@DocRobbySherry - the reason you "felt like you were with a women when you fooled around with her" is really simple. She is a woman! Surprisingly enough, some women are born with penises.
@DocRobbySherry - the reason you "felt like you were with a women when you fooled around with her" is really simple. She is a woman! Surprisingly enough, some women are born with penises.
I have been attracted to other cds, androgynous, feminine and effeminate men. I have not had sex, don't even want to because I'm not attracted to the plumbing at all. No TSs for me, I just want to have some fun. I don't have to be dressed. Just some girly time together. I've asked this question to myself many times as to whether I'm bi. I could be but sex with a man is out for me. I've had 3 encounters, where I've questioned my sexuality. damn.. as if I don't have problems already.
Hi Christine,
Very interesting thread and I agree with others . . . it is not a conundrum if you feel good about yourself and those you are with . . . you are just sharing a loving relationship with someone who shares that love in return. I am not going to go down the whole label road as I thing that has been done to death already in this thread and I don't think your OP was about labelling
In reading your post, I get the impression you are talking about relationship and support from the other person. By our very nature we (humans) are social creatures and we strive to have kinship. Sometimes that kinship is purely friendship and sometimes it is more. You have transcended to "more" with these gals you date and involve yourself with. You don't see gender (plumbing), you see the person for who they are "someone you find interesting, someone you are attracted to and someone you wish to share with" That is the basis of a good relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.
I for one am glad for you that you can find such affinity and say continue if it makes you feel good . . . don't worry about the label.
Hugs
Isha
I was so naïve when I started. As a card-carrying hetero (with maybe just a smidgeon of latent homo interest), I think I just sorta knew instinctively that finding an interested woman would be tough and so I began to explore the gay dynamic -- which of course soon led to a bunch of other bubbles bursting. :-) Over time, that exploration has led to a far more open and genuine attraction to guys, but only as CD + guy, never guy + guy. Unfortunately, while my feelings have changed, very little meaningful interaction has developed beyond platonic friendships, so now I'm thinking that CD + CD might be the best shot for a relationship worth having, and I find that as I've opened myself up to that line of thought the emotional and physical attraction to a "sister" is not a stretch at all. In fact, it's pretty enticing. The only downside is that in IME CDers typically come with TONS of baggage and/or issues that complicate things way more than they should.
I love women so much I not only want to be with them, I sometimes want to be one of them. That said, as I have discovered this other side of myself, I have found myself drawn to the male plumbing, but not the actual male. It's all so very confusing, and doubtful that I'll ever take any action on my new found interest, but there's something about dressing that has awoken this strange curiosity.
If I'm going to dress up like a girl, I'd hope I could be at least somewhat attractive.
Or at least, that's part of the goal...?
I can be Very attracted to someone, but I may be strange in that I don't think
of that in terms of being sexual. Aren't we the ones that know the difference
between sex and gender as well as anyone?
I see pictures of Gorgeous ladies here. Just Stunningly Beautiful. I compliment
them, admire them, even be a little playfully flirty with them. They're attractive.
But that in No way means I think *sex* when I see or play with them.
In a perfect world, I'd love to have them as friends and go about normally
shopping etc. Others may see us and assume there's more to it than there
is and that's one of many details that makes life difficult for lots of us.
I can't speak for anyone else, but just because I'm attracted to one of
us, I feel like that's normal. I only know them as the girl they present themselves
to be. They're very attractive. I don't desire to marry them, though. I'm
aware of reality.
I see us as girls, so I can't help but be attracted. I'd Love to work in an
office full of CD's. That'd be fun to be around Pretty Girls all day, but know
there's safety in that no romance would ever come of it...(for me anyway)
If my personal orientation were anything other than what it is, I'd most
absolutely certainly be one to say so and be what I was. People always have,
and I guess always will, put me in their own version of a category. If they
were to ask which box I go into and accept that, they'd almost always be
surprised. The trick is getting them to accept what I'm telling them.
