The love that dare not speak its name…

[Katey888]

Thanks all of you for responding - just a few quick comments

There are more boys presenting as girls now, whether they're CD TS or whatever. They're starting younger, they're prettier, and more public. They're supported by their families and friends and are the beneficiaries of (limited) legal protection. Far from universal acceptance, but far ahead of where it used to be.

Rhonda - I agree. There is a continuing swell of liberality that I can sense and these perspectives are becoming more widespread - barring any extremist backlash, I can only see that continuing.

I've had enough teachers, instructors, professors lean over very close, or sharing a map in close company, and, frankly, there's yet a male who's breath I find even remotely pleasant.
Ineke

Ineke - that's interesting... I wonder if there's a real, physiological difference there? Perhaps up close we respond subconsciously to pheromones as well as halitosis..?

Has it changed my perspective on sexuality? Yes very much so. I now know there are lots and lots of hetero males (some who cd and some who don't) who really do not consider themselves anything but hetero as long as they are with someone who looks feminine above the waist.

Great points Kendra - thanks. The more I think about this and see what other folk have experienced the more I have begun to appreciate sexuality and gender as a continuum and not a binary, or ternary, spectrum.

Looking great dressed as a woman is an illusion. Being dressed to the nines in a dress and heels is an illusion whether it is a man or a woman in the clothes - in both cases it is temporary. What is real is the person, and so far in my life all the attractive people - in terms of personality - have been genetic women. It is not clothes or appearance - being a woman is much, much more than that.

Susan - that is a really well made point. How many husbands (and vice versa!) have been hooked by an illusion only to have that dissipate once they've been married for a while. We have an ability sometimes to see things as we want them, rather than as they really are. But isn't that also the secret of some our own alter egos too?

... as one lady put it i'm not "cookie cutter straight!" even if i'm leaning wayyyyyyy more towards women ... i always wondered what a relationship would be like with a fellow cd'r ... someone who "GETS" it... and me! ... totally! ...

Mink - that's a really honest view, thank you. And for me that's also supporting the view of both a continuum of gender AND the fact that real relationships are about more than just physical compatibility.

Katie R - thanks for that link - believe it or not I had searched for topics like this but came up with a blank -I guess I have to improve my search skills - there are a lot of pertinent points on that thread too and makes interesting reading.

Isha - thanks for that further insight around relationships. Reminds that recently a young British athlete (Tom Daley -High diving) came out and revealed that he was in a relationship with another guy but was equivocal about actually being gay. He really focused on the emotional relationship rather than any physical attraction, which supports your final point. And actually that was Wilde's defence (the title line some may have recognised from Lord Alfred Douglas' poem) in that famous court case.

For me, it's just underlined how important it is that we don't jump to conclusions about our own or others sexuality nor expect there to be any answers or blinding insights that provide any definitive categorisation (Ahh.. yes, Mr G, you're a Cat. 3.iv(f) lingerie CDer ... ) - just makes for a more interesting world I suppose - and some continuing headaches for those of us who can't resist thinking about this stuff.

Thanks again girls - Katey x