Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
Just for fun, let's turn the tables a little bit here. You find an SO. You become a couple (maybe marriage but in any case you are together 16 years). Then you lose your SO. While you are together you ask if she was ever married. She says "no" so you don't ask about children. Yet when she dies, you find out she was married twice before and had two children, that she kept hidden from you.
That is an interesting analogy, but there is one fundamental difference between the crossdressing scenario and the marriage with children one. It is not a societal taboo to be married or to have children, in fact the opposite is true. Where the two are similar, though, is that the wife may have felt ashamed that she couldn't make the marriages work, and didn't want to scare off a potential husband, so she hid the truth. Depending on the ages, my concern would have been with her abandonment of the children. It is easier to hide a crossdressing habit than visitation with your children