I hope no one takes my compliments and playfulness as anything more
than it is. I assume that's common and understood....
♥
There's an old joke that I think applies to this thread:Originally Posted by Kate Haylette
Q: What's the difference between a straight cross dresser and a gay cross dresser?
A: About two beers!
Now I don't mean that for real - I don't think it's accurate at all, just a joke.
But I will say that you might surprise yourself when meeting other CD / TG / TS girls in person. There are men who are really NOT gay, but who nevertheless are extremely attracted to transgender women. Nobody really knows why this is - but it is a reality. There is a whole sub-genre of porn dedicated to this, as doubtless many folks on this forum know, but mostly won't admit to. (Although I'm ashamed now, I admit I viewed this stuff before - I found transgender women to be attractive, although I never attempted to meet one in person.)
And I can tell you that attraction to another trans woman came as a big surprise to me. A little while after I started HRT, I started to really notice men. This was new to me - I'd never been attracted to men at all. I thought to myself, "well, this is a surprise, but I guess I'm a straight girl after all." (Sexuality is confusing for me on HRT.) I knew another trans woman in one of the support groups I attend. I thought maybe she had a crush on me - but that didn't make sense, because she was dating various guys. (She had fun stories about this.)
One night, at dinner with our support group, after the meeting, she just gently caressed my shoulder as she passed behind me. It almost was an accidental touch, but it wasn't. It was very, very gentle. And it sent electricity through me, butterflies in my stomach, and we've basically been inseparable ever since. I have never experienced such a strong attraction to another person in my entire life. It is like nothing I've ever felt before.
So why I don't think this is the same as being attracted to men:
1. We both identify as women. But let's face it - you can argue that we both have penises, so we're men right? (BTW, if you dare to make this argument to me, well, you won't much care what I say to you in reply.)
2. We're not interested in the plumbing. Seriously, it barely works thanks to HRT. (Mine mostly doesn't work *at all*.) We view each other as women, and our relations are more like those of lesbians. (We'll both be happier with each other after SRS.)
3. There are men who are interested in us - but they are not the gay men in my area. I live in gay central in Dallas - believe me, if you want to have sex with another male, this is the place to get it. The gay guys I know consider me a woman, and talk to me like one, sometimes confiding stuff to me that they wouldn't share with another guy.
I think we are visual creatures, and so the notion that what's in someone's pants, something you can't see, would trump their appearance seems pretty silly to me. Sure, there are guys who are going to be totally turned off once they discover the girl they took out has a penis. Some guys no doubt decide that "yeah, ok, not usually my bag, bug damn, she's so hot, I'll do her anyway." And there are men who extremely attracted to the unique anatomical characteristics of transgender women (either CDs or TS) and who are NOT attracted to other men.
I think what's going on here is largely distinct from what's commonly considered "gay". These are generally straight acting, straight appearing men, who date either genetic women (but are generally unsatisfied), or TG women.
Anyway, it's no surprise really that some of us should be numbered amongst them, and be attracted to TG women.
I've omitted talking about gay CDs. There are some. I talk to a number of gay girls on this forum. I think that is probably a different situation still.
My take from years of interweb forums on CDing, as well as outside research, is that there IS no "y'all"... as in the population in general, we hit a wide variety of points on interwoven bell curves of gender and sexuality.
My personal experience is that I've slowly evolved, or grown, or changed, whatever, to a more open stance, meaning that while years ago I knew I wanted ONLY to be with GGs, I now at times entertain the notion of being with a CD. Total honesty is that would be for fun rather than a long term relationship. THAT said, I never have been one for one-night stands. Now, did all that parse?
Sherry, maybe it is because you saw in her what you want in yourself, that is, her mannerisms and such, and the notion of having that is a turn on.
... and, at the risk of sounding cold, well, it might also have been the fact she was available and interested, and there was no interested GG available. Some males can be flexible in their sexuality when GGs are not an option.
I guess this does go for me too, to a degree. I am very attracted to some of the cd girls that I see on flikr, and some other cd sites.
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