Welcome Jenn
How would you feel if your wife sought out another man on CL for whatever reason?
If I were your wife I would be hurt by that first off and the lying about dressing.
My trust in you would have ended right there.
If she says she isn't hurt its my guess she is hurt deeply.
Last edited by Tracii G; 08-06-2013 at 07:50 PM.
Indeed, it's not a big step to see that maybe she's asking you not to dress as her way of hurting you back? I've seen that pattern of behavior....Originally Posted by Tracii G
Actually we have a sexually liberal marriage. On her side. She does sometimes meet men for flings, and it's fine with me. She is not quite able to handle me sleeping with other women. Which is ok with me because I only want her.
And Bev and I are strictly friends and I have been completely open with my wife about her.
Did she suggest this for herself, or did you encourage her to go out and find other men?
It started out when she started her job and was based in a different city than we were living in. I did not encourage her to do it, just said it was ok if she did.
Even though we're in the same city now she still does from time to time, but it's on her volition, I have never suggested it
I never said it does. It's why I didn't mention it in my original post. This is a totally different thing, not tit for tat.
Last edited by Di; 08-07-2013 at 06:23 AM.
Saying it was OK for her to and then you saying you want only her? How in the hell does that work?
I may be wrong but it smells like you have been on the sly for some time and feel guilty that you sleep with other women so that why you say its OK for her to sleep with other men.
Last edited by Tracii G; 08-06-2013 at 11:49 PM.
Thanks for explaining, Jenn. Maybe she feels guilty about her outside activities, and that leads her to be even more restrictive toward you. It really does seem as if counseling would help you guys talk about all these issues and how you really feel. On the other hand, if she refuses counseling and refuses to really discuss how to meet the needs of both spouses, then maybe, as Flent suggested, she's already checked out of the marriage. Sorry things aren't going well right now.
Just so you know... Not everyone evolves, changes, progresses - call it what you will - or WORRIES of what may be down the CDing line for them.
You don't seem to fit this category.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...IED&highlight=
Hi, I'm dense sometimes, but I can't quite figure out which category you meant by "this", the category that does worry or the category that doesn't.
To be honest, before posting yesterday, I wasn't worried. I had basically gotten what I had wanted by just going out and having fun drinking with a friend.
I didn't start to worry until people started telling me I should worry. So now I'm not sure if I should be worried or not :-/
While I will try to seek counseling and hopefully convince her to join me eventually, I don't necessarily agree that a sexually liberal marriage is indicative of a serious problem. First, I wouldn't call them relationships, it's basically based purely on sex so it's more akin to a fling. And it's not very frequent, maybe 1-3 times a year.
Further, we've fully discussed it to a degree where we're both comfortable with it. For her it's just the excitement you can sometimes experience with sex with a new person, and I'm fine with her enjoying her sexuality in that way. I actually find the fact that she is such a sexual person even more arousing to me.
As for me, she is a bit more jealous and is a bit more reluctant to allow me to do the same with another woman, but she has said that she understands it wouldn't be fair to do that and forbid me to. She said if I had an opportunity to do so, tell her about it, and she will try and see how she feels about it. However, that's not been an issue because I've had no opportunities and haven't really sought them out.
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 08-07-2013 at 04:27 PM. Reason: multiposting isn't allowed posts merged read the rules please
Run for the hills, dear lady. Run for the hills.
She doesn't like what you wear, she can sleep with whoever she wants, and you can't wear what you want nor sleep with who you want. You can't even sleep with HER because she spends so much time out of town.
This is a doomed marriage. Walk away now, before it hurts more.
Forgive me if I'm going to be very blunt and negative here after reading the entire thread. I see and predict a train wreck down the tracks. The complexity of all that is and has been going on is a red flag in too many ways. Your wife is highly resistant to accepting your dressing and unless something revolutionary happens, I really doubt that this will resolve itself. This may well become a constant struggle for both of you and any supression is only going to boil over at some point.
My first wife sort of accepted it with me but then other factors came into play that are too numerous to mention right now. In the end we divorced. Today I have a wife who knew on about our third date and fully accepts me.
I really hope you can resolve this and maintain your marriage. At on your own at least speak with a counselor---the best advice I can give. I remember after my separation I asked mine if I would ever meet a woman who could accept me the way way I am. He said, "Yes, you will." And I did.
Cheryl Ann
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