There should be no negative outcome because medial doctors are supposed to be professionals. If you doctor reacts negatively, then he/she is most likely a fundie with an upbringing that is rooted in back-woods, fundamentalist thinking. From all of the conversations you have had with your doctor, you would know by now if he is a fundie.
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
I hear this from a fair number of people, although by no means all. I'm happy for you though. I hear from a lot of people that when they accepted this about themselves, they felt a lot better. Still waiting for that for myself.Originally Posted by Tracii G
I keep hoping I'll wakeup one day, and it'll all make sense, and the magical journey of self discovery will begin.
Or maybe my magical journey has already begun - but mine involves tears and screams. Magical tears! Magical screams!
I dunno.
The one thing I will say is that I've made up my mind to push forward through this, instead of trying to fight it. I've been trying to fight it my whole life, and it hasn't worked out so well. Unfortunately, some part of my brain did NOT get the memo, and it is fighting - hard.
I will say that I'm not feeling especially guilty about this anymore, at least, anymore so than I am about the fact that my pancreas doesn't quite produce enough insulin.
I haven't come out to my family practice doc, yet, but I haven't exactly hidden it either. I have worn panties to exams for years, discrete but clearly women's, and my legs, chest and arms are shaved of what little hair there is. She's never asked, and I haven't volunteered because I didn't have any physical or emotional problems to address. Still, I have an annual wellness exam coming up and I am seriously considering mentioning this to her.
You have known this doctor for at least 30 years. And your wife for at least xx years...
And yet, you have no idea how each will handle it. And THATS the thing about people. No way to predict how they will handle it and YOU, unlike many here, realize that. Is it possible your doctor already knows or suspects you are not quite "100% guy"? Any shaving, mannerisms or anything else over the years he might have picked up on? Sounds like you have a great Relationship with him and in your case I don't see why you could not tell him first. He has probably seen it [who knows how many times before] in others. I mean, is there really any accurate way to know just how many folks have gender issues?
Last edited by Wildaboutheels; 04-05-2013 at 02:58 PM.
I'll be interested in hearing what he says about this. Although I've really been pretty CD free for most of the past 20 years (the last year or so has been an exception), I have had other issues, including a period of a year or so, several years ago, where I had some impotence issues. He was of the opinion that my issue was mostly psychological. And he was probably right. I've also had periodic bouts of anxiety that never really made any sense over the last 20 years. I mean, there were usually external stressors that triggered them, but they were bad. There may be other stuff I haven't thought of, that he noticed.
As long as he's been in practice, I can't imagine I'll be the first TG person he's had as a patient, although I don't know. Guess I'll find out.
I don't believe that any of us have gender issues. I believe that the problem lies with the general public and the gender binary that is forced upon males in this society. It is society that has issues.
I, personally, wouldn't offer it up unless it pertained to an issue. If you have a clean bill of health, CD may be your secret formula. If the anxiety is affecting your health, then it is a health issue and should be discussed -- "this is, of course, confidential."
My dr was very positive. She referred me to a post-op M2F doctor to address a specific issue I was hashing through. Meeting her was an intense experience to say the least.
I'm sure your dr has heard stranger things before, and many TGs in his lifetime. You won't be the first.
Tell your Dr. you'd like a consult with a shrink due to new anxiety issues that have lasted more than two weeks. That should be enough to justify it.
I told my doctor and basically he said SO, he didn't care, and I am still seeing him.
I don't think your doctor has anything to do with this.... you are fretting about coming out big time which in this society is huge. To me telling your wife is first and foremost as that can change, and you know this, your whole relationship and most likely not for the better. Figure out the emotional things you're going to have to deal with as that will be family first. If you're truely going through with the whole change then it would be very important then to tell your doctor as you will be changing your body with medications which he needs to know about and will have recommendations. He may even send you to a different doctor and one better equipped to deal with the change. I'd be nervous as all get out in your position and so do see a phychiatrist who may be able to help you and give you some meds to calm you down as you go through this. Good luck!
Wouldn't it be intresting if you decide to tell him and he comes out and tells you that he also enjoys dressing. What a revelation that would be. Nowadays you don't really know who's living right under our noses
Paula my dear friend. By all means yes, yes, yes tell your medical provider. For a Doctor to truly treat our patients holistic we need to know many things about there personal history its not just all about your medical history for those of us that really want to help our patients. And yes if he's been in practice any length of time he most surely has come across other TG people. On a final note confidentiuality is not only the ethical thing to do but it is also the law. That said you should never have to worry about your information getting leaked to some source you don't want it to be told to.
Best of luck as you step out into the world in all areas!
Xoxo.....Sam
Our deepest wishes are the whispers of our authentic selves.....respect them and learn to listen.
Well, of course I understand that, but those laws do vary from place to place. In the United States, HIPAA laws may allow the doctor to tell the OPs wife, for example, if the appropriate permissions have been given. I don't know where the OP lives, and I don't know the laws of every "civilized" country. My comment was merely out of an abundance of caution, i.e., not wanting to give incorrect legal advice that could get someone else in trouble. That's all.
That's how I took your comments Karen. I appreciate your concern, and caution is never a bad thing - we should all be cautious. I appreciated your input. I've appreciated everyone's input in this thread.
