Isha,

First off, I think that you and your wife are an inspiration to a lot of the girls here. Why?

In one of your posts, I believe you said something to the effect that going into combat was easier than going out because you are going out as a team. I remember reading that incredulously and saying to myself, “Really, are you kidding me.” And yet here you are out twice in a very short period of time.

I also remember in one of your posts that you could not have your picture out in the public. I am so glad that you did not deck those guys. I suspect that if police mug shots are not part of the public domain, it doesn't take much to get access to them. Whatever the provocation, it is not worth tarnishing 17 years of military service. I am not sure if there is also the risk of reduction or loss of your pension as a result of such an altercation. Anyway, something more to think about. I just read Princess Warrior. If I recall correctly, one of the Navy Seal Team 6 members who bagged Osama Bin Laden, after 17 years of service has no pension because he left the Seals. Now that just seems so wrong to me on so many levels. But that is a different discussion.

For those who go out, there are two camps. Those who have not been called out and those who have. Unfortunately, over time, most of the first group ends up in the second group.

I belong to a T-Girl group and one of the girls had a similar incident which she posted. I could not find the post. But she handled it a little bit differently. She was in a restaurant with a bar. As I recall she was talking on her cell phone when some drunk farmer, sitting with his wife, called her out across the restaurant. Initially she just ignored him, but the farmer kept taunting her. Finally, she slowly turned around and looked straight at him and said in her male voice something like “what is your problem, that I am talking on my cell or that I am wearing a dress?”

Now insecure people really hate that awkward silent period, especially if they have been called out. Eventually they will fill it with some dribble. The more the farmer dribbled, the worst he looked. The patrons at the restaurant were riveted to basically the farmers diatribe. The restaurant staff is ready to intervene on her behalf. She finally says something like, “lets not ruin everyones dinner. Lets just have management choose which one of us should pay and leave” and stares at him. He finally says “F...it, lets go.” Her parting remark as the farmer and his wife are about to leave...”and I hope you have a son just like me!”, probably with a tilted head and a coy smile. Management told her she was welcome back any time and the farmer was not.

In summary, she acknowledge that she was a cross dresser and took the verbal jousting directly back to her antagonist in a public forum.

What I found fascinating about your post was when they followed you and your wife out and Isha walks over for a man-to-man talk. Your professional training gives you a skill set and more importantly a mind set that most of us do not have. In an emergency, most people flee the scene. Yet first responders, because of their training, go rushing in to serve and protect.

Anyway these guys seem like old high school bullies who grew up, but never matured emotionally. I have no background in sociology or psychology, but I suspect that they were really surprised you had the backbone to take the verbal jousting to them. Based on the dialog, it sounds like your lines were cleanly directed at their male insecurities and more importantly, delivered face to face. I suspect that there bravado was waning when you walked over to them engaging them in verbal jousting. It sounds like it totally waned when the talking stage is over and it is time for action. Talk is so cheap.

I see a little psychological warfare going on here. One against three, not very good odds. At least one person is willing and very confident to put it all on the line face to face, now. One side has given the other side something to think about, something with an unpleasant outcome. I cannot imagine thinking and fighting go hand in hand especially if it is hand-to-hand. It is not only what you said, but how you said it, with confidence and as a matter of fact, that also gave them second thought. After the fact, it is always easier to come up with the line never thought of at the moment...”but someone is going to wish they never tried. I have instructed my wife to call for ambulances if this goes down.”

It is not stated in your post, but my reading between the lines is the leader, or at least the mouth piece, had already been picked out. If fists flew, I assume, depending on proximity, he would have been the first to go down. And if he did go down quickly, the “spirit” would have left the other two.

If I could rewrite the fairy tale ending to your post...”Before they left, I couldn't help but say in my somewhat femme voice "Now boys, lets be grown ups. No hard feelings. I believe we owe the restaurant an apology. How about we go all back in apologize and have that drink.”

Ballsy yes. If anyone could have pulled it off, I think Isha could have. It takes a lot of practice and confidence to go out. Just need to transfer the confrontation confidence you displayed to Isha confidence and you will be out and about.

Be safe. Love reading your posts.

Hugs,

Sophie