In my first marriage the ex knew before we got married, and she supported me. But then children came along and she wanted me to stop. Well, any CD will tell you that's almost impossible. That's where I had to hide it, and the tension mounted. Our marriage became strained because this started to affect other parts of our marriage. After awhile neither of us could take the tension and we ended up in counseling. This was in 1980. Back then the counselor was expected to "cure" me and she bagged up all of my girl things to put in the trash. I almost cried. Yeah right! I abstained but I just couldn't stop. It wasn't long after with arguments and all that she was filing for a divorce.

After I got an apartment, I made some out of town discreet shopping trips for a couple nightgowns and pantyhose and pantys. I felt awesome and alive again! It was a wonderful feeling.

Now in my 30's I dated a few women. A couple knew after I just laid bare my soul. We're still good friends BTW and one was even an Avon sales rep who later helped me. Another even gave me some of her gently used clothes. Then it happened. I started dating the lady who is my wife today. I very cautiously felt out her attitudes and eventually told her I had a condition that has been with me all my life. I also told her that I can't change it---it is my personality. And if she wanted to end the relationship I would understand. We both then started painting and pointing out the positives of the relationship we already had. Our attitudes about the rest of life were very similar. In time our relationship grew around the whole spectrum including my GID. Eventually she was buying things for me and we were enjoying the secret part of our lives.

I'm not going to give any advice. Everyone and every situation is different. At least I was able to bring many other qualities into our relationship with my CDing as an aspect of it. I think she's happy knowing that we have financial stability, a nice home that we've fixed up together, I have no interest in other women, I'm not cruising bars, etc.. That's where my CDing is a harmless activity. I only mention this because there are worse things a wife could be worried about.

I will give some advice though. A marriage is built on mutual trust. Should a partner suddenly discover the CDing, it could possibly raise other questions as in, "What else are you hiding from me?!" I know it's risky but for anyone like us forming a relationship with a woman, I found that honesty and sincerity is the best policy before walking down the aisle. My wife once told me that was the best thing I did along with us both divulging other things. It has caused me to overcompensate, which I don't mind, by treating her like a queen, acting responsibly, respecting her feelings, and overall making her life the best it can be. In return she loves and rewards me.-------often with something she thinks would look nice on me. :-)

I hope this helps especially for those entering into a relationship.

Cheryl Ann