This is a good question that has a lot of answers. Does the Dr. need to know one is transgendered or does he only need to know you have physical/mental ailments bothering you right now? Your therapist definitely needs to know, as they are helping you with that specifically. Not totally sure the Dr. needs to know unless there are other things going on that stem from being TG.
Given that, a question I have relates to the distribution of this information. It must go on your permanent medical file. This file is viewable by all other physicians you use who need your medical info to treat you. If I go in for a knee replacement, will the orthopedical surgeon have open access to that information, and do I want them to have it? If you make an insurance claim, does the insurance Co. have access to all your medical files, and can they use that info in any manner? I don't have an answer on these.
Hugs and good luck to you Paula,
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
I've been going to my family practice doctor (PCP) underdressed, bra and panties since I started seeing her. Nothing has ever been said in either annual wellness exam or office visit when sick, my feeling if she don't ask I don't tell. But if my dressing was causing me problems I would ask for a refferal to cousnelor btw wife and family know.
Last edited by wilt575; 04-08-2013 at 02:04 AM.
You could split the difference, and tell your doctor you are having issues with stress and ask for a referral for a therapist. Then, you could discuss your TG issues with the therapist.
One thing I'd wonder about is the fact it might end up in your medical record, and given what is happening with healthcare today who knows who will be allowed to see it, or how secure those records will be kept. I know my medical records state I am a TV somewhere in there, makes me wonder who could get into those and find out about me... not something I worry about per se, but it makes me wonder.
Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 04-06-2013 at 05:14 PM.
having a GID diagnosis can impact your ability to get health insurance and the rates you'll pay if you are not on an employer plan.
I have told almost every one around me. My wife, my doctor, my therapist, it is how I got here. My family immediate and other wise all know. I was better off that way. I am full time and have no other male clothes ro wear. I will probably not have SRS, as it is costly and my former male self is too old. I would love to have FFS that would help me. I attend group therapy and one one where. I am on medications for HBP, Diabetes and more. Anti depression med and Spironolactone. I am going to be fine, if can keep on living a bit longer. I came out at work as well as at home. I don't think I'm gay. I love women enough to be one myself. I'm happy now after 60 years. You don't have to do what I've done but you should work on it.
Lov all of ya
Tess
[COLOR="blue"]Contessa Marie D
I'm TG. A fem-male so I look male sometimes.
Dressing is necessary, the type of clothes you wear not so much.
This above all to thy own self be true!
If you tell your wife, all that pressure goes away and you won;t need to tell your doctor.
Jennifer, I hope that's true, but I am afraid I am having fairly real and serious emotional problems, and there are a couple of other possibilities here, at least:
- my wife doesn't respond well, in which case my anxiety level goes up
- regardless of her response, I am suffering from some amount of GD
I've had a couple of other emotional breakdowns in my lifetime, and there is a very real chance I'm heading for another one. Maybe it isn't GD, and I'm suffering from some other mental health problem. But the signs I'm seeing remind me of places I've been before, and I think have the potential to be serious.
My hope is that if she's accepting, this will ratchet down the crisis I'm having, and let me explore whatever this is more gently. But I may well still need medical or psychiatric care.
Hello Paula
The CDing is relevant to your mental health, and your GP should know about it. If you are referred to a psychiatrist, s/he should know about it as well. Maybe you should tell your GP about it as practice for your wife. They are bound by privacy laws.
Arbon, a GID diagnosis is unlikely to have an impact in a country like Canada where the taxpayer funds medical care.
I don't know about that. Does the practice use a computer to log the patients info? Has that computer been connected to any internet or intranet? If yes to any of these the information is not secure at all. With the changes in the healthcare laws who knows who will have access to this information. I have heard that the government will be asking for certain things from Doctors. Insurance companies too will have access to this info.
One question. I have heard it said that a Dr. would need to see the records of a patient sometimes. How does he or she get these records. Do they have to know the other doctors involved who the patient has seen or is there some kind of network where they can get this info? I have never been asked by any Dr. who I went to before.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
YES! Absolutely you should tell your doctor. He or she may not know exactly how to deal with your situation, but the doctor can help direct you to professionals who can help you find resources to help you sort out your situation and what's best for you.
There are actually medical and genetic tests now that can be used to help determine if there are physical reasons for your situation.
You don't state your age in your profile, but depending on your age, you could be experiencing a number of emotional issues that come with confronting your transgender identity.
Some transgenders experience a range of secondary issues ranging from acute depression, even becoming suicidal. Others become dare-devils, engaging in high risk behaviors.
Some turn to drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sex, or even prostitution. Many have trouble adjusting to living two lives, and have trouble being situation appropriate.
For many of us, coming out comes with a flood of regrets, wishing we had done more sooner, angry at ourselves and others for living in secret for so long.
I remember telling several doctors in the 1960s and 1970s, including a psychologist, therapists, and medical doctors, and they just blew me off. They had no clue how to treat the condition, or how dangerous the condition could potentially be if left completely untreated.
Today, the medical profession is far better trained, and transgender issues have been a key focus of the recent APA conventions for psychologists and psychiatrists.
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