Out

[PaulaQ]

You insist that the town in general would be hostile to you should you transition. Are you absolutely sure of this? I would have imagined that the malicious tongues are going to wag anyway, either about your transition or about your leaving. They won't have the need or opportunity to make up outright lies about your leaving the family home. Wouldn't things calm down after the initial furore?

Yes, I am absolutely sure of this. This community is mostly older people, and it is conservative, and most of the people are fundamentalists. Religion is very important here. There is also a very good measure of poverty, which breeds a certain amount of intolerance as well. This is a nasty combination. Gossip here is a full-contact sport. My wife sells real estate. She could very well be shunned and lose business - lots of business - because of me. Gay people in this community (and I know four of them) are barely tolerated, and they need to be very stealthy - it needs to be plausible that they are just "two really close friends." (Nobody really believes that - but it's important to be able to pretend that.) Despite this, they still get a fair amount of grief and some people simply will NOT deal with them.

There is a reasonable probability that I could face physical violence here. Certainly I'd face a lot of social hostility. I'd also cause a lot of shame for a number of my friends here.

This is one of the worst places in the continental US to transition. I've been told of a couple of trans people from here - they left.

The nearest support for someone with trans issues is 50 miles away, as is the nearest hospital I'd trust to see me should something go wrong when I start HRT.

I've talked to a LOT of people - NOBODY thinks it would be a good idea for me to stay here. I also don't really believe my wife is going to handle watching me transition anyway.