overrides passing at this stage in my life. I dress well (receive a lot of compliments) and act natural and relaxed while out, but most important, I HAVE FUN.

[ReineD]

I think everybody knows how I feel about "passing" by now.:D

Don't pass go, don't collect 200$ and try to blend instead.

Just curious, what's the difference between passing and blending?

To me, someone passes best (in other words she does give the impression she is a guy in a dress) when she adopts clothing within the usual range for the venue as the other women who are there, and she doesn't try to plaster on the makeup which would make her stand out. Isn't this "blending"?

[Marleena]

Just curious, what's the difference between passing and blending?

To me, someone passes best (in other words she does give the impression she is a guy in a dress) when she adopts clothing within the usual range for the venue as the other women who are there, and she doesn't try to plaster on the makeup which would make her stand out. Isn't this "blending"?

Passing is something very few can accomplish. It's not getting "read" by others even in close up social settings. Blending is easier to achieve and is when you know you'll get read up close and personal but you go enjoy yourself anyways but you try not to call attention yourself by dressing age and venue appropriate..

[ReineD]

Passing is something very few can accomplish. It's not getting "read" by others even in close up social settings.

OK, you mean being stealth. I agree, this is difficult to accomplish for most people, unless one is transitioning with HRT & FFS, and even then it takes awhile according to a few who are going through it.

[Lynn Marie]

BUT...who cares? Ultimately, it's just about looking good (however you choose to define it) or, put a different way, being happy with how you look. I posit that it is entirely possible for a genetic male to wear female attire and other accessories (makeup, jewelry, etc.) and be an "attractive" person. You may never avoid the dreaded, "hey, that's a dude!" But I believe it's entirely possible to be pretty.

Thoughts?

[SIZE="3"]Very well put dear. Couldn't have said it better. I know a few CD's that I'm sure can "pass" on a good day. They just have the right combination of facial features and paint to make it happen. The rest of their bodies are suitably dressed to accentuate the best and to minimalize their "not so attractive" features.

Me? I just do the best I can and avoid "looking" for those unapproving looks, amused grins, and those expressions of surprise. If I'm there, I "own" the place with a caring and friendly attitude. I'm out for fun, and I'm very fortunate to have it in spades.[/SIZE]

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Part of the ability to pass is how you act and respond to others.Confidence in who you are weather or not you are a GG or not.
Dress the part and act the part and most will see you as a female.Sure some will read you and thats fine act dignified and proper.

THIS! What Tracii G says... is spot on.

I'll add that no matter what you are trying to portray, be it in real life or on stage, CONVICTION in what you do will get you past most people without a notice I do it every weekend.

[Luna Nyx]

i want to do both to be honest.

[Julogden]

Nothing but an enthusiastic thumbs-up from me.

Carol

[Angela Campbell]

I don't know if I pass or not. No one has ever reacted badly to me. I kind of think some people may wonder but are not sure enough to actually say anything in case they are wrong. Thats good enough for me.

[famousunknown]

I think passing is very important if you're going to go out shopping as a woman and try on women's clothes in the woman's fitting room. Or if you use a crowded women's toilet. I pass 95% of the time but what gets the best passable crossdressers read is that sometimes we all have distinct male facial features that still come out and get you read.

I tried on clothes in the women's fitting room many times and sometimes women would walk around braless and I'd see their tits... So they sure would panic and get pissed off if they found out I was a man.

There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change. That would be a big disaster for me if I was them. I don't consider a sex change or messing around with hormones because ultimately no man made operation can make me a REAL woman with a real vagina and periods.

This is interesting.
You say: "I pass 95% of the time"
And then you say: "There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change"

Maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself and see if you're really as passable as you seem to think you are, before passing judgment on others?

[CarolynO]

I think everybody knows how I feel about "passing" by now.:D

Don't pass go, don't collect 200$ and try to blend instead.

Exactly Marleen,Get out of jail free should work too

[Marleena]

Exactly Marleen,Get out of jail free should work too

Yep we'll need the get out of jail card if we don't dress properly. The fashion police are out there!:D

[Ceri Anne]

I find that young Cd's in their 20's often pass very good, and those in their 60's. It seems in the middle we have a tendency to have harder faces and broader shoulders. Young men often have slight features and softer faces. I have seen some who easily pass and could be models. Older women get looser faces, wrinkels and such. Thats makes it easier for us to pass if we are age apropriate. I am 50, and dress for 30, and most people say I pass very well. I don't beleive I pass undetected, but I do feel I look very nice despite my broad shoulders and bigger gut than I would like. Gotta loose that 30 lbs....lol.

As you said, the important thing is to pass reasonably, look and feel pretty, but not nessary to pass completely.

[KateSpade83]

This is interesting.
You say: "I pass 95% of the time"
And then you say: "There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change"

Maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself and see if you're really as passable as you seem to think you are, before passing judgment on others?

Yeah, I pass 95% of the times, but I stopped going out as a woman often because I got used to it. I went to a crowded women's bathroom in Galleria Mall Houston and passed. I got read a rare few times. And it's true what I say about some other people here - they are not passable yet they are going through a sex change. - My point is that they're setting themselves up for a difficult life after a sex change, because they are not passable. SO I'M HELPING THEM OUT INSTEAD OF CRITICISING THEM OR LOOKING DOWN ON THEM. And I don't mention who they are so no harm either.

[Violetgray]

Yeah, I pass 95% of the times, but I stopped going out as a woman often because I got used to it. I went to a crowded women's bathroom in Galleria Mall Houston and passed. I got read a rare few times. And it's true what I say about some other people here - they are not passable yet they are going through a sex change. - My point is that they're setting themselves up for a difficult life after a sex change, because they are not passable. SO I'M HELPING THEM OUT INSTEAD OF CRITICISING THEM OR LOOKING DOWN ON THEM. And I don't mention who they are so no harm either.

Kate, some people have only 3 options:

1.) Transition
2.) Be unhappy until they die
3.) Die

That's IT. So warning someone that they don't pass will do zero for a transitioning woman but make her feel self-conscious and afraid. If she's a true transsexual she's certainly not going to be stopped by not being able to pass. It's a NEED, not an interest.

[Nicole Erin]

Kate, some people have only 3 options:

1.) Transition
2.) Be unhappy until they die
3.) Die

They could also work for secret service as a crossdressing agent.

[Nikki50/50]

Why should there be a difference in the